should a parent be able to force her son to get a haircut?

Question

my mom is trying to force me to get a haircut. i cut it before the school year started and plan on cutting it after the school year which is only 2 months away. my hair looks like my avatar, which is not even overly long compared to some people. she says people are gonna make judgements about her based on my hair. im 15 so i may not be old enough to be a legal adult but i am still old enough that i should control my hair. i have low self esteem but it gets higher with longer hair. i dont like my face so i want to cover it up (no im not emo). shouldnt she just be happy that her sons happy with long hair instead of only thinking about what she wants? shes even complaining about what i plan on doing when i cut it. i want to get it very short, but not shaved. shes saying i look good with longer hair if i kept it neat by getting it trimmed occasionally. i dont want to trim it, i just want to cut it short, let it grow for a year, then cut it short again. i like the messy hair look i get

i dont like my face because i dont think im handsome naturally but with longer hair i think i am. the length were both happy with thing wouldnt work because i like cutting it short then slowly watching it get longer over the course of the year. i just like to let nature take its course until the next summer, which means no trims

someone answered: you live in her house you follow her rules when you move out then have it how you want but yeah she is able to make you cut your hair.

if i take after my uncle, i might to go bald shortly after i move out so i have to enjoy the ability to have long hair now because i may not always have it!!!!!

plus she can control some things if i live with her but not hair, its my hair no matter where i live

Answer 1

Personally, I don't agree with it, but yes, she can force you to cut your hair. Maybe you two can come to a length you are both happy with. Why don't you like your face?

ADDED -

I'm sorry you don't think you are naturally handsome, but you are probably the only one who feels that way. Maybe you should just tell her how you feel about it, and ask her if there is a way you can compromise.

Answer 2

My reaction is that you can keep your hair anyway you like as long as it is:

1. Clean..nothing is ickier than dirty hair.
2. Meets the guidelines for any school, sport or team you are part of or have to follow (ROTC for examply must have short hair, as do many people playing sports.)
3. That when the occassion arises that you will need to have a neat appearance (wedding, family event, etc) you willing groom the hair so it is out of your face, neat in appearance.

That being said, you should be able to choose your own style. HOWEVER, cutting it short and then letting it grow for a year, without any cuts to give it shape or leaving it messy all the time is not a style. My advice...go to a good stylist when you want to cut it and have them help you find a style meant to look messy, but with other options to it as well. That way, you can keep it longer, keep the look but keep your Mom happy as well!

I should mention that I have shaved off my hair, dyed it every color under the sun and used more gel than I thought possible at times. My 10 year old has had mohawks and cuts inspired by anime characters, my 12 yr old has had pink and green hair with the length going from her mid-back to an ultra pixie cut. All of us are planning to cut our hair extremely short over the summer to support a family member with cancer and, after the cut, my daughter will be dyeing her hair green. Both kids know that they can do as they please with their hair as long as they follow the three "rules" above.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but I think I agree with your mom. I am hesitant to even answer this question, because there is almost always more to than the story than what we write in our questions. But, I have a young son and if he wants his hair long and covering his face at 15, I will insist on him cutting it. If you have low self esteem, then maybe you should work on other solutions to this rather than covering your face with your hair. I bet you have a great looking face!! Let people see it! Please don't hide behind your hair. Maybe you can compromise and just trim it a little.....just so it's not covering your face. It sounds like your mom is being cool & trying to compromise by letting you keep long hair and just asking you to trim it a little. Lots of parents would say no to the long hair & make you cut it short. That's probably what I would do, honestly. Sorry. :o) Good luck to you!

Answer 4

My son is also 15 and he has the same hair style that you do right now. I would also like him to get a trim but I have to respect what he wants right now. Yes, in my opinion you are at the age of making certain decisions yourself including your hair. As long as my son keeps his hair cleaned and brushed, I try my best to leave him alone. I understand that at this age its very rough for you guys and you need all the self confidence you can possibly get. Try talking with your mom and explain why you want to keep the hairstyle. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 5

I dealt with something similar to this with my mother when I was living at home. I wanted to get my hair permed and she kept saying no everytime I asked. Finally I sat down with her one night when we were both calm (don't try this if you are in the middle of arguing about it) and made my case: I told her that first of all, I was 15 years old. My mother was always talking about responsibility and how I needed to start taking it! I told her that I thought I was old enough to start making certain decisions so that I could learn to take responsibility for myself. I felt like making this decision for myself about my hair was minor enough and would be a good "growing" experience for me. Trust me, parents LOVE when you start talking about responsibility and making good choices! If you act maturely about it, then she will trust you more to make a mature decision.

Lastly.... ultimately, her house, her rules. I know it sucks, but if she just flat out says no, you pretty much have to go with what she says. Don't pitch a fit about it (not mature!) because if she sees that you are being grown up about it, chances are, next time she will let you make the decision...

Answer 6

~I have 2 great boys ages 10 @12. They both have long hair and I think "live and let live" Eventually they will change their mind to another style. I don't think my son's haircut is a reflection of my parenting. They're top of their class and I'm very proud of them,short or long hair!
P.S. My 10 year old is a skatepunk and he LOVES the messy look. -)

Answer 7

All of my cousins's sons have hair and wear braids. When I have a son, I don't plan on cutting his hair either. SOME Black people may have hang ups about nappy hair, but most people cut their son's hair because long(er) hair is associated with girls and others may not feel like having to redo their son's hair all the time. So stop generalizing.

Answer 8

As a young boy, I was given home permanents and hair setting. I didnt die. That might be an alternative. Go to a salon to find how you could wear your hair more stylish than just letting it hang which might be the parents problem. Long hair looks good if its cut correctly and styled properly.

Answer 9

As a parent myself, I would say she should allow you to do what you want...however, I do agree that even if you want to keep in long for know, you should at least get it trimmed...it keeps it healthy...but you are right, you are old enough to decide somethings, and that is one....

for the record, you mother should not worry about people judging her because of you...you have to let you kids be their own person. And having you hair long causes no harm to her or you, so let it go....

Answer 10

You are a minor, so I suppose she could make you cut your hair, since she is your guardian.....

Hey, don't feel bad...there is still a law in the books here in Kansas that says that a man OWNS his wife's hair...he can make her cut it, he can make her grow it long, and he can cut it off and sell it.

When you get older, you will understand about "not covering up your face with your hair". I did that too, but now I am 40, and I realize how absolutely horrendous it looks.

Be proud of your face, and humor your mother by cutting your hair. Maybe you can get a style that YOU like AND she likes too!

Answer 11

no, to the best of my knowledge, i know of no place in north american where she can legally exercise this control of you. and that is exactly what it is, control. from the way you explain it she is clearly more concerned about her social imagine that the happiness and well being of her son. shameful for a mother or perhaps she's extremely old fashion, i don't know.

the way you describe your hair is normal for teens your age.

i work in a youth center (or i did until i was put on bed rest) and if this is all your mother has to be up in arms about, she should count herself lucky.

find a polite, adult and respectable way to tell her, look, i'm not being arrested, i am happy with myself this way, which is a big deal for a teenager, and if you have a problem with it it is just that, YOUR problem.

good luck