Please answer, people and adoption?

Question

We have an adopted one year old. People come up to us and ask is he really yours? We have dark hair and the baby has blonde hair with blue eyes. What can I say to let these people know they are being rude with their questions without being rude myself.

Answer 1

You look at them, kinda puzzled look on your face, and say,

"Of course. Why on earth would anyone ask THAT???"

Answer 2

I am adopted, and am now raising 4 kids that are not biologically mine, and I am SO sick of hearing are they yours? And the WORST is when people say that my adoptive mother isn't my REAL mom---I think it is a situation that you have to experience to understand....those who are rude are that way, because they just simply don't know.......there have been times that I want to explode when I get these questions that seem so moronic and apalling, but I have come to learn that people need education....and you are just the person to educate them....I find it simple to say, yes these are my children...as easy as that. YOU are feeding that child, right? And YOU change the diapers and are called mommy or daddy and calm their fears at night? Then that child is YOURS(For all you folks that have to find something to whine about, I am not trying to say the child is thier property)...Sometimes you can use it as an opportunity to let people know just how many children are waited to be adopted in the United States alone, let alone other countries. I applaud you for being offended---it should show you that, yes that child really is yours. If you didn't feel that way, it wouldn't bother you so much-----if it doesn't hurt you to do so, you should explain that you may not have given birth to the child, but that is not what a mother/father does---all you need is a donor for that. It takes a REAL mother or father to take that child as their own and protect them and love them regardless of anything else.

Answer 3

I was adopted and my mother always answered that question with a yes. My opinion is genitics run way back, my husband is the only one in his family in 3 generations with blonde hair and blue eyes. I would say YES to that question.

Answer 4

Sadly, the world is filled with rude people, you can try two things, either tell them the baby is yours, period, or as nicely as possible point out that they are being rude. Either way, the child is yours, anyone can be a Mother or Father but blood doesn't care when it comes to being a good Mommy & Daddy. Good luck to you all and God bless.

Answer 5

My husband has dark hair and green eyes. I have brown hair and brown eyes. My first son has blond hair, blue eyes. My second son has sandy blond hair and hazel eyes. My daughter has brown and brown. They all have different skin tones. I don't know why people say such mean things. I do have people ask me all the time where my kids got their eyes or hair color. I have always said to my husband, "What if we had adopted them?". I am sorry that you have to go through this.

Answer 6

Be honest. Say "Yes." You can point out, if you like, that s/he is adopted and leave it at that. There is something precious about an adopted child. My own children have chosen to not have children of their own, for reasons I respect whole-heartedly. That baby is yours and your spouse's. No doubt. You are his/her parents. When and if it ever comes to requiring full medical attention, then it's in the best interests of the child to know as much as is possible about the biological parents, but them I'm sure you're well aware of that.

Answer 7

Simply respond, "I know we don't look alike, but we love this baby unconditionally, and thats all that matters." Whether or not we look alike should not.

Congratulations on your new baby by the way and good luck to your new whole family. I wish you all the happiness that this world has to offer. Don't let any rudeness make you feel uncomfortable, what they think really doesn't matter - It's all about how you feel as a parent.

Answer 8

I have this problem with my own son, I have dark hair and eyes and he's a little blue eyed blondie (takes after daddy who is deployed so it's just me and the baby). But I always get "are you babysitting him?" or "is he yours?". I just say "no I stole him." or "nope I picked him up on the clearance rack back on aisle six" they know your joking and usually just laugh, but it doesn't really answer their question, which they shouldn't be asking in the first place and you should not feel obligated to have to explain your child to them.

Answer 9

Yes. He is yours. Depending on your mood and the environment that you're being approached in, you can choose if you want to expand on the explanation. But once you've adopted, that child has the same legal rights as a child you (or your wife if that's the case) gave birth to.

Answer 10

I HATE rude people. Being adopted myself....my parents were often approached with this question. If someone asks again if he is yours....just say, "As far as I know he is." They can't go further with that.

Answer 11

He is really truly your very own sweet adopted child-shut their questioning down with a direct and honest answer-and one in which the tone conveys a sense of pride. And rightly so, imho.
As adoptees, my sister and I vaunted the fact that we were wicked-special.Chosen. Our parents got to pick us, theirs, we lamented, just had to take pot luck. That resulted in half the neighborhood kids all bawling about it to their folks. Got'em all knowed up about it, real quick.
Good luck!