When going on a trip, how old should your kids be to leave them behind?

Question

My bro in law and his girlfriend are planning a trip. She has a 2 yr old daughter. She not planning on taking her with them. They will be gone a week. She once said when she turns 1 she could go on trips without her. I know its her choice but I could never do that to my children. We went on a ski trip a few months back and they went with us, we took our kids, she left hers, we were gone for 6 days. We had just as much fun with them as we could've without. I think 1 or 2 days would be okay but a week? The girlfriend is 20 yrs old and wants to party so she chooses to leave the lil one behind so she can. I was just wondering, on average, how young is too young to go on a trip without? She leaves her all the time to do things she wants and I know a break is much needed now and then, but when is it too much? I know its her choice so please don't lecture me on the none of my business, I know that already its just strange to me and could never leave my 2 yr old and 9 mo old behind that long.

You are missing the main question e_imommy. I pointed out that I know its her decision so no one would lecture but if you saw how the little one reacts when her mom comes home, she acts like she doesn't know her. The 20 yr old parties too much and her daughter is starting to see it. I'm sorry I left that out.

People, I don't mean alone "By herself" please have more common sense than that, but leaving to party or along trips is "alone" enough without mommy being there.

Answer 1

2

The reason is that prior to age two the child still believes that when you walk out the room you are always going to come back. It is called object permanence. It is part of child development. At two you begin to develop the idea that the world does not center around you alone and that things in fact do change. Leaving a child for an extended period of time before this age may cause problems of abandonment issues somewhere down the line. I have known mothers who have done this and most of their children did in fact develop such issues later on.

Answer 2

I think that everyone has their own feelings about the subject. Personally, I would not feel comfortable with leaving my kids behind until they were 16 and up. I have a five year old, an 18 month old and two step kids 12 & 10 and I had to drive the step kids back to Arkansas after their spring break here. I had to do this alone since my husband had to work. I chose to take all 4 of them on the 16 hr drive b/c I didn't want to leave them behind. I've only left my five year old twice...once was when I was in the hospital for 5 days after an emergency C-section to have his baby brother and the other was an over night trip to tunica which I had never been too and I cried the entire trip there because I hated that I had left my baby so I didn't really even get to enjoy it. He was 2 at the time and we weren't even gone for a full 24 hours.

Answer 3

my husband and I have done a weekend trip here and there since my son was about 2 months old. And eh is 3 years old now. We just leave him and my 2 year old daughter with my mom and they stay at my house and continue with normal everyday activities.Now I don't plan on leaving my kids for a long period of time until they are alot older. Because I am planning a 39 day cruise around south america in about 6 or 7 years and my kids will be 9 and 10 and they will be staying with my mom at her house over the summer when my husband and I do that. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it not every other month or something and as long as the child is left with someone who will take very good care of the child.

Answer 4

I personally have left my child when he was one with my husband while I left for a long weekend. And truth be told I partied my butt off. It's something I do once a year...From the story you tell your friend does this often. I personally think that's a bit much..but think about this...Have you ever thought about why your friend does this? Maybe motherhood is really overwhelming to her...maybe being 20 years old with a child while all her friends are still out partying and having fun is hard on her...maybe she doesn't realize what kind of an effect it could have on her child..maybe she needs a good friend like you to reach out and ask her if she needs some help getting into the swing of being a mom. Being a mother is really tough. It's a lot tougher when people judge you for the things you do. We all do things differently and we all need some help from time to time. Sit your friend down, ask her how she is doing...you might be surprised at her answer.

Answer 5

I thinks never leave your kids for you to have fun unless your going to celebrate your 10th anniversary and going in your second honeymoon maybe it will be a good excuse to leave the kids with grandma for 1 week, but other than that I don't think so unless it is necessary and an emergency 2 or 3 day max... But if not then why having kids if you are not going to spent time with them or have fun too ... Like my self I have a 6yr, 2yr and a 3 month we are planning a trip to Disney next year by that time my little one will be 1 but we still are going to go and maybe in 5 more yrs we will go again so this time the little can enjoy more along with her big brother and sister but ALL together and this vacation time we have planned 2 trips on in Ixtapa Mexico and one in San Antonio TX.... and we are taking our kids and so as my brother in-law he has 3 kids between 7and 2 yrs.... SO HAVE FUN WITH KIDS and enjoy them as much as possible because as soon as they grow up they will be having trips alone with friends .....

Answer 6

The only time that I left my child behind on a trip, was for my honeymoon. My daughter was 2 1/2 and stayed with mamow and she had a blast at home, we left money for grandma to take her places around home, and I made sure we brought lots of presents back for her.

I have left my 2 daughters with mamow to go away for a weekend, but that is the most I have ever left them. They are
ages 6yrs and 21 months. They stay with mamow on the weekends most of the time anyway, so us sneaking away for a day or two doesn't bother them.

Answer 7

I feel the same way, take the kids, being together is great, your bro-in-law girls is too young to have kids in the first place or at least too selfish and immature, and by alone do you mean alone alone or like with a baby sitter? I hope you mean with a sitter or another family member

Answer 8

I will not say that it is none of your business because obviously it is...Therefore, I'll offer this advise.

This young lady is 20 years old and without knowing too much about the situation, it sounds as if she really wasn't ready for the responsibility of being a mother. Although you were ready, it's not right to judge this girl based on your preferences of being a good mom. In her view, she may be doing what was done to her or doing the best that she can do. It's not right for your to compare your parenting to what she does.

The main concern for this child is her welfare. IF she's being neglected, abused, etc...If you are a part of the little girls life, do the best that you can in her life.

Answer 9

Gotcha Lady. She seems to be a selfish, self serving person. She could bring her little one along and have some fun with her. The only way kids learn is if we teach them.

Answer 10

you kind of answered this one yourself...it really isn't up to you. but my opinion is that 1 week is slightly long...but if they're staying with loving people or grandparents than look on the bright side of the situation. maybe they receive more attention in the week the mothers gone.