i have two kids aged 11(girl) and 7(boy).I am a house wife. all the time you will hear me scolding and yelling at my kids. small small things also disturb me a lot. but when i realize them later on I feel very bad about scolding these innocent children.please help.
2007-04-20 14:23:17 · 4 answers · asked by shelly 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It is usually the build up of the little things rather than one or two big things that causes a person to lose emotional control.
Practice relaxing when the house is quiet. Take a class in relaxation or yoga. At the same time every day learn to relax. For some people a long shower or bath or a walk or talking to a friend. Once you are relaxed, focus on those positive feelings and to mark them in your brain, put your index finger on the tip of your thumb and rub them together. Do this every time at the end of the relaxation practice time.
Progressive relaxation is an exception way to teach yourself to relax and it also gives you a "feeling" to recall when you are becoming upset.
When you become up, WALK AWAY into another room and calm down. Put those fingers together and concentrate on relaxing!
More than the old "count to ten" give yourself a five-minute TIME OUT in the bathroom. Your kids are old enough to be okay for that amount of time.
You also need to have time away from the kids, both with and without your significant other. ME time is important to recharge those batteries to handle life's stressors. You need me time every day, perhaps when the kids are in school or in bed. No housework, just something for fifteen or thirty minutes or longer that you enjoy.
Ideas include joining a bowling league once a month. Gong to the library and finding a romantic or history, whatever, book to read while you lounge in a bubble bath. Going to the gym. There are a multitude of choices, all that can help you release those tensions buried deep inside.
Think of a garbage can hidden in your stomach. Your emotions, problems, concerns, bills, etc., fill the can slowly. The stuff in the can starts to rot and eventually will erupt/explode and that is when you lose your tempter.
And if all those kinds of things don't work, it is time to have a discussion with your family doctor or see a licensed counselor for professional help before you really harm your kids.
2007-04-20 14:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all realize that Yelling and Screaming doesn't work, it just teaches your kids to yell and scream.
Try and let the kids understand how you feel when they do the behaviors... i.e. not cleaning up, makes you feel like they don't respect you and expect you to do it.
That they are older now and need to do thier part, also realize that your kids are gonna be kids, and it may take 1000 times of reminding to get them to remember it once.
2007-04-20 14:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by ~MB~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK before you actually get mad at them when it isn't really a big deal the most important thing is stop and think. Try communicating with them a different way and they might understand. Tell them your point of view on why they should listen to you, and listen to theirs. Then you guys can get along
2007-04-20 14:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well try no to get so mad at times. Also jsut have something to squeeze when you see something that makes you mad.
2007-04-20 14:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋