Guys can you help? Ladies have you experienced this as well?

Question

Ok so my BF and I have been together now for 6 months and things are alright. The thing that is the problem though as I have had seen this and gone throught it in the past is, In the beginging and wooing stages of my relationships the guy is wonderful, giving, taking me out, little nice things all the way. However once they get comfortable and know that I am so for them and in love with them all that stops? What is the deal ? I know this is concidered the "honeymoon" stage where life is grand and your on cloud nine. I just dont get it though. I am a giver and love to do so all the time weather it is gifts, or tokens of affection. I just tend to get burnt and do not recieve as much as I give nor even get a little back in return. I fell give and take is important. Equality. SO how do I let my BF know this with out blowing his ego or making him think he has to do as much as I do. AND can you explain why you guys tend to do this the slacking off bit? Mature anwsers Please Thank you.

Ok so just a little additionl info. I am not trying to but ALL guys in this category at all, I am pretty much for the most part a up beat and fun girl to be with and we have fun a lot together.. What I was looking for is an explination as to why things have changed? When he and I first started going together. He took me out not all the time but on occasion, did sweet little things for me.. ect. and I ALWAYS told him I loved what he did for me and that I like it when he is thoughful and caring and that it is really sweet when he thinks of me like that. It doesnt have to be a "physical gift" really just the things that I tell him I like and ask him to not ever stop doing, he is not doing them as he use to. I always do and keep in mind what he likes and do those things for him as much as possible and activly work to keep it exciting as possible. I am just frustrated that I do get the same in return even when I tell him and talk with him about it. I feel it should be equal. Am I wrong?

Answer 1

In the beginning stages of a relationship, this brain is producing chemicals that cause the feelings that you have. Over time, as with a chemical introduced in to the body, you get used to the level and things level off. It doesn't mean that he feels any less of you, it just the chemicals and his body getting used to the level.
My advice to you would be to be yourself and keep "dating" him and keep fun and laughter a part of your relationship.

Even if you aren't even thinking about marriage, here is a website that gives answers for relationships.

www.marriagebuilders.com

Answer 2

In my experience It's always been at the start of the relationship u take the girl places and do things and she appreciates it after a while she expects it then she demands it and more and on her terms .
Wait I do these thing because of my affection for her and I have fun doing it with her .The actions r like presents there given as "special gifts" they don't come on demand and the part women tend to forget is it usually costs a lot of coin.It has to be afforded and I have never in my life ever ended a relation where the account balance has ever been close usually I've spent 10's of thousands and shes made me dinner a couple of time. Women put way too much value on there sex acts and they are the ones getting the good side of that deal any way.
I give it to you add up the expences cost of dinner out breaky flowers trips auto expences the theater tickets the new shoes the new dress and after doing an account balance r u really doing more for him.
If u r great and Wow and r u interested in a change because I'd kill for more than a video and her making dinner as a payback for my $400 theatre tickets the $120 dinner $40 flowers and the cash u spent and the club dancing afterward

Answer 3

Let me tell you a secret, guys really don't like doing any of thoe things. Many guys feel that they need to do these things in the beginning because society expects them to, and because they feel they need to keep it up until the new relationship is solidified. After that, they feel they can scale it back and be themselves. It has nothing to do with you personally, and has nothing to do with how they feel about you.

Conversely, a lot of women will do the same thing, only with sex. It is quite common for a woman to be really wild in the sack or be insatiable at the beginning of a relationship, and then scale things back and let her appearance go when the relationship becomes more stable. It happens all the time.

Answer 4

Well, everyone goes through the "wooing" stages, and then yes, the honemoon stage ends. However, if he's a gentleman and is mature, he won't completely "stop" being affectionate and lose interest in doing things with you. I'm in a wonderful relationship and we're just now past the honeymoon stage, and really, nothing has changed. He and I aren't "trying" to get our attention, it's one of things now that "it's a given" and that we're a team, we don't have to "build" it because it's been built. =) I think it really depends on the person and their personality etc.

Answer 5

First, please don't assume that this guy is like the "others". You said yourself that things are still "alright". Maybe (and I'm not trying to be critical of you) your expectations are too high. No one can give gifts every day. And honestly, I think it's harder for guys to think of gifts for their women anyway. If you are going into a relationship with high expectations from your man, and low expectations of how long you will last, you are dooming yourself from the get-go. So, as long as you guys are smiling, happy, and in love, that's all you really need.

Answer 6

I totally agree. After almost 2 yrs i feel the same exact way, after 6 months is a little too soon to be accting like this though. They know that they have you and that your hooked so they don't need to take you out, or care about the little things.Even conversation seems to slow down alot. Guys don't understand we like to be loved and feel needed. Im sure things will work out fine just tell him how u feel and hopefully he'll work on it.

Answer 7

we tend to do that because all men with a certain amount of intelligence will know that at the beginning a man doesn't quite know how safe he is,so we spend that time assuring the women that there is that potential that she might be looking for.....because we know women take general int rest out of natural instinct...we get lazy because it's so hard keeping it going lol ever thought we might need a break lol.......we are at best when we are content with a women.....'giving things to someone doesn't always necessary mean they will always get more' so enjoy relationship because that will allow you to notice the other things that he does that makes you smile. good luck

Answer 8

WOW....wud u believe this..i was just gonna ask this same very question. this really sux. im not generalizing but i came across quite a few women who are goin thru the same phase....SO IM NOT ALONE !!! i dunno why they do tht but i guess its coz they feel mentally eased out after having wht they wanted. even though they do still care but they seem tend to take d relationship for granted since they feel relaxed mentally and know tht u feel d same love as they do. WELL I HOPE SOME DAY SOMEHOW ...THEY GET SOME GOOD SENSE KNOCKED INTO THEM AND SEE THT ITS IMPORTANT TO MAKE A WOMAN FEEL LOVED AND CARED FOR AT EVERY STAGES OF LIFE. or they r only heading for alot of nagging and cribbing ahead for themselves.

Answer 9

In my case I don't do much romantic stuff any more cause my girlfriend is also b*tching about some thing I did wrong. Seems like I can't do much right, and I don't get back what I give. I can't speak for a ll guys though.

Answer 10

"AND can you explain why you guys tend to do this the slacking off bit? Mature anwsers Please Thank you."

Please don't generalize like this. And besides, it's not just some guys who "slack off", some women do it, too. The important thing is to not make yourself sound stupid because you generalize.
I'm a guy in a 2 year relationship, and I'm still giving it my all.