I have been friends with this guy for going on six months. We use the title "best friends" because neither one of us are ready for a relationship, but we have been physical with eachother (no sex, just making out). But the friendship aspect is stronger because it is long distance (he lives in VA I live in MD). I have caught feelings for him but haven't really expressed them. I told him the other night that we should be just friends and nothing more because we're not married and after we promised eachother that we would stop making out, he told me he loves me. Then he started telling how great he thinks I am and stuff like that. I dont know wether to believe it or not. I guess because I never had a guy love me before, we're only 22. Should I question his motives or is it highly likely that he really loves me? I wanna believe that he does because he has said it before in a more casual way and because he always tells me how great he thinks I am, but this time it was more formal.
2007-04-20 06:51:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you tell him that you only want to be friends (and he really does believe you), that will be the end of your friendship. He doesn't want to be your friend, he wants to be your boyfriend. He isn't going to settle on something much less, he would rather move on and find someone to be with. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
2007-04-20 06:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People think that apprehension when it comes to their feelings is a safer way to conduct themselves, but unfortunately it ends up being the enemy of love more times than not... Your feelings for each other are there, so why fight them? I cannot promise that things are going to work out or not, because the two of you may not be right for each other. However, without taking a chance on your feelings, how are you ever going to know?
We all have relationship failures! They are what teaches us about what we truly want from the partner that we finally do end up with... they are meant to teach us, and are not evil! Pain and sorrow are a part of life, just as happiness and bliss are... and both of them can teach you things about yourself that you never knew before!
Give your feelings a chance, and find out where they take you. If you don't, you will always be wondering and doubting whether or not you made the right choice, instead of knowing that you did or didn't...
2007-04-22 12:44:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mark V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love takes more than a handful of months. If you think there is something to this relationship I'd say keep it up for at least a year, maybe a little more given the distance between you. In that time you can see what kind of person he is trough his actions. It takes time, don't rush or think that his words must be proven right away. That's not an easy or fun answer, but it's true.
2007-04-20 13:59:22 · answer #3 · answered by bneffer2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl why are you stressing ?? the man said he loves you. clearly he does not want to be just friends. instead of asking all these questions call him and then tell him that you are ready to be his girlfriend once and for all and not this friend thing that you two are. how ever if you have stronger feelings for him as just a friend then its possible that you are feeling unsure of him because you are not ready to make such a commitment when the butterflies are not there ( if you know what i mean) you seem to share a good bond, and complicating it with love and all this if you deep down dont feel the same will only prolong things. look into your heart - if it tells you to go for it then do - but if you have doubts then reinstate your previous statement of being friends and find a man close by to experience life with out him as a potential boyfriend.
2007-04-20 14:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by candystore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great to fall in love with your best friend, but only if you both feel that way. How do you feel? In love? Just want to explore the relationship more by taking it to another level---and I don't mean just start having sex--? What would you like to do??? I think maybe he means it. If you care, why not start dating or looking at each other as a boyfriend/girlfriend thing instead of just best friends. Good luck!
2007-04-20 13:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by dana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok from personal expierence take my advice. even if he does love you it is so NOT worth throwing away a great friendship. i was best friends with my ex for four years. we had made out before but it had never gone any further. one day we both confessed how much we really cared about each other. we started dating and it was really great at first. as time passed i realized that i loved him so much, but as a best friend. we broke up and now arent even friends...i havent talked to him in three months, the longest ive ever gone since i met him. it was my biggest regret and i miss my friend more than anything else. my advice is stop while your ahead and even if he does truely love you as he says it is not worth ruining something great. good luck!
2007-04-20 14:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by princess113chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be pretty tough. I think that you should make sure to guard your heart so you don't get hurt. But other than that if he really is your friend he would not lie to you about something like this. If you feel like you can trust him then go ahead and jump in. If not then I am sure you will find another guy that you can share your heart with.
2007-04-20 13:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by HannahBanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he could just be saying that in order to get back what he can't have, which is how most guys generally are, but if you feel he's being genuine about his feelings then I would meet him the rest of the way and put yourself out there as well, if you feel that way too, and see what happens.
2007-04-20 13:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by c_fubu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive gotta good answer ive had that happen to me where u fall for the guy who u think is nice just wants u around and nothing else , but ill tell u what my guy friends told me , hes just trying to get in ur panties, nothing else trust me . try him out for another 6 months i bet hell start avoiding u not to hurt ur feelings but if uve never bin in a intimate realtionship before take the advice its free
2007-04-20 13:59:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has never given you reason to question his motives why should you do so??? if you like him like that you should tell him and if you don't you should also tell him don't let fear of a bad outcome affect your decission if you think that he is worth the risk take it ...if you have known him for six months you should know by now whether or not you can just tell him about your fears or not....do that and see what he says good luck!
2007-04-20 13:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by arlene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋