I was dating someone right when i found out my close family member had stage 4 terminal illness.. i acted real cold towards him and he broke up with me bc he couldn't take it.. i left him alone for a few weeks, but when they told me my aunt had 6 weeks to live i flipped out and sent him these crazy texts asking him for another chance.. then another family member passed suddenly and i flipped again.. basically lost 2 family members within 6 weeks.. i look back now and am so embarrassed.. is this at all normal. just honest answers, not mean ones please
before you guys beat up on him... he didn't know that my aunt was ill when we were dating.. he just thought i was cold for no reason
2007-04-20 07:37:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Maybe you need to work on your communication skills, your boyfriend should be your BFF. When I got news that my grandmother was very ill and didn't have much time, I told my husband and he helped me deal with the grieving process. Pushing people away doesn't help anyone.
2007-04-20 07:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by dimplez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had a LOT happen to you in a very short time. i am so sorry for your losses....I cannot imagine. what I would like to suggest is that you concentrate on yourself right now. If your friend cannot take the bad with the good he is not worth hanging around for. When it comes to grief there is no such thing as an abnormal reaction. There are safe grief support groups out there. That is the key....safe. I live in Austin, Texas and i am going to start going to go to "For the Love of Christi" as i lost my husband one year and ten days ago and this is the worst pain i have ever experienced in my life. At a support meeting you talk with people who are experiencing the same kind of grief you are. Basically friends don't feel comfortable with their own mortality so they want you to go on with living. They don't know whether to talk about your loss or not thinking if they don't mention it that you will forget about it. NOT!!!! Good luck to you with all my heart.
2007-04-20 08:22:09 · answer #2 · answered by Patty T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, everything you did was certainly a normal reaction. You went through an awful lot.
I know you probably realize it now, but in the future it is better to share what it is going on in your life with those around you. You don't have to share intimate details if you do not desire to do so, but at least let co-workers, supervisors, classmates, boyfriends, etc. know a general idea of what is going on. It is easier on you and easier on them that way.
Don't be embarrassed about the way you acted. You can always write him a calm note letting him know what happened to ease his mind and yours.
Good luck to you.
2007-04-20 09:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all have different ways of dealing with tragic circumstances in our lives, some people act cold while others act too clingy. even if you did go a little overboard, it should be understandable because you were just worried and needed some security in your life. give him a little space, dont worry too much-you have a lot to worry about already. give him a week or so and then call him back and tell him you want to apologize if his feelings were hurt, but that you didnt know what to do because you were under so much stress.
not telling you what to do. just my opinion. hope this helps.
2007-04-20 07:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely normal process of grief. If anything happens like this again please communicate it with the other person so they can provide some suuport to you and understand what is going on
2007-04-20 07:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeh everyone copes with grief in different ways.. yours was to be like that with your boyfriend. you should have really told him what was going on and he probably would've been supportive and helped you to get through it.
2007-04-20 07:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by okayyy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋