My wife and I moved from our home town, of 45 years, a year ago to be closer to our jobs and I thought we would be able to have some "our time" with the move. She is now 5 minutes from work and I am 30 minutes, one way. We use to drive 35 minutes for her and 1hr 15 minutes for me, one way. We are currently renting a house in a nice town. Now we are looking to buy a house and my wife wants to move back to our home town to be closer to the Grandchildren who live in our old town. I want to buy a house where we currently live. With the move last year my wife thought she would be ok, but now that things will be more permanent with a home purchase, she now wants to move back. Am I being selfish wanting to be closer to work yet only 35 minutes from the Granchildren? Should I move back to save the marriage? Help!
2007-04-20 16:57:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Family first my man.
She wants a home, not a house.
2007-04-20 17:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you should stay in the town that is less a commute to your jobs. Look for a house to purchase that would have extra room for when the grandchildren come to visit. Get your wife to start planning on a play or game room. Or an in - ground pool or something really cool. The grandchildren are not that far away.
Your wife needs to think of your needs and not just her own.
Sit down and talk about it. Oh, and don't forget to turn in the change of address form!
2007-04-21 02:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by The mail lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't being unfair at all. Although I am very sorry for your loss I think you are being the unfair one. It is your mother, if you want her to have special care then you should really be responsible for it. I don't think it really matters that your wife has spare time, she already has 4 children to worry about in that time, and although they can pretty much look after themselves it doesn't mean she isn't thinking about them constantly. She deserves some time off and time to herself. And if you can imagine having her mother in the room next door to you you would probably realise how awkward it would be. Just cut her some slack, maybe you should visit your mum more or maybe she could just move closer to you, at the end of the day there are many other ways of dealing with your mothers depression than causing your wife to feel uncomfortable in her own home.
2016-05-20 01:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would it be possible to move in the middle-closer to the grandchildren and yet not so far from work? As a grandmother I know how important it is to be near my grandbabies,but maybe she also needs to think of rising fuel costs and be willing to meet you half way.To a woman there is a difference between a house than a home.Having your family makes it home.
2007-04-20 17:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are more impacted by the commuting.
when can you retire? how about telecommuting options?
how about taking a lower paid job in the hometown.
ie maybe you would be willing to move back but you
would take a job that cut your income in half.
does she still want to move back?
the two of you have to work this out but there are more options than you are considering.
what if she quit her job totally and would be free to drive back to that town during the day? maybe that would work.
it's not that hard to drive there on the weekend.
so there's probably more to the story. talk to her and get the more to the story. heart-to-heart
2007-04-20 17:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how often do you have to drive for work? how often do you see the grandkids? If you are spending 7hrs+ per week on the road....do you get to see your grandkids more than 7+hrs if you moved near them? would you see them more?
You spent one year of less driving and less seeing the grandkids? what was the purpose of moving? the extra 7 hours to spend with each other per week? Dont know your whole schedule or how much time lost with the grandkids
or how better your 'quality' time together or apart. You figure it out. peace
2007-04-20 17:13:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what would make the two of you happier and really talk about it, Maybe a compromise is in order for both of you. Have you thought of possibly finding something midway between where you used to live and where you are now.
2007-04-20 17:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by mamaac43 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its obvious that your wife is unhappy where she is and it will get worse if you buy a house there. she wants to be close to her family so i would move back to your old home town. and i think it will save your marriage because if you buy one where your at now she will increasingly get more unhappy and that's not good.
2007-04-20 17:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is homesick and needs to be closer to her family.Staying would only make her unhappy and bad for your marriage so move back home.
2007-04-20 22:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋