what ware the practical things that need to be done when father dies leaving mom?

Question

Parents are in their 80's....mom has house, there is a will, I just want to make burial and afterward smooth for mom

Answer 1

I can only speak to what you need in the US, and it may differ if you're elsewhere.

1. If your father is ex-military, get a copy of his DD-214. If they don't have burial plots, he and your mother can be buried together in a National Cemetary.
2. Funerals are expensive. You or another family member needs to be there, some funeral homes will try to talk you into things in your grief. Not all of them, but some.
3. Make sure she gets multiple copies of the death certificate. The rule is about 12. She needs them to get his name off accounts, the house, the car, to put the utilities in her name, and so on.
4. If your father is ill and has always done the account balancing, then she needs to learn how now.
5. You need to make sure they have a list of all their accounts, bills, insurance policies and so on.
6. Typically, the funeral home will submit the paper work on social security automatically. Usually the man was the primary wage earner, and his is more.
7. So you know, grief lasts as long as it lasts. Be supportive. My mother talked about killing herself when my father died..I told her I understood, but I thought it would be pretty selfish of her to put me through that on top of losing my father. You have to walk the line between "I understand your grief", but not let them go off the deep end.

I know there are more..but I can't think of them.

Answer 2

Make sure that all the relevant people know that he has died, so that things like bills and stuff come in her name, to avoid any problems later on. If he was getting any benefits, make sure that if poss they re transferred to her name. Just be in the background takin any hassle away from her, reply to letters and cards for her, I found when it happened to me, I became HER mother, in a way, so do all the things a Mum would do for her child.

Answer 3

It's very hard to lose a parent no matter what age. Your Mom will be completely lost without him after all those years. If she's able, keep her involved with family, church, friends, and neighbors to keep her mind occupied while she is grieving.

Answer 4

My condolences.
Make sure to get several copies of the death certificate. You will use them all.

Answer 5

if you can, move in with mom for a while or have her move closer to you or live with you.....sorry for your loss....

Answer 6

love your life...care for your life and etc