Child Putting Me In A Temper Grrrrrr!!!!!!?

Question

My 3 year old has got so naughty and rude, between hitting,shouting madly and wrecking the house he has got my temper at boiling point, I'm running around like a mad man shouting and swearing which makes him even worse and its causing problems between me and my partner because we end up fighting, and to make matters worse my partner is due today with our second which is stressful enough without dealing with this.

How do you cope with a 3 year old devil because I can't very well at all, I can hardly sleep at night with the stress of it all.

Answer 1

Have you tried reward charts? I use them with my son, also three, and they work so well. The treat at the end of the week doesn't have to be anything big, my little boy gets to pick another Thomas the Tank Engine book or something if he's been good all week. Small price to pay I think!

Good luck with it, it's hard work when they get like that isn't it.

Answer 2

Your son is just pushing the boundaries. He wants to know what he can get away with, and what he can't.
The easiest parenting tip in the world is: Make rules, define the punishments and STICK WITH IT.
The sticking with it part is the hardest. Start small. 3 rules. I would start with, No hitting, Clean up your mess, and No shouting in the house.
The punishments are the same for all 3. I would try the time out corner. He will not stand in it the first time, or the second...... You will spend a half an hour putting him back into time out repeatedly. But if you give up you are essentially telling him that he is smarter and more stubborn than you, and he will win.
If you don't win now you will very soon have a very naughty little teenager on your hands!

Also, every time you swear, or lose your temper (and we've all be there so no judgements) you are letting him win.

Answer 3

It sounds like your 3 year old is needing some attention. Go for walks, to the park put a small puzzle together stress from a new baby coming and stress from parents reactions are extremely overwhelming to some children. The more you ignore the bad (unless harmful to self or others) and do activities together it can help bring everyone's stress down. Reading books right now probably would become stressfull wait awhile. Breath a lot sometimes the parent's needs the time out.

Answer 4

3 year olds are worse than 2 year olds because it all seems so much more personal because they are older and more able to hold proper conversations (ie. be a lot ruder a lot more coherently!).

No amount of sticker charts, naughty steps etc. have ever worked with my children - basically when they get to much for me I send them to their room (I have 2 little boys).

I also have a picture of a sun and a cloud in the kitchen and if they are naughty, their name goes on the cloud and they don't get any treats for the day (sweets after dinner etc.) and they don't get to have any 'golden time' with me (20 minutes in the late afternoon when they choose what they want to do ie. cycling, painting, playing football etc.).

It doesn't always work but the threat of going on the cloud generally makes my 5 year old's behaviour improve although the 3 year old doesn't take the slightest bit of notice!

Boys just need loads of activity - they are like puppies and if they don't get outside they go a bit mad, pee on the carpet and start to do really naughty things !!

Generally you can't change what they are doing at the moment but you can change how you feel - leave the room, go outside, read the newspaper in the garden and spend a couple of minutes just calming down (sorry, sounds like I am a perfect earth mother - I most categorically am not and on occaision I feel like punching a hole in the wall I am so angry!).

Good luck and it will get better.

Answer 5

Sounds very frustrating for you!

At 3 children do tend to try and push boundaries (little darlings!) so as horrible as it sounds this may just be a normal phase of behavioural understanding.

Does your child go to a pre-school? Because is this behaviour going on there as well, or have there been nay changes in the routine that might have upset him (eg if he's just started pre-school this could be a way of dealing with the anxiety). Also if he does go the practitioners there will have more knowledge than us net people would have on your child an may be able to offer more advice.

Have you talked to your child about the babies arrival? Maybe he is scared and worried or maybe he thinks this is getting your attention and so repeats it?

Try to see if theres a pattern to the behaviour eg times, places, words, situations...you may see what triggers him and be able to find a solution!

Good luck.

Answer 6

He is reacting to the stress in the home and God knows you do have stress in the home right now! Remember that this situation is temporary. Get someone to give you and your partner a break. He needs attention and he is going to get it no matter what he has to do! So, if you can't give it to him right this minute which is totally understandable, the find someone who can. Send him on an overnight with a chum or grandparent. You will be able to handle him more clearly after a bit of rest.

Answer 7

Your child is probably getting jealous about the arrival of the new baby. Try and take him out and have a fun day with him. He needs to know that he's still important too and that the new baby isn't going to take all your time and attention away from him.

When he starts to hit and act out - engage him in an activity. Take him for a walk, go outside to play, get out some finger paints - but tell him that he needs to get control of his body and make good choices before you can do something fun. Tell him you want to take him to do something fun but he has to act like a big boy or you can't go.

Also, talk to him about being a big brother and letting him help with the arrival of the baby. Once the baby is born make sure to take him out for "big boy" things without the baby.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Sounds a bit like MY little boy.

If(when) you feel yourself going, Take a deep breath, try to be calm Don't shout- that doesn't resolve the issue it creates a new one.

Above all, Try to focus on the good behaviour give him loads of praise for being a good boy and soon he'll realise that being good is the best way to get attention.

If it all gets too much for you then talk to your GP.

Good luck and don't give up

Answer 9

Learn to use time out. Put your child in his room and tell him he has to be quiet for the next 5 minutes (that is about the max you'll get at age 3) then go find yourself a place to take a few deep breaths.

It's easy to get sucked into their little fits. It drives you mad, but if you learn not to get sucked in, your life will be much better and so will your kids.

Learn some strategies for deflecting their out bursts. This will distract them from the activity and get them involved doing something that you can handle. When nothing works and they're out of control, use the time out. Tell them that you're not going to tolerate bad behavior.

Also, tell the child what your expectations are for when you're about to do things. "Okay Todd, we're going to run to the store and I expect you to mind what I say and be a good boy. If you're good, we can play a game when we get home. If you're not good, you'll go into time out when we get home."

Don't threaten any discipline that you're not going to carry out. I recommend avoiding discipline that also ends up being a burden to you. For instance, don't say "We're going to have to go home if you don't stop." if you don't want to go home.

It takes a lot of work and self-discipline to handle this kind of situation, but in the end you'll have a calmer, happier household.

Find some more strategies in parenting books.

Answer 10

Take him to the park and let him run jump scream and get it all out at 3 he has some concept of what is happening but can not understand his or yours emotiond.When you get back have some food and all have a nap.Hopefully your all feel better