every time my daughter turns around she is yelling take care of the kids.as if we have nothing else to do.let me explain before getting upset and thinking were horrible uncaring grand parents.it is 3 little boys,ages are 2,1 and newborn.i cannot lift on them due to health problems.be4sides way i see it,they need to learn to handle all 3 of them at once no matter what they do.our parents did it and did fine.why cant they.,please help how do we handle the situation.if we say no .our daughter starts yelling and screaming threatening to leave them with a total stranger.i have told her no many times but its only getting worse.for those that will have smart remarks.we love them alot but are not permanent built in sitters we have lives to
2007-04-20 02:38:53 · 10 answers · asked by mamanana9 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not a grandparent of course, but my mom is about to be for the first time. I'm 5 months pregnant, baby boy. I wouldn't put that responsibility on my mother. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to your daughter. She was your responsibility when she was young, now she has 3 children she should be responsible for. Grandparents aren't daycare centers. I'm sure that there are things you want to do, go out to the mall, hang out with some of your girlfriends. You should be able to. Your job is done, you've raised your child, and don't need to be raising anyone elses. It's time for you to relax, enjoy your grandchildren, spoil them, and send them back to mama, lol. Just have a heart to heart with her. Tell her exactly how you feel. I'm sure she'll understand, and if not, she'll get over. Enjoy yourself!
2007-04-20 03:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Stink Muffin's Mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can solve this problem. The "problem" is enabling. Your daughter cannot "force" you to watch the kids. She is now trying to make you feel guilty of something happening by leaving the children with "strangers". You did not give her age but I think she is probably too young to cope with responsibility. Where is her husband during all this? Why does she think a total stranger is going to watch the kids? (is paying someone to watch them a problem?) I would hand her the phone book the next time she threatens this. Might help if the number to Childrens Services was written on the cover in big black numbers.
2007-04-20 03:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by sensible_man 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My sister in law does this to my in laws all the time, she uses her daughter as a pawn. She tells them that they will never see their grandchild again if they don`t babysit or take her overnight. First of all they are in their 70`s and the wife is mentally handicapped, ( she has a very low IQ), they are not capable of looking after the child alone. But she insists!! Some people are not meant to be parents, ( they can`t cope). Maybe you need to help your daughter make proper arraingements, ( daycare, or a sitter). But you need to tell her firmly that you are not interested in being a "second mommy", to your grandkids.. She has to be told !!
2007-04-20 03:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by lost2day 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand. I am of the total opposite opinion. I had children to take care of them, love them, spend time with them and share experiences with them. I have left them with Granny for a max of 2 hours a couple of times but wouldn't do it regularly and certainly wouldn't do what your daughter (sorry to say) does. Not sure how you should deal with it though, carefully I guess. If she's not interested in looking after them then maybe she needs to learn the hard way (as long as the kids would be OK) or maybe it's time for a proper chat with her and then see how you go. You don't really want to involve the Dr or Social Svs though...good luck.
2007-04-20 02:49:06 · answer #4 · answered by aza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a grandparent also. You need to let her take the kids to a total stranger! They are HER responsibility!! WHAT EVER HAPPENS TO THOSE KIDS WILL BE ON HER!!! I hope she reads this! She sounds very irresponsible and manipulative. I love my grandson to pieces, but no one is gonna tell me such a thing without getting what for! You have done your job, raised your children, and your life is your own! You deserve peace and rest, and the time to take care of yourself. Be firm! And if you have to, call CPS! You have rights too!
2007-04-20 02:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my my my....talk about taking advantage of the grandparents....time for your daughter to find daycare for her little ones and see what the real world is about...YOU HAVE TO SAY NO....and if she starts yelling and screaming well then hang up the phone or ask her to leave.....sounds like your daughter was ready to have sex, but not ready for the responsibility of being a parent......you and your husband already raised children of your own....it is time now for you to be grandparents......if your daughter is ignorant to your medical conditions, then who is she thinking of first....certainly not you.....there is plenty of daycares out there that are safe....maybe you can find one and then when she starts threatening you with "leaving them with a stranger", give her the info that you found and say good luck.....
2007-04-20 02:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by teddybears 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are the illegals going to do while the money runs out? while centers as quickly as loose will now cost ?Illegals call for lots from united statesa. yet in no way call for lots from Mexico even while they're right here their satisfaction of Mexico is in no way far
2016-11-26 00:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's popping out a kid a year, you're going to have your hands full. She needs to be more responsible. Too many grandparents are raising their grandchildren these days.
2007-04-20 02:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well guess what i am a grandparent and i dont' do itperiod. i have told them on no uncertain terms i do not baby sit and i can spoil but i will not be ordered to do nothing they are yours to be raised and we get along fine that is what you do. period let them have the law laid down and stick to it.
2007-04-23 17:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need no excuse for choosing no to babysit. If your daughter yells and screams, she doesn't deserve your help.
Besides, yo shuldn;t be around these children; you are illiterate and were obviously a bad parent yourself, having raised such a monsterous daughter. Why lt you ruin a new generaton?
2007-04-20 02:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by svetlana 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋