PLEASE only mature advice, no stupid answers!! If you don't have something good or nice to say, DON'T answer!
ps. I am 25 he is 29 and we both have been engaged in the past and obviously they didn't work out. Now we found each other and are in love.....so now what? I want the whole marriage and family situation sooooooooo bad!
2007-04-20 04:23:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok another ps....we have been together for almost 7 months, and we have talked about our future, but it's just not going as quickly as i want and i dont wanna get hurt!!
2007-04-20 05:05:57 · update #1
I just wanted to add that all of the answers I"ve gotten so far have been great, I left out a lot of details about my relationship with my boyfriend. We are both headed towards our careers, he DOES want kids and DOES want to get married, eventually is his key word. I just want to make sure he is worth waiting for! I'm not being selfish, I'm looking out for myself cuz I've been very hurt in the past. We are both over our pasts and it was years ago, we aren't rebounds! I appreciate all the answers, and pretty much everyone has the same thing to say so I guess i'll just let it take it's course.
2007-04-20 05:11:58 · update #2
Well, here's some advice that I myself learned recently. Imagine yourself as an old woman in a rocking chair. Who is sitting next to you? Is this the person who you really want to be with? Don't imagine how you feel right now about this person, imagine how you will feel in the future and thing also about the past and those problems that you had before....Have you overcome them? Do you think he has overcome them? Now think about what he wants and what you want, things that will affect your marriage. You think you want to have kids and that's great, but does he? And as for both your jobs, what kind of jobs or careers do you have? Will it interfere with the marriage? These are all things you must think through. And most of all, as he pops the question, think it good and don't rush to answer because of the puppy look in his eyes he is giving you. Think about these questions. Good luck!
2007-04-20 04:31:44 · answer #1 · answered by Ask Angie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you were really ready for it, you'd consider his feelings as well, but you don't see that. You only see that YOU want get married and YOU want marriage and a family and YOU want it "sooooooooo bad" and you don't even mention if that's what he wants or if you've even bothered discussing it with him to find out. The fact that you can't even be bothered to find out what he thinks of the situation is very telling of the kind of wife you'd be.
Marriage is for two people who care more about each other than themselves. That is true love and you don't have it. I'm not saying you'll never have it, but you don't right now and you're not ready to be married. Someone who's had a failed engagement in the past should be able to look past their own feelings and see that.
Sorry if this isn't "something good or nice" but its the truth and you need to hear it. Whether or not you listen is up to you.
2007-04-20 04:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Takfam 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you both on the rebound? Meaning if you or him had just come out of the failed relationship. I know the both of you may want to make up for lost time but rushing in may not be the best course of action right now. Take your time as marriage is a lifetime commitment. Why dont you two go steady for about a year or so (without living with each other) then ask yourself the same question. Don't force the issue as it will come naturally.
2007-04-20 04:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by ★Spotter★ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think thats every woman's dream, but some Men have more maturing to do. And some men recognize that and they want to change their behavior before they get married. (Some have to get all their cheating out the way) But if you've broken up before, I wouldn't rush into marriage so quickly. Because you two would have to learn eachother all over again. And be sure this time if this person is fit for you. It takes a long time to get to know someone though. I wouldn't rush into. Maybe he wants to marry you, but most men don't like to rush into marriage. Give him some time, he will come around. And if he is the first to bring it up, then thats a sign. My boyfriend called me his future wife by accident...I wanted to cry. He told someone else that in a deep conversation, and was shocked he said it. But I can tell he wants that, he is very passionate about me. And he is a very good father to his kids and very good with my kids aswell. It doesn't matter if he wants to marry me, it matters how he is treating me.
Because some men will marry you just to shut you up, or so no one else can have you. You don't want that, you want someone who truly loves you. And if that means you have to wait, than wait. Marriage should not be rushed..especially after a fresh break up! Enjoy Life!!!
I totally agree with "Ask Angie" and "Takfam"..listen to them very good advice
I'm also your age and my boyfriend is 29, we been together a year now and we both talked about marriage and decided to wait until we both had a good income, and we both were satisfied with ourselves first. Lord knows he has so much to work on. I wouldn't say your waisting your time, 7 months you really don't know him. You would only be waisting your time if he is no good to you. If he is cheating, and disrespectful I would give up all hope on married life with him. Because he would only marry you out of pity, and thats not cool. Just take it slow by getting to know him more and more each day. I learn something diffrent about my partner everyday. You will have all you want, but make sure its right. You need to be with someone who makes Str8 A's (if you know what I mean) not someone who keeps making D's and F's. You can deal with a B or a C, because that means he is trying. But you just let things flow for now. Pray on it, thats what I do. It will get revealed to you, don't ever marry cause your desperate. Thats how your marriage falls apart, because your so in love you are overlooking the red flags. Just becareful!!!
2007-04-20 04:39:50 · answer #4 · answered by SexyBlackFasho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to talk to your boyfriend. When you two are sitting down eating dinner/supper/lunch just go, honey you know that I love you and I would like to know where you see us in the next couple of years. Just ask for an honest answer. If you guys have been dating for a while I think that you deserve to know what his intentions are towards you and the relationship. Just ask him what he wants in his life (as far as the relationship) thing goes.
Good Luck! Remember that no matter what the outcome is, it is that way for a reason. Let God and Let God.
2007-04-20 04:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by Case 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you guys are ate a mature age so you should be able to talk about it. Just ask him something like " Where do you see us in the next year or two" Just kinda hint around and see what he says. He might be thinking the same thing as you he just might be afraid to say it. So just talk to him about it. Tell him you wanna be with only him forver.....only say things you mean though....Good Luck. Hope it works out for you : )
2007-04-20 04:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by Josh 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should let time tell what is in the future for your relationship and don't ever rush anything...if it is meant to be, then it will be! Don't worry about it and love each other like never before...maybe it will happen for you when the time is right...don't stress and girl just enjoy the happiness because you are so lucky to love and be loved...don't worry about it!
2007-04-20 04:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by hottie742 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did not say how long you have been dating. You should not get engaged until you have been dating at least a year.
If he wants to marry you someday he will say it. If not then it is not a match, you don't want the same thing. If you have been dating for at least a year and you don't know the answer, that is your answer.
2007-04-20 04:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by I love watching cars turn left 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you've both been engaged in the past may be what's leading him to take it slowly and deliberately.
I believe that relationships cannot stagnate. They MUST move in one direction or the other. They either move towards an eventual marriage, or they move towards a breakup.
Which are you moving towards? I think you can answer your own question.
Good luck!
2007-04-20 04:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by Scotty Doesnt Know 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It takes guys longer than girls and it's never wise to press the issue. Tell him how much you love him and will marry him in a heartbeat, just so that he will know where you stand. Love hard and live long. If he's the ONE you will have him.
2007-04-20 06:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋