How does counselling help ? Seems useless so far?

Question

I'm prone to getting depressed, but since it's been affecting my schoolwork greater than normal, I decided to go counselling.

So far, the person just passively listens as I speak about private worries etc. Apparently this is what counselling is about.


Seems useless because I find that I have more meaningful internal dialogue with myself. I don't feel any better "sounding off" to another person since I always felt comfortable with probing my innermost thoughts and feelings by myself.

Should I stop going? It seems to benefit people who (unlike me) have trouble probing their own emotions by themselves.

Answer 1

You need to 1) figure out what you want out of counseling. That is one off the biggest variables concerning how much people get out of counseling, how clear they are about what they are after. 2) Unless you're convinced your present counselor is hopeless, you need to share what it is that you are looking for more of, and less of. I would encourage you to do this anyway. 3) If your counselor is unable or unwilling to address your concerns, or s/he tries and it just isn't much closer, then 4) Go shop for someone else.

Ask for a free initial 30 min consult. Don't be afraid to interview the counselors. Typically people tend to do better with counselors that broadly have similar outlooks on life. If you walk in a room and it is filled with Buddhist paraphernalia and you personally hate that sort of stuff, don't hire them.

When you talk to your current therapist about what you want, the more specific you can be the better. If you want to learn specific exercises to reduce anxiety, ask for that. If you'd like her interpretation of your opinion, ask for it.

The single most important point though is that if you don't have a good idea of what you want from therapy, you'll have no idea how to know when you get there.

Good luck. I hope you find what you want and need.

Answer 2

Counselors have different styles.... Perhaps this one's style is not helpful to you. What any counselor should be good for, though, is to tell you when you're letting yourself go too far, and when you might benefit from some medication so that depression will not affect your schoolwork. Many intelligent people who are quite good at probing their own emotions DO benefit from counseling for that very reason. What you need to do is figure out what you actually NEED and want...and then choose a counselor or maybe just a doctor instead...based upon your particular need.

Answer 3

You sound like me and in the beginning of therapy I nearly went nuts and wanted to choke the heck out of my therapist. But keep in mind the therapist is trying to learn about you, about the things in your past that might have influenced how you react to certain stimulus and what makes you react, and how.

Keep, also in mind, that you can tell the therapist what you want from therapy and ask if another approach can be taken. Some people just cannot handle the intense introspection at first which is why many of them have problems to begin with. They do not have the stability or means to delve into the things they have not learned to cope with.

One thing that helped me also, is that I didn't rely only on the therapist and what happened in her office. I did my own seeking outside of the office setting. When you feel you're ready or want to, start getting some good self help books. After 15 yrs of struggling with this, I might be able to suggest some good ones on most issues. Email or IM and ask if you'd like.

Some of these books are very good, and give you more of a clue as to what might be bothering you. Some of them have accompanying Work Books.

Therapy is definitely worth it if you get a therapist you work well with. Dont give up.

Answer 4

Counselors have no particular GIFT OVER A GOOD FRIEND , THE ONLY THING IS THAT THEY ARE DISPASSIONATE . a FRIEND HAS A VESTED INTEREST IN YOU REMAINING IN WAYS THAT THEY FIND REWARDING OR GAIN FULL TO THEM , SO THEY WILL OFFER YOU ADVICE THAT SUPPORTS THEIR NEEDS.
It is unusual that they would be trained in Analysis as a Psychiatrist would so they are taking experience from their own and previous clients life stories background.
If you are dumb you will never know what their on about and if your smart you should be able to sort out some but not all problems everyone has blocks and defenses , also remember there are things in life beyond ones control . The way that you are treated at work is the biggest bugbear because bad treatment of workers in Endemic in Britain also the standard of Civility can hurt if you are sensitive ( which I am .)And of course the world is unfair so you would get anxious and depressed about it

Answer 5

Many, if not all, people get depressed. It's okay to get counseling, but don't waste time talking about your schoolwork. Talk about why your depression affects your schoolwork and see what comes out!

Answer 6

Not all counselors are the same. Maybe you need to find another counselor that'll make suggestions or give you ideas of what to do. That's what my counselor does. We sit and talk, bounce ideas off of each other of what I could do to help myself, make goals (short term or even long term goals) to work towards... that sort of thing.

Answer 7

You need to find a counselor you connect with. There are different styles of counseling and you might be better with a different approach.

Answer 8

A counselor will not help...You need to seek out a professional therapist...........Therapists can give you different types of therapy to try till you get to the one that will help you.....No one is the same that is why there is 100s of different types of therapy.........Take your time you will get there..........

Answer 9

If you are living with your family, then Family Therapy would probably be a better choice.

Answer 10

had the same problem!!!!! listen, you just need to find the right counsiler. dont give up with counseling! it really helps, you just need the right person!