me and my mum's relationship.........?

Question

help, i need help. im 17 and just adjusting life to being around in a mised skl. Before going me and my mum were like sisters but now i cant even talk to her properly. I just feel like she's nagging me all the time. It's actually driving me crazy. Is it normal to be like this with ur mum because all i hear my mates saying that they think their mum s are bitches and so on... Will it be better after going to uni?

Answer 1

by the way - mum is not an incorrect spelling - only in America it is - directed at one answer you already received.

Mothers and daughters in the teenage years - yes, there are conflicts and yes, it is commonplace. I am concerned by one statement you made about being like sisters before going to mised skl (what is that by the way?) - she is your parent first and foremost but it sounds like she didn't sustain that boundary.

At your age, it is a big period of adjustment for some parents - knowing that you are rapidly approaching adulthood and mother's go through this thing called "empty nest syndrome". She may be experiencing some of that now and reacting accordingly.

As you had that sister-like relationship previously, why don't you pick a moment that is not conflicted and just talk to her? Start out with safe subjects - like travel down memory lane with her - get that communication going and open the door further to share how you are feeling about the changes ahead of you in your life (don't "assault" the nagging behavior). In turn, she may open up a little about her side of things - know what I mean?

It does get better, by the way. Transition and change is hard on everyone.

Answer 2

At 17..you're growing up into a young man and your mum (spelt correctly if you're brittish-which i am)....is just being your mum...teens at that age always call their mums 'bitches'...naggers'.....sit down with your mum and let her know that you want to be as close as you were before and you're not sure why that has changed since you started skl. Only you and your mum can change the way things are now. She may not even realize she's getting under your skin. Talk with her* YOu'll work it out.....you'll want to do this as when you move off for university.....you may not see your mum as often......so keep the communication lines open* BestWishes*

Answer 3

Just remember you only have one Mum and even though you may not meet eye to eye with her all the time..... I am sure she is doing the best job she can? We live in a fast world, fast cars, fast jobs, fast food and sometimes finding quality family time together to talk with our Mum's is a real challenge at hand. Make her a cuppa and set some time aside to talk with her. You will not have your Mum forever and if you don't tell her what you want her to hear now, one day you may not get that chance!

Another thing to remember is that we all have our good days and bad days and sometimes timing is everything. You will know when the time is right to talk to your Mum.

Answer 4

It is absolutely normal, your Mum is very concerned about you & worried since you have started to go out more with boys. My Mum was the same way & scared someone might hurt me.
Maybe she is also going through some depression problems because you are growing up & will be leaving home when you go to University. It's hard to say good bye & let your children go & let them grow up. I am a Mum & had a hard time too. Good luck, try & sit down with her & talk & tell her how you feel.

Answer 5

I maybe think it could be to do with you 'growing' and learning about who you are, as your circle widens peer group....it is a lot going on for you and a lot of development as you grow into your own person with your own individual likes, dislikes, interests, which sounds like you are now exploring and finding out.
Mum maybe needs just a little reassurance. With the great foundation that you have described between you and your Mum 'like sisters' it sounds quite special.
I hope this helps a little, love to you and your Mum

Answer 6

My wife and I have been seperated but still friends for 4 years.Our 16 year old daughter lives with her mom and your question sounded just like it was her talking.
So I guess what you are going through is'nt that unusual , it's probably that age old generation thing.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder so perhaps time apart while you are at university will allow you both to remember what you love and miss about each other. Good luck with your life.

Answer 7

Most teens go through a phase where they can't relate to their parents...it's normal. Just try to keep in mind that your mum loves you and is only looking out for your best interest. Try to spend some good quality time with her doing something you can both enjoy. Try not to fight her on senseless things......it will pass. I remember going through this when I was a teen....and now that I am a mom myself I realize why my mom was how she was. There is a time when every parent realizes that they have to be a parent and not a friend to their children...

Answer 8

We mom's are bitches. Its just nature. When you become a mum you will understand. Your 17 and she feels like she's losing you so she holds on tighter. Sometimes it would be nice to just sit and talk with your mom and if she feels like she's not completely losing you and you still do have a relationship then it wouldnt be so hard for the transformation. You are becoming a woman and she's losing her little girl.!!!!

Answer 9

I'd search for a way back to communicate with her more effectively, and see where's she's coming from. There is a generation gap between kids and parents, but you can eventually work things out. All your mates and their moms problems doesn't mean you have to have problems with your mom. Work it out and talk to her.....meet somewhere in the middle on things. She is your legal guardian so repect her wishes, and things will usually be okay.

Answer 10

It is part of maturing to feel that way. If you didn't, you'd still be living with her when you are 40 years old. If you accept this idea, your relationship with her can be easier as you prepare to leave the nest. It will be better when you go to university or leave the house. But she will always want to be "the mother". She has had her identity in that role.