He claims to love the person I am and my heart but says that he wouldn't "notice" me in a public place before we had met. I have NEVER encountered anything like this. I am not ugly by any means & I have Never had a problem meeting people or with men finding my attractive. I truely think he loves me but how could this really work. We don't have any problems intimately right now but what will happen later. Will he cheat with someone he DOES notice? I just don't see how it could last. And I deserve to be with someone that is attracted to me. He treats me great, he is very nice, caring, sweet and we never fight. Next month will be our one year anniversary and are talking about engagement. I am scared that a relationship where one is not completely attracted to the other just won't work.
2007-04-20 09:46:52 · 29 answers · asked by misbotta 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
NO, because eventually he will find someone that he is attracted to physically
2007-04-20 09:50:27 · answer #1 · answered by SweetThang187 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really think you need to get clarification from him as to what he meant. Otherwise,all your concern may be for nothing. Also,remember how much trouble we all get into marrying someone largely based on looks and physical attraction.For the most part,physical attraction is replaced by emotional bonding and commitment. I'm not saying the sexual attraction completely goes away but if that is all you have going for your relationship,you are in trouble. Remember attraction isn't all physical. I'm sure he is attracted to your emotional depth and your kindness along with maturity.Thank God there are still men around that recognize you are more than 2 breasts and a pretty face. Talk to him:you need to and see if he can't relieve your worries. He sounds like an exceptional man that found an exceptional woman that doesn't realize her total worth. God bless you dear and good luck.
2007-04-21 13:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by wonder woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think you need to sit down with him and ask him what he means by the whole "I love who you are on the inside, but wouldn't have ever noticed you..." He needs to explain what he meant by that. Maybe it is a good thing and not necessarily that he is NOT attracted to you, maybe it is because he never knew he could have fallen for the "girl next door" type and he has been missing out. Communication is just so important that you really need to figure this out, soon. Especially if future plans are to be made.
2007-04-20 09:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are you getting this information from. All he said was he wouldn't notice you in public place. Maybe at the time you weren't his type but once he got to know you he's totally attracted. I wouldn't think too much into this. You guys been together for a year so I'm sure if he wanted to leave you he would of did it by now.
2007-04-20 09:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I understand this correctly your only problem is he doesn't think you stand out in a crowd but you do. He didn't say he didn't love you, the sex is not a problem. So he has looked beyond the surface and seen the inner beauty that is you. So what the is problem seems to be is your ego.
OR
He is playing a clever game of bringing you down so that because you are so beautiful that he will have you convinced that no other man finds you attractive and you will only stay with him.
Which do you think it is.
2007-04-20 10:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're making too much of this situation. He didn't say he's not attracted to you he essentially said you're not the type he usually goes after. But he fell in love with you anyway because he got to know what a wonderful person you are. If just means he went for something different than he normall does and hey, it works for him! That doesn't mean he thinks you're ugly, guys can't have relationships with girls they aren't attracted to and he sounds like he really cares about you.
2007-04-20 09:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u shouldn't worry at all this guy loves u , coz if he didn't he wouldn't stay for a whole year with u 2 start with , and the second is the fact that he is still with u even though he said he wouldn't have noticed u before u met , means that he really loves u and now finds u great , coz that what love does it makes u see the other person great even though he or she is not the model u always dreamt of being with :), so i sya don't worry about it , it seems he loves u
2007-04-20 10:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by breakstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, completely true. It hurts the person that you are not attracted to physically but if you have a deep emotional connect and needs are met on every other level, yes it survives.
I am not attracted to my husband in any shape or form, I was upfront asap to him. He was head over heels and thinks I am beautiful and feels so lucky to me with me. We have been together for 5 yrs and married 5 more, so 10 yrs together shows something.
2007-04-20 09:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys aren't so good at expressing themselves when discussing their relationships. In fact some guys find it hard to contribute at all to such a conversation. However, your man is obviously not a shallow person - one who chooses his date solely on the basic of her physical attributes. He seems a decent type of guy and maybe what he meant to say came out in a clumsy way. Perhaps you and he should talk some more so that you can let him know that what he said hurt and is affecting you seriously and he can respond. I don't quite understand "I deserve to be with someone that is attracted to me". Anyway, good luck.
2007-04-20 10:03:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well think of it this way will you still love him when he gets old and wrinkly....love is not physical but the outside is just a bonus to most.....i love my grl so much and she is cute...but i know i can be with someone a lot more attractive then shell ever be but she makes me feel good inside and we both cherish each other and that wat really counts even if the sex gets bad or i dont find her attractive but it will be an obstacle to go over sum point in our lives and thats a test we must face....lets hope u both pass and if u do u both found ur love
2007-04-20 09:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by D.C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it - you deserve to be with someone that is attracted to you.
I don't think this is the guy for you - it is clear that what you need in a relationship is someone to find you beautiful - which is perfectly fine, so do I. Other people need different things from relationships.
2007-04-20 09:51:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋