my boyfriend works and we live together, we're suppose to split bills down the middle and pay for it, but everytime he gets paid, he'll buy all types of useless things like candy, energy drinks, a lighter, or cigars...and what really is bad is that he smokes cigarettes and pot....they're both expensive, he'll buy that several times a week, so when it comes to bills, he'll have maybe $50 to pay the bills, and it leaves me paying all the bills, If I still have money left, he wants to spend that too..I've talked to him about it so many times, and he doesn't listen......usually, he doesn't tell me how much he's made, he tries to keep it from me, I tell him that he shouldn't have to keep anything away from me, we're suppose to be a team, he calls me a golddigger, but really, I just want all bills paid on time and paid equally....what should I do????
2007-04-20 16:59:57 · 12 answers · asked by nikki 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should move out and get your own place. He is using you.Why would you want to be with someone who doesnt listen to you and has no respect for you. Youre not married to him. You owe him nothing. Get out while you can.
2007-04-20 17:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a husband much like your boyfriend, all the accusations he is slinging your way are truly his dirty laundry. In the first place, why do you want to be with a drug abuser? Honestly, I can't answer that myself as my husband is an alcoholic and would rather spend the money on his little nights of fun. But, after much (and I mean years) of putting up with this, I have finally realized that I have been paying the bills all along while he buys the toys and impresses his friends all the while telling others how he does it all and I don't do anything. I don't know, I think that since (I am assuming) you are young and obviously dependant and responsible, why not find a MAN who will appreciate you and put you before his nasty little boy habit. I wish I had my youth back and could make the choice over again. I would offer you the cliche' "Good Luck" but honey, pull your head out of the clouds and look for the life you so deserve and really want.
2007-04-20 17:33:47 · answer #2 · answered by LaRae 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you and he have no joint bank accounts. He is doing this because his dad keeps bailing him out. I would talk to his dad about this privately, because even though he might think he's helping, he's not. He's just enabling your partner to have bad money management skills. If he's not paying his bills without help, that will hurt your chances to get loans later on. You need to have a long talk with him about his behaviour, because if you two want to have a future together, he can't sabotage your future finances like this. There are strategies you can use to save money. Tell him to go to his bank and set up a savings account that's hard to access, and then to go to his employer and get part of his wage put into that account. He is not to touch this money. That is his savings. It isn't for spending, it's for using in an emergency. He just needs to learn how to manage his money. It's a learned behaviour. If he's too lazy to learn, get rid of him. You don't need this kind of problem. When his father dies, you'll be the one bailing him out. That's not a good precedent for a relationship. Best wishes.
2016-05-20 01:01:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would simply tell him you are moving out,and mean it.If you have to pay the utilities and rent plus try to put food on the table.Or unless he agrees to a kitty where each of you contribute an equal amount weekly to cover everything in the every day running costs of living.You're out of there.
Look lass if this is how he behaves now,do you honestly think he'll change when you have children.No way,his own creature comforts come first.His motto is me me me.Luckily you're not married or have kids.Think with your head not your heart.Move on.Find someone who appreciates you.This guy is a freeloader.Tell him you're not having any success in you're gold digging endevours,so his freeloading days are over
2007-04-20 17:35:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is the gold digger.
Your boyfriend spends his money on crap instead of bills because he knows you are responsible and will take up the slack, like you've been doing.
You should move out/kick him out. The two of you are not a team---you are the captain keeping your financial lives in order while he's living the good life and not making any sacrifices. He's using you. He may love you, but he's using you.
2007-04-20 17:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by Susan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the TRUE Golddigger (your boyfriend) is doing what all addicts do when they can't accept their own responsibility for their behaviors -- try to DEFLECT it onto another -- and if that person takes it ... they will keep dishing this out .. making you co-dependent!
There needs to be a SERIOUS talk right now between the two of you -- and if you need a counselor to do it ... so be it .. go to your local religious institution or counseling center and have HELP ..
BECAUSE
you are going to say this:
A RELATIONSHIP between TWO people is one of EQUALITY and sharing. YOUR addiction is NOT sharing .. it is SELFISH and it is HARMING me.
I can NO LONGER Support you in your addiction. YOU must make a choice -- and it is either to go to treatment and stick with it, or ...
IF you choose to NOT go to treatment, and are unwilling to deal with your addictions and lack of willingness to be an equal in this relationship ...
I will NO LONGER Allow you in the Home anymore .. will NOT pay your bills, and will NOT support you in your desire to stay addicted.
THAT is what he needs at this time ... and your RESOLVE to stick to this (and kick him to the curb).
2007-04-20 17:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by sglmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly he sounds like a real D**k. Taking drugs, treating you like dirt. Being very financially irrisponsible etc. etc. etc. What are you doing with him? Do you like being treated that way?
There's a great book on finance called the "Richest man in Babylon". It changed me. It could change you and him. He might understand where you are coming from. It's sold over 2 million copies. It's easy to read and it's one of my favorate books of all time.
2007-04-21 12:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by NAJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if was you i would give him a choice pay bills to or get out. i agree with you my husband i share our money and we help each other with the bills, then we have fun if we have money left. why should you have to pay for everything? make him help
2007-04-20 17:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by attitude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him it will only get worse. Seriously look for a mate that can pull their own weight. He also sounds very immature. Good luck. I feel for you.
2007-04-20 18:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by 354gr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him already, he's not listening to a damn word you say and has no intention of changing anything.
2007-04-20 18:03:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋