How do you tactfully word a destination wedding invitation and ask guest to pay for their own accomodations?

Question

I want to invite all of mine and my fiance's friends and family but the reason why we are going away is b/c we want something with no stress and carefree. However if people can come we dont have the funds to pay for plane tickets, or hotel accomodations. I cant figure out how to word the invitations to ask them to come but let them know they have to pay...

Answer 1

I don't think anybody would expect you to pay for accomadations or travel. You wouldn't pay for out of state guests would you?

Only travel you need to pay for is wedding party members.

Here is some advise on dest wedding:
Destination weddings have become very popular in the last few years with good reason. We tend to be very busy people with little time to prepare for a huge traditional wedding. Many destination sites will organize everything for the bride and groom leaving little to do besides to show up and get hitched. This style of wedding has great appeal, but there are some minuses to balance out some of the pluses. So, as you would with any style of wedding, please think it though thoroughly.

And because destination wedding have become so popular so quickly, etiquette rules have had to move quickly to keep up. However, we shouldn’t just throw all of these traditional rules out the cruise ship window. Some rules still apply.

Consider your guests and their ability to pay for their travel and lodging expense.

Look for group rates and suggest hotels for wide range of budgets.

You may have a very small attendance.

Mail those ‘Save the Date’ cards well in advance, so your guest can make travel arrangements.

The bride and groom are responsible for the lodging of their attendants.

Only send invitations to those whom you want to come to your wedding.

You might be surprised at how many actually show up!

Some family members may be very upset that you chose to marry away from home. As with all relationship building and maintaining, an open line of communication is key.

Destination wedding couples can have a reception when they return.

This will help those family members who could not attend the wedding feel as if they are a part of your celebration.
Note: Guests, please mail your gifts to the couple’s home or the home of the bride’s

Answer 2

Sweetie -- you and your fiance are NOT responsible for paying for anyone's airfare or accomodations. You let them know that its a destination wedding (give them enough notice).

Talk to the hotel you will be staying at to see if they can give you a block of rooms at a cheaper rate for your wedding (if you are using the hotel for the wedding).. then you can inform everyone that you can offer them a discounted rate.

I got married in Las Vegas at the Excalibur, and they gave me a block of rooms at a cheaper rate -- we had guests stay all over the strip. And... on a side note, don't let anyone discourage you about guests not showing up - if you give them enough time, they will be there (we had 50).

Answer 3

Congratulations on your engagement... however I agree with other answerers who suggested a very very SMALL destination wedding with a reception when you return.

Inviting everyone you know to a wedding you are sure that most of them can't afford to attend (or if they can, may not choose to spend their vacation money on a time and place selected by you!) sounds like you're just fishing for presents. YOU want to be carefree with no stress, but you are actually transferring the trouble to everyone else!

Answer 4

well what I've seen done is that bride and groom talked to the resort to get the price for the guests accomodations. usually you can get a deal on their stay because its for a wedding. then in with the invite was a little paper they printed up with the cost for the all inclusive package for a couple. people got the point from this that they had to pay, but they were also getting a deal on a vacation too.

Answer 5

I don't think it has to be mentioned. If you were to have a local wedding, would you tell people they had to pay their own way for hotel stays? I believe unless you directly state the trip is on you, people understand it isn't.

We are having one 2/23, and we already approached those we plan to pay for and told them we would be covering the costs. The invitations will make no mention of them having to pay their own way.

Be prepared that many will be unable to attend due to cost, fear of travel, etc. If there is someone you consider their attendance a must, be prepared to pay for them if they cannot pay for themselves. Also, remember, you are already asking alot of people to participate in your destination wedding-make sure they know how much you appreciate their being there. Your invites should def include travel info, and possibly info for a travel agent, who can make the arrangements for them, as well as info on accomdations, car rentals, flights, etc...a nice gift like a basket in the room would also be appropriate--wine and fruit...

Answer 6

Congratulations! I hope you keep the idea on having your wedding somewhere else, it's your day and you dont have to backed up on anything just because others cant make it. As long as all your close relatives, friends, etc. are present should be enough. I suggest you give everybody you want to invite the invitation and be specific on what the plans are and preferably give them out as soon as you possible so they can make reservations in advance and get better prices.
Good luck and hope everybody can make it!!!!

Answer 7

When we had our destination wedding, we only had our parents and siblings there. It was done that way to be stressless and carefree. We sent out an announcement that we had been married and we were having a reception and they were invited. We had a wedding cake and such... we also showed our wedding video in the background so any that wanted to watch could. Our pictures were the centerpieces... everyone loved it.

Answer 8

I was in a destination wedding a few years ago and am going to one next month. No one ever paid for me, even when I was in the bridal party. My friend just asked me if I would be in it. I bought ticket, dress, and made my own hotel reservations separately-hers was in the Bellagio, but I stayed somewhere a little cheaper.

The invitation we just got for the wedding next month just listed date, time, and location. In fact, my boyfriend is in the wedding next month and his friend sent him the hotel list even before the actual invitations went out. The email sent something like-"the hotel gets booked quickly at this time of year, so you may want to reserve your room early." This is probably not proper etiquette, but he was giving him a heads up.

Answer 9

"We would be honored by your presence at our wedding on______ in_______. We realize that expense may be an issue however we have group rates available at ______ hotel for $______. " You will want to find a hotel at the destination of your choice. They all offer group rates so get a block of rooms reserved. By telling your guests that there are special rates for them to come, you are telling them that you had them in mind, and you are telling them that they will pay for it. I would not put this on the invitation itself. Your wedding invitations should look like regular invitations. This would be an insert that you put in by choosing nice paper to match your invitations. Hope this helps.

Answer 10

ok i had same issues and my mom came up with a great wording.

Announcing our wedding plans,

Jennifer
&
Jason
would like to announce their plan to marry
on saturday June 2, 2007 at 8 pm
at the Little chapel of the flowers in Las Vegas, NV.

we welcome your attendance at this joyous event.


that's the wording we used (well the basics of it). i wouldn't put anything about paying their own way because that's not really polite. i think the wording i used gave people the hint but if anyone had any questions they can just call.