He wants to have a no curfew now (his curfew is 1am). Am I being unfair because I still say no your curfew is 1am. What parent gives there 16 yr.old girl no curfew-can there be that much trust? Am I being unreasonable?Should I give him a no curfew?
2007-04-20 17:26:33 · 21 answers · asked by Daisy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
NO -- it is YOUR HOME -- STICK with the CURFEW!!!!!
It is not that her parents trust her -- they just do NOT care what that girl is doing at this time.
YOU are not being unreasonable here -- YOUR son is (after all, he is eating your food, living in YOUR home, and yes, enjoying what you have worked hard for).
2007-04-20 18:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can a 17 year old boy do after midnight? 1AM curfew seems too late because he is only 17. Stick with the 1AM curfew. If he argues with you that his girlfriend's parents don't care when she comes home, tell him that those are her parents not his. He is YOUR son, not theirs. No curfews just gives them more freedom to do whatever they want. You don't know what they could be doing that late. I've never had a curfew, but that is because my parents trust me. It's all based on a level of trust. If you know you can't trust what your son is doing at night, you have to set a curfew. Obviously the girl's parents trust her well enough to give her no curfew. I say just stay with the 1AM curfew, it's more than enough.
2007-04-20 21:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by contender569 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17 marks entry into a very promiscuous lifestyle. One of the reasons your son might be asking for no curfew is so that he can experience a sexual lifestyle with his girlfriend. Before allowing him no curfew, you should make sure that this is not the case, perhaps with a long talk. Find out exactly what he wants to do with his no curfew privalege. As his parent, you should be able to seek out a genuine answer. If it seems harmless then allow the no curfew, experimentally, but keep a close eye on him as to how late he comes home, where he's been, etc. After the experimental period, if he proves that he can handle the new privalege in a mature manner than you can implement it permanently. If it is completely disobeyed, i.e. he comes home at 4 or 5 am then discontinue it. Make it clear that he is on a very tight leash and that you as his parent can revoke the no curfew privalege at any time.
2007-04-20 17:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by chandrxaua 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question.
You have to ask yourself some questions on this.
Has he even been in trouble before? What kind? Ever with the police involved? Does he ever come home drunk or appear to be on something? If there are signs, then she might be trouble, if not give him a chance, but if he screws up then he gets a curfew put back on him.
Has she ever been in trouble before? Why cant you stand her? Is it because she is trouble? What are they going to be doing that they need to be out at 2 or 3 am? Can he be trusted to use good judgement or is he one to follow and jump off a bridge just because his friends do it?
Maturity levels are different in everyone. As a law enforcement officer I have seen some 30 yr olds that need curfews and some 16 yr olds that dont.
I never had a set curfew. Then again I never got in trouble with the police. I didnt go out busting up the town or starting fights. We just went to someones house and hung out, watched the game. No Drugs or alcohol was involved either.
2007-04-21 02:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by weapon_30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your son's curfew, at 17 I had a 1am curfew (weekends only, Fri and Sat.) I would also advice getting to know this girl and having her and your son hang out at your home as much as possible. Let them have their privacy, but also make it well aware that you are home. Make sure this girl understands the rules to your home. Yet, try to be civil w/ her and get to know her. Just b/c her parent's don't give her a curfew doesn't mean she is a bad girl, but then again, she could be.
Just continue to set your rules, don't less them or make them more harsh. Just enforce the ones you have.
2007-04-20 17:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A 1am curfew seems late to me!
I don't think you are being unreasonable, I mean where are they going so that they are up so late? The curfew for driving is 11 and not many people are out then. It seems unsafe and unnecessary to be out so late.
2007-04-20 17:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by ~Yalith~ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep the curfew. He is a minor and in most areas there are curfew laws that may be more stringent than the curfew you have set. Just because her parents let her run wild doesn't mean you should let your kid run wild too.
2007-04-20 17:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1AM for a curfew? Wow!! My curfew was 11pm on fridays and saturdays. It was 9pm on weekdays. As to the girl, when its time for him to come home...tell her to go home. Do not allwo her to stay past your sons curfew. Stand your ground. Do not give in. When he is 18, graduated high school and out on his own he can live by his own rules. Until then, you rule.
2007-04-20 17:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by asbratcher 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
not a good one if you ask me. I'm 17 and my curfew on the weekends is 11pm. also, I'm not allowed to do anything during the school week.
when my brother was my age (he's nearly 26 now) his curfew on the weekends was midnight and no where during school days. he complained but he only made it worse by getting himself grounded. my parents even became VERY furious if he showed up at 12:30.
my mom is very strict but I don't say anything to her because if I tried then she would not let me go anywhere at all.
you are more than reasonable to him and that gf he has is NOT a good influence on him at all. teens mine and his age aren't up to anything good past 1am if you ask me.
my brother had a girlfriend at that age who had no curfew too and he got in so much hot water because of her.
he better be glad that you're not like my mom is! LOL!!!
2007-04-21 10:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by ♫L♥veGrαd08♫ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What can a 17 year old do after midnight that he can't do before midnight? Get into trouble.
And what parent gives his/her 16yo daughter no curfew? The kind who doesn't care.
You are NOT being unreasonable. Stick to your guns. It doesn't have anything to do with "trust," it has to do with being a parent, understanding what being a 17yo is about, and helping him to become a responsible adult. I applaud you!
2007-04-20 17:33:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋