How come when a line is crossed in a relationship you cannot ever go back to how things were? what changes? and why would it repeat or be easier to do a second time?
Iam talking about abuse: verbal, physical and mental.
once someone you love insults you or hits you or plays head games, if you forgive them they only do it again.
why is that? is it becuase it is no longer taboo?
2007-04-20 03:49:56 · 11 answers · asked by stopit! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People who abuse do not see the person they abuse as the victims. They see themselves as the victim in the abuse. She or he made me do it. In many times, they will apologize for the abuse, but they will still see themselves as the victim. With their mind not thinking properly and a short temper, the abuse usually will accelerate in frequency and intensity. Hopefully, I have taught my daughter not to accept verbal or physical abuse. If it happens, she is to leave him and not return with no second chances.
2007-04-20 04:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is a good thing - and really needs to be done - but on the other hand it can also be viewed as acceptance to the reason for forgiveness. People who have an abusive nature are at some point truly sorry for the abuse they have inflicted - but this doesn't stop them from being abusive. When they say they are sorry and ask for forgiveness they are (probably subconsciously) looking for the stage to be set up again. It's always easier to abuse the same subject over and over again. So, yes, offer forgiveness then turn and walk away and don't look back!
2007-04-20 04:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by cleesurrey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because any kind of abusive takes away positive feelings for that other person. If you really love someone and they tell you you're stupid (verbal abuse) mentally abusive you ("you'll never get far") or whatever, that breeds anger in you and changes your mind about the disposition of that person. Things like that generally aren't forgiven. If they are, they aren't forgotten. Most people who are like that either hate themselves and want to bring misery to others; hence, 'misery loves company", or they're insecure and have low self esteem. Either way, yes, once you cross that line, there's no going back.
2007-04-20 03:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a certain line (whatever that line is) is crossed, a certain amout of trust is lost in the relationship. Without this trust, nothing can ever be the same.
Look at it this way: If your best friend came over to your house and you left him there while you ran to the store, and he robbed you blind, would he still be your best friend?
Same thing. A line was crossed and your friendship will never be the same.
2007-04-20 03:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-28 13:19:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont' even know if i'm gonna answer this correctly, so if i don't i'm sorry i wasted your time...
okay what i think is, one person might love more then the other...
he cheats, she forgives.. he feels he almost got away with it, and he was forgiven, so why not do it again, she forgave me once and this time she might not even know, so he cheats again..
love is blind and doesn't like to hurt..
and once someone hurts you its like a permanent scar, like a scar that sits on the heart and sometimes leaks.. it's something you'll always feel, its something that can always be reopened, it makes you worry and hurt.. things like that are hard not to see, exspecially when it's on yourself, so things that are that bad it's hard to forget they happen.. cut's might heal, but scars don't fade, and either does some peoples love for one another.....
???
2007-04-20 04:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by ~broken~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it degraded you so much that you may never get over it. It has been 10 years divorced from my ex and i still remember the things he done! I got over it to a point but inside it still hurts!
2007-04-20 03:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by Mellycat123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because someone that phyically, verbally, mentally abuses you will continue to do so.
It will not change because he/she says sorry. In fact it will get worse.
Get out while you can.
2007-04-20 03:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by linda h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you want to believe the person will never do it again. Now that it's out of their system it will be ok...It happened to my mom...she keeps going back because "he'll change", he won't
2007-04-20 03:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because your forgiveness makes them think that it is ok even tho its not and if they show remorse then they think they should be forgiven, if they do it once tho they will do it again i dont care what they say or who they are
2007-04-20 03:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by helpfull2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋