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i waited for him today, but he didnt show. I needed him today, he said he'd be there for me. he placed such a deep reassurance in my life before but now hes being so stupid. people warned me about him , but i didnt listen, thinking i could change him. can a girl change a guy?

2007-04-20 11:01:51 · 32 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

32 answers

No you cannot change a guy, and honestly you shouldn't want to. You should want to love the person for everything that they are - and not what you can make them. Then you're not really into them - you're into the person that you created. Our hearts take a long time to catch up with our minds. We listen to our heart a lot more, but if we listened with our mind we would save a lot of heartache and grief. What you must know about men and women - mothers and fathers, friends, and loved ones is that people are going to do what they want because they want to.

What you have to understand is that you cannot be upset when that person does not act the way that you want them to. They are not Barbie's - machines, or robots and cannot be programmed. Once you stop putting so much emphasis on them disappointing you and change the focus on what you need to do you will feel much better. Change your focus to what you need to do instead of whatever it was that they did. If they continuously let you down - then they are telling you that they are not interested. When a guy is really interested on you - he will call - make time at any expense no matter how busy - how many jobs he has - he will make sure to include you.

After all if you liked someone this much - wouldn't you? What he may be saying to you is that I am really not that interested - pay attention to everything from the beginning or you will set yourself up for the same things.

2007-04-20 11:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by dshanta2 1 · 3 0

unfortunately not- i dated a guy once that said he had changed for the better. Even tho people warned about him, I didnt listen, I gave him a chance. it only caused me more hurt cuz he "changed' for a couple months and then went back to his old ways. It left me hurt for years because I wanted something that he really wasn't. I wanted something that he only pretended to be. The best thing i did was to give up and stop talking to him. People will only change if they really want to.

2007-04-20 11:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

In short, NO. We are who we are, only we can 'change' ourselves. If we are okay with ourself then there is no chance for change and others have to accept us as we are.
In a situation like yours you need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who places your needs and wants right down the bottom of their list of priorities.
How we prioritise with people is how emotionally attached we are to them. Eg child is hurt at school, parent will drop everything to get to child, partner is taken to hospital, you drop everything to get to them. Partners cat dies, not necessarily a 'biggie' so may only give sympathy over phone and continue with their day.
You need to step back and decide for yourself if this man has the emotional depth you require in a relationship.
Good luck and I hope whatever it was it has been resolved. If not, chin up and best wishes.

2007-04-20 11:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 1 0

TRUST the people who are telling you NO! No one can change another human being NO MATTER WHAT. The only way he could/would change is IF he wants to. I wouldn't even bother making suggestions to him about change. Time is wasting. Find someone who deserves you and doesn't need to change.

2007-04-20 11:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by fruitsalady2003 2 · 0 0

they let u think u can change them and thell even act like they have change until u give in to them then they are just as they are, look at the disrespect he has given u qiut needing him to be here for u hes just going to let u down over and over again when u stop telling him u need him then he will either realise that u dont and be here for u or he will say whew, got rid of that one, so see what is right in front of u dump him

2007-04-20 11:07:47 · answer #5 · answered by dwtnjuliebrown1 2 · 0 0

No, sweetie you can't. What I have learned is to not expect much this way you can't get let down. You can spend your whole life trying to fix someone or trying to get them to change and they won't. You should change, and not show so much care for someone until you know they care about you first. Hope this helps.

2007-04-20 11:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

NO! Only you can change! And hopefully, you WILL change by getting some self esteem and self-respect so you don't attract another loser/s like this one down the road. You're worth so much more than this b.s. Walk away. You don't need him.

2007-04-20 11:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by J P 3 · 0 0

No one can change a person, THEY have to be the one who wants to change, and there has to be a reason for them to want to change, if what they are doing works for what they want, they will not change. don't think you are the one who will make them see what needs to be changed, it won't work!

2007-04-20 11:11:46 · answer #8 · answered by siouxb85345 1 · 0 0

Yes, but not always expecially when they don,t want to change. It is therefore a signal for you to move on with your life and find who really complement you. Goodluck.

2007-04-20 11:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by lovely 2 · 0 0

I don't think a girl can change a guy cuz they'll change when they feel like it you shouldn't even waste your time u should look for another guy.

2007-04-20 11:09:50 · answer #10 · answered by Da 1 In Only 1 · 0 0

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