what to do when someone you love steal from you and lie?

Question

my brother and i have been close for year's today i found out he use my charge card without my permission it hurt and i did confront him with it and he just blatenly lied about it. i feel used, not only by him but my whole family they have been lying and stealing from me every since we were kids they also stole my first wedding rings and pawn them and never would tell me where they were so, i could get them back they all knew that their daddy was not my daddy all alone but i only found this out 2 years ago i just want to stop commuicating and talking to them all togather and live my life as best i can i'am trying to be a christian and i don't know if that would be right for me to do so someone tell me what is the best thing to do with them?

Answer 1

I personally wouldn't do wrong for wrong. If these people are treating you like the black sheep and doing all of these things to you, cut them out of your picture. You're the one getting hurt by useless lies and such. Don't explain anything to them, just get up and go. Move away and have no further communication with them. Nothing good can come from continued exposure to your "family". Sorry to be blunt, but the truth isn't always pretty.

Answer 2

It happened to my best friend also, her mom stole her credit card and took a lot of money. She found out only very late, had to pay lots of fees. Best thing to move away from them, they seem to cause you more harm. They are lying because they are using the money for some crazy stuff, which is bringing them down. They have cheated you enough, you have to move on with your life, otherwise they will drag you also. Just forgive them for what they did, but don't let them do this again to you, you can rather help the poor. Your family will realize their mistakes soon and ask for your forgiveness later. You keep doing the right thing, God will reward for you sure.

Answer 3

Lets take a step back and just focus on the credit card, for a minute. You need to face your brother about the card. If you have verifiable paper-trial proof that your brother used your charge card, without your permission...he needs to be confonted. It should not be condoned and forgotten about...he must be held accountable to you for his actions, whatever the actions may be (such as you never talking to him again, for example--you not trusting him, or whatever). Why would you think that your brother would do such a thing? Hearsay? Circumstances just might be coinsidental. You may have litterally been subject to credit card fraud, that was NOT committed by your brother. You need to call your credit card company and make a claim. Tell your brother this...and give him a chance to fess up before hand. The credit card company will investigate into it with and for you. Your brother had better HOPE that he didn't commit that fraud and then lie to you and not confess. Nuff said.

Answer 4

If someone is desperate enough to steal money from a family member, then something is probably wrong in some way, shape, form, or fashion. Instead of getting angry about it, forgive your family for what they did to you. Love them anyway. You have probably dissapointed someone in the past. Think about what you would want someone to do if you were your brother or your family member. If it were me, I would want someone to desire to restore the relationship. As far as the money goes, there may be something very wrong. Ask your brother what is going on. Tell him that you know what he did but you forgive him and are only concerned and want to help. It will open him up to possibly tell you the truth about things if he believes that there's no danger of being in serious trouble about it. As far as the issue of your real father, talk to you mother about it. Perhaps there is a reason why she never told you. Talk to her as an adult in kindness and love. Don't be angry with them because in the end that only hurts you. I stress -- forgive them. It is freeing for YOU as well as the other people involved.

Answer 5

This is tragic, and I am so sorry for your loss!
OK, the best thing for you to do is protect yourself from your abusive family. Who else is going to do it?
You may have thought you were close, but apparently he thinks differently.
This is going to call on your strength and love for your self and your family. You are going to need support. I suggest a church where you can make friends who will become your new family.
If this means cutting off all ties, do that. It is actually the loving thing to do, since now you are letting them be dogs to you.
They are not treating you like family, but like a doormat.
It will continue until you stop it. How else will it stop??
Also, you might write them a letter and tell them that you forgive them for their abuse, and hope they get help for their ways. Until then, you will have to include ourself OUT of their circle. Then DO it and don't let guilt or other BS sway you.
Tell them you expect to be paid back the money you are owed and will take no excuses. Send them a bill.
Tell them they are on your permanent *&^ list until you are treated like a respectable, beloved person.
As long as you take it, they will dish it out. it is regrettable that they don't have better morals than that, but they don't.
Face reality and move on with your life. What you wish was true and what is true are sadly 2 different things.
If you wait for them to apologize and make it right, how long do you think you will have to wait? Be pro-active for your own sanity and dignity and don't let it pass.
Good luck, hon, and be strong and show them you have found your backbone. You maybe didn't know BEFORE, but you do now!
PS. It makes absolutely no difference whose daddy is who. They are your FAMILY or not. Maybe you should be grateful you don't have the same daddy. You might be just like them.

Answer 6

Beware the parable of Cain and Abel; if you are as close to your brother as you say, talk to him, and not to the Internet. It is the lack of communication that may have cause this rift, your beginning to drift apart. As your best friend he may feel neglected, and abandoned. As close as you used to be, now is the time to reach out to him and reel him back in; before he stray further away, when he will be lost to you. If you really care as you say you do; get off the Internet and spend some time with your brother, and talk to him about this incident. Don't get anger, listen to him, ask him why; then forgive him. After all he will always be your brother. Credit cards, money, material things are all useless, when you've lost your brother. United you stand, divided you fall; and you are family.
He took from you because he want your attention.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to inform you, your brother is a criminal. He used your charge card and lied to you. This is not something a loved one would do. You state your family has been doing this to you for years. It is time for this to stop!

You need to cut contact with those who have stolen things or lied to you. You can still be a Christian and protect yourself from criminal behaviors. You can love your family and still refuse to be a victim of their behaviors.

You will still need a support group, so become more involved with your church and community. Reaching out to those who need help and appreciate it will help heal the damage your family has caused.

Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 8

use these people as a learning experience.
Pray for them and yourself.
God has a mission for all of us on earth.
It does not seem fair but read good literature that will uplift your spirits.
Read the Book of Job and try to understand that God is working in our lives on a daily bases. Job was a Good man but he had to suffer for a reason..find out the outcome of Job's suffering.
We all suffer from injustice and people who betray us.
Think of Jesus Christ all alone in the time of his Death and no one would come to His aide..What crime or sin did he commit ..yet he took the sins of the world on his shoulders.
God has not forsaken you. You are stronger then you think you are..All Christians are not perfect..just forgiven..
God Bless you and Good luck with your future endeavors

Answer 9

Vanessa, oh Vanessa,God Bless you sweetheart! I am so sorry to hear that your family has hurt you in so many ways. God hears your cries and HE knows your heart. I know this is hurting you extremely inside,but you need to talk to God and tell him that you forgive them,it's going to be hard girl,but you must not let this harden your heart.I was thinking of maybe even talking to each one of them about it,but I do not know your family,only you do.All families are different,but if you choose to talk to them about it,make sure you use "I" statements,not "YOU". Tell them how this made you feel when you found out,how you felt about not having communication with your family.And how you felt about bringing it up to them.Don't be confrontational,just explain and ask questions.Let them answer and don't turn their words around.They are your family!COMMUNICATE with them.It's good to have others to talk to or ask questions to,but they are your family.My brother is not in the best situation right now either,but he will not bring me down with him.You know I bet once you all sit down and talk about it,you will feel so much better.

Answer 10

My brother stole checks from my mom and wrote $20,000 within a year to himself....He lied about it but everybody knew it was him and then we just let it go....But the whole family ignores him most of the time now....When evr he comes over to the house we have to check are belongings to make sure they are still there....It changes your mindset about him...You feel really mad but if he where to die you don't know if you would be happy or mad right...I might feel a little of both.