My son still in nappies!!!!!!!?

Question

now i know some of you will say the usual im a bad mother thing, but hey, iv got 3 kids and he is the only one with this problem, so do not think its my mothering skills somehow. anyway, to the point, my 6 year old boy has been dry day and night for 4 years now, no problems at all. The one thing that petrifies him totally is going to no.2 on the toilet. It has him in fits of fear, he shakes, cries, it is absolutly awful.he goes in a nappy. Iv been to heath visitor, she just says give it time and encouragemnet, but how much longer do i give it, its been 4 years!!!!! Iv done the reward system, but he doenst care what reward is offered, his fear outweighs that. Iv tried having no nappies in the house, after 5 days of no poo he ended up in hospital, they told me to put nappy on him till he was ready. but im getting so stressed out now. my 9 yr daughter is fine, but my 3 yr son is follwing his brother, and its really sad for them. Can anyone suggest anything else i can do to calm his fears?

Answer 1

I completely sympathize. My 6-year-old sleeps so soundly at night that he doesn't realize he needs to get up to use the toilet, so he still wears a Pull-Up.

There is a psychological explanation for the fear of pooping. Sometimes children fear they are losing part of themselves when they poop. It's reasonable: this whatever-it-is used to be inside me, now it's not...where did that part of me go? The best way to approach it is with patience. Using a toilet is a natural part of daily life. He'll get it (that is: you won't be changing his diapers when he's 17). He has to realize for himself that evacuating waste is a natural part of life that everyone does, and it doesn't make us any the less for doing it.

You might try reading him a book called "Everybody Poops." If you can't find it in your area, try Amazon...they have everything. Introduce it matter of factly, discuss it with him, and let him reach his conclusion.

Good luck. We're all here for you--

Answer 2

If he is scared of no 2 on the toilet only, is he afraid of the big drop into the toilet? Would he perform on a potty, or with a "special" seat fitted on over your own toilet seat, so his bottom fits on it without any gaps? (Mothercare do these) It's the balancing act that small kids can be afraid of, they feel they are going to fall off backwards into the bowl. That's why he can "go" in the nappy. It feels safe.

Tell him it's his own special toilet seat you had made for him.
My youngest was dry at the age of two day and night; but he refused to stand up to wee. He was five years old and still sitting on the toilet to wee; I finally got his older brothers to show him how. He was afraid the wee would run down his legs!

It's just an irrational fear, but if remove the source of the fear, and maybe get him used to taking a book or a gameboy to the loo to take his mind off it, and stay relaxed yourself, (if you can!)he will get the hang of it.

You can also get small plastic steps for them to be able to heave themselves up on the toilet seat. Let him do the deciding about how he wants to be in the toilet; I'm sure he'll be fine in a few months.

Answer 3

encourage and reassure him and give him a warm soak in the bath and then sit him on the loo find out why he doesnt want to do a number 2 on the loo perhaps give him a book to read whilsthe does his business or get a juniour seat to go on to the loo. and explain to him that he can not use a nappy for ever as he is a big boy now revisit the docter and reistate the rewards reward the other 2 fo going for a number 2 especially the youngest good luck:)

Answer 4

well you can do what my grandpa did to my brother and tell hi his winky will fall off if he keeps going there in the nappies. or you can try some other methods like blue toilet water and some cheerios or have a plumber come and run a snake down the potty to clear it of bogmonsters and tell your son thats his job he gets rid of all the bog monsters in the world it may cast you 50 bucks or so but hey how much are those nappies gonna cost for two kids in a few more years?

Answer 5

If anyone calls you a bad mom for this they are mean.

I would ask him when he gets home from school every 30 minutes if he needs to go.And if he says yeah go in there with him and make him sit on the toliet and tell him he is a big boy that he can do it.There is nothing to be afraid of.Maybe he is scared of falling in???They have these toliet rings to fit his bottom.I don't know what else to say.Good luck with this though.

Answer 6

You should have you or your nine year old go #2 in the toilet and he will probably see nothings wrong with it. Give him more rewards than just like a lollipop more like a new video game. Try to talk to him and try to figure out why he is so scared. I hope this helps you. If I were you Id be very scared.

Answer 7

I completely agree with the person who mentioned sensory issues - my son has dyspraxia and a lot of this is sensory. Sometimes children dont understand that this part of them (#2) has to leave them and go far down into.....a toilet?!!!how far is it from their bottom to the water?!!also, he may not be comfortable without placing both his feet on the floor - if he is sat on a big chair does he fidget a lot and wriggle?if so, this could be cos his feet dont touch the floor and its unnerved him slightly. dont be scared and DONT feel like a bad mother. just keep being patient, and regularly keep in touch with your health visitor as they are learning new things all the time and may be able to suggest something else to try. good luck!! :-)

Answer 8

Many children hav this fear, my daughter was the same. Luckily she grew out of it, and she didn't hav it for that long. Your son has a deep rooted fear now. Please take him to your doctor and insist that your son needs help.If he won't u hav a right to a second opinion.Go see another doctor. Your son sounds like he needs some form of psychiatric help. I'm not being nasty here i'm genuinely concerned that your son needs help now. You also need this resolved, as it must be hard on both u and on the rest of your family.Please phone your doctor on monday and i wish u and yours all the best as this problem will only get worse.Good luck.

Answer 9

I have a 32 year old disabled daughter and because of her "inactivity" , sometimes her poos are the size and width of a man's wrist.......my wife solves the prolem with a 1/4 square of laxative chocolate.....it works a treat.....not too much.....not too little.

Long term ,think about using more fruit , salad and veg into your children's diet.....this gives your children's "poo" more body......and helps their job of "pooing" to be more easy and more pleasant.....and will leave these fearful times behind !

Keep a "poo" book / diary......and monitor the child's motions.....and increase or decrease the laxative etc.......according to needs !

Good luck ! None of us know everything.....but we all can learn !

Answer 10

Go and see your G.P and explain everything and dont leave untill something is sorted, they may refer him and you should get help from a incontinence nurse.
Try giving him a soak in lavender bubble bath to calm him down and talk about toileting etc and see if you can get to the bottom of it. Try sitting him on the loo and use bubbles, toys, videos, songs etc to help calm him down.

Good luck Hun
Emma
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