Is it wrong for me to be wishing my 19 yr old would move out?

Question

She has put me thru he**. I have been in debt paying stuff off for her. She steals my car keys when I am sleeping at nite and drives all over in my car. She has no job, although she got a interview at Walmart yesterday and went for her urine test.
We live in an all white rural area and she brought a black boy home yesterday from Chicago. She says she is dating him.
She steals money out of my money jar in the kitchen. She sleeps til noon and will not get up to answer the phone. She disappears for a week at a time and it used to worry me but not any more and frankly, I am soo totally sick of her. It will be a relief when she gets out. Am I evil or should she just get out?

I am not prejudiced against blacks. I just believe she is trying to get attention because in a 3 county area around here there are probably 5-7 black people and I know 2 of them are little kids here in foster care.
There are no shortages of white males and if she wants attention, she is going to get it. She does things for shock value. It would be like a black man picking up a white girl in a pre dominantly black neighborhood. It would certainly get some attention and probably from the black single women.

I did start stuffing my car keys inside my pillow case at nite and started leaving only pennies in the money jar on the counter. I just hate having to live like I am not at home. I should be able to live normally in peace without her in all my crap.

Answer 1

Well, first hide your car keys, hide the money jar and if she complains, show her the door. Tell her she has to help with the house work and get a job to help with utilities. Tell her to her dismay that this is not the homeless shelter for her to do as she pleases. She probably then will leave on her own.
Good luck.

Answer 2

She acts this way because you permit it. She steals the car at night, so why does she have access to the keys? Get "the club" for the steering wheel and see how far she gets. She steals money from a jar, why is the jar out in the first place? Stop giving her money, and she will have to get a job. She is 19. She either lives by your rules in you house or she lives on her own. I would make that simple and follow through. Give her a certain amount of time to get a job and start to contribute, or she has to live somewhere else. You blame her for all of her bad behavior. You had to have tolerated this for a while. She's acting in the way she was taught worked for her. Apparently this behavior rewards her in some way, or she wouldn't do it. You can't expect a girl that has acted irresponsibly to all of the sudden be responsible, just because she turned 19.

Answer 3

in my view i do no longer think of which you're incorrect for making her bypass away. needless to say, she is grown b/c of her age and much greater so b/c she thinks that she will disrespect a similar lady who gave start to her. If I have been you b/c she is "so grown" i does no longer no longer come to her help each and every time is calls. She is sufficiently previous to stand on her very own 2 feet and alter into an person! additionally if she is abusive no count if bodily or verbally to her siblings she would not would desire to be there besides. My mom can now and lower back be very harsh verbally and he or she is amazingly controlling, yet i could on no account disrespect her in any style i could no longer continually agree together with her, even nevertheless this is a such subject called "appreciate" and regardless my mothers and dads clothed, fed, and positioned a roof over my head while i became youthful.There are mothers and dads who do no longer even care approximately their infants, so I understand how fortunate i'm, and for that even with what she would say to me i'm continuously grateful to them the two. And your daughter needs to realize a similar subject too!

Answer 4

You are not evil, and it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Fact is you need to kick her out of the house, it's the only way for her to grow up and learn responsibility. Currently you are hurting her more than helping her.

Be a good mom and kick her out, be an even better mom and don't let her back in.

Answer 5

1) change the locks on the house next time she runs off. drill screw into any windows that she could get in through.
2) don't carry cash or leave any in the kitchen.
3) report the car stolen when she takes it;
3.1) only put enough gas in it to get to a gas station for when you need to go somewhere
3.2) disconnect the battery when you don't need the car

Answer 6

You are not evil, you just want some well deserved peace.
Give her a certain amount of time to move out. Then if she doesnt move, wait til she leaves, put all her stuff on the lawn and change the locks on the door.

Answer 7

You are not wrong. I don't know why, nowadays, people still live with their parents well into their 20's! You don't have to let her treat you this way. You have done your job.

Do you have a problem with blacks?? I hope you are not insinuating that. It kind of sounded like it.

Answer 8

Have her move in w/her boyfriend... Stealing a car is no joke..what if she ran someone over w/your car or killed someone? Hide your keys under your mattress..that way you'll know if someone is trying to get to them... you gotta watch out for #1... no one else will

Answer 9

This sounds like a familiar story with my niece causing grief.for my sister.Help her find somewhere to rent and then pack up her belongings. when you do find somewhere. for her to live.

Answer 10

Yes, "wishing" is wrong. Doing something about it is the right thing to do.