I dislike my father for many reasonable reasons. He's constantly arguing with me and my family and picks fights with no reason at all. At some moments I realize how much I hate him because of who he is. It might also have to do with him never being there when I was growing up and trying so late in the game to be "good" friends. He has a temper problem and drinks a lot, not as much as a alcoholic but still enough to affect his behavior. He's aware of all these things but refuses to do anything to solve, so my family can live a happier life. He curses a ton which I dislike a lot, talks about others in his family badly when they're not there, and he is somewhat racist. All these make me hate him and the feeling is only getting worse as I get older. I don't think leaving without solving anything and moving on with my life is the best thing. What are my other options if he refuses to at least try to change. Iv'e already tried talking to him about and it never changes a thing.
2007-04-20 12:25:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Go to family councelling. Either by yourself or with other family members. Don't live your life bitter and filled with hate for your father. He's pitiful and needs help. So do you.
2007-04-20 12:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by Suzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to do is accept the fact that YOU HAVE NO POWER over your father - or anyone else for that matter.
You have talked to him about his problems; he has acknowledged them. But he refuses to act. You cannot force him to act. You cannot choose his behavior, only your own.
You must behave in a way that allows you to look back on this period of your life without regret. Focus on your future - you do have one. Make it happy.
Oh, and remember those traits you don't like when picking a mate.
2007-04-20 19:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess he really dont think he has any problems and you said he dont drink alot but if it is affecting your family one is to much and if he dont get help for it what other choice have you got but to leave if your not happy. This will eat away at you and you will become a very bitter person if your not heard then you will be exactly like the person you dont like right now.
2007-04-20 19:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by jeannie f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can't change him unless he acknowledges the problem and wants to change his life around. It is one of the steps of an organization called Alcoholics Anonymous. They have two branches devoted to teens and family members of alcoholics called Al-Anon and Alateen. I really suggest getting involved in the organization and some counseling. Both can help you with these issues.
2007-04-20 20:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change your parents. You are in control of your life and how you let him treat you. When ever he does something to upset you, let him know you don't approve of it. If he doesn't try to make it better, don't make him part of your life. Hoperfully he will get the hint when he finally realizes he misses you. Or go to a professional and learn how to deal with his behavior. Only you can make yourself happy.
2007-04-20 19:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by ljsbeachgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to family counsellingeitherby yourself or with family members.They may help to resolve some of the issues that are going on and it helps to talk through things.
2007-04-20 21:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make a tiger change his stripes. Not only is your dad an adult, he is an "older" adult...set in his ways. If you are expecting him to significantly change his personality at this point , you are living in fantasy land. Try to accept whatever positive emotions he is willing to give...no matter how limited...or you are forever going to be unhappy.
2007-04-20 19:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋