My 14 yo son has extremely poor vision, with nystagmus (involuntary movement of the eye from side to side). He is legally blind without his glasses, and nearly so even WITH his glasses. Took him for regular eye exam yesterday. I asked the doc privately if my son would ever be able to drive, as he is looking forward to taking driver's ed next year in high school. Doc said he would never be able to drive with the vision he now has. Dr. also told me there is no surgery that can correct his vision problems.
At his age, he is wanting to be more and more independent, but his disabilities hinder him a great deal. I know I probably need to get him into therapy. I am taking him next week for mental health evaluation referral.
How do I break this to my son, the fact that he may never drive? He will be heartbroken. He already has some other health problems, is very small for his age, and gets teased at school a lot. Please help me figure this out.
2007-04-20 01:58:57 · 17 answers · asked by ~RedBird~ 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We are already seeing an excellent pediatric opthamologist. Have been for the last 11 years.
2007-04-20 02:13:32 · update #1
Just tell him straight up. The sooner, the better.
2007-04-20 02:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
Well...regardless of how, you better do it soon so that way you're not springing it on him at his 16th birthday! If you are interested in taking him for a mental health evaluation you may also want to raise this concern with the professional at that time to see how best to drop it on him. And maybe sometime in the future, there will be some sort of surgery available to correct his vision.
2007-04-20 02:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you take him to an Ophthalmologist or an Optometrist? I would seek another opinion about whether or not his vision problems can be corrected by surgery--would they at least be improved? He may be able to have his vision improve, and wear corrective lenses at the same time. I have two relatives that had this done, and still wear corrective lenses (one wears a contact and corrective lenses...after he had surgery).
You will have to be honest and up front...he will take it better than you think....and you should not be 'sad' when you tell him...more of 'matter of fact.' Life isn't fair.
You can also guide him and focus on what he can do...what he is good at. This will benefit him later on and throughout his life. Good luck!!
2007-04-20 02:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know at this point of time the last thing on you mind must be how to break the news that your son will never be able to drive. You must remember that, that statement/fact could be a binding factor in his life. What I can say for certain and that is "what is impossible for man (Dr) is possible with God" In the meantime enjoy your son and know, that God is still in control and even are aware of the entire situation. Trust in God and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your path.
God Bless and take care for one day you will look back and say to yourself "look what the Lord had done"
2007-04-20 02:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by INCOGNITO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy him a golf cart. It's not a lasting solution, but ....
when you talk to him tell him to be in the Air Force and acually fly a plane you have to have 20/20 vision, and alot of people were disapointed over that, but it is what it is.
It is the same with a car, if you dont have perfect vision with glasses then they wont let you drive.
On the other hand, let me show you some thing.........
then give him the keys to his Golf Cart. he wont need a lic. to drive that, and it gives him practice just incase science does come up with a way to correct his problem.
2007-04-20 02:06:09 · answer #5 · answered by Me 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him anything just yet!
I think you should go to an specialist not just an eye doctor something like an ophthalmologist who can really tell weather or not the problem can be corrected with surgery I got the same response from my Doctor once (I have Myopia; not as serious as you son) and I did have a surgery and my eyes are almost 20/20. Even if a specialist can't help you should still let him go ahead with the test maybe bring it up a conversation just so he won't be too disappointed if it doesn't happen, but DON'T tell him he won't be able to drive just ask him if he thinks his eyes are going to be a problem and see how he reacts to that. Just let him go ahead with the test only GOD know if he really will be able to drive don't listen to the Doctor or anyone else and DON'T discourage him...
Good Luck..
2007-04-20 02:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. I would say that once you have a
therapist for him and while he is visiting with the therapist
would be a good time to tell him that way he will have
someone there who can help him work out the feelings
he will likely be having.
2007-04-20 02:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by chmar11 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful Mom who is trying to raise a strong and independent child. Good for you!
Your son may need a Seeing Eye dog's assistance. This working dog can provide your son with endless opportunities for independence. While he may never be able to drive, the dog can allow your son to travel anywhere on a bus, train, plane, taxi, etc... He can go to the grocery store, restaurants, library (audio books), mall, etc... with his canine companion.
If you haven't considered this option, please do so.
2007-04-20 02:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by kja63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, you probably need to talk to professionals about this. I think however you do this you need to try and put a positive spin on it. Get him to think about the things he can do and not focus on what he can't and hey when he's older he will never have to be the designated driver when going out with his friends.Oops if your American that's not much good is it, I mean a long time to wait.
2007-04-20 02:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by Brownsuger 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm interior an same situation. I genuinely have a 16 month previous and that i'm 15 weeks pregnant. For me, i think like with my first being pregnant, I felt so excited... i grow to be continuously questioning about her and what it would want to be like. Now, all i will imagine about is how this new toddler will change issues for her. i imagine it truly is common in spite of the truth that. i'm afraid because it will be the type of change going from in basic terms her to her and a sparkling toddler. i'm scared she'll sense skipped over and unloved. yet, I in basic terms imagine properly...I adjusted to having my first really properly and in spite of the actual undeniable truth that i'm no longer feeling that 'feeling' yet with this one, i will regulate. Plus, i have heard a TON of moms say they felt like this. i'm really useful upon getting your toddler, or you word it shifting on an ultrasound or sense it truly is kicks and it truly is going to grow to be extra genuine, like there is quite yet another sweet toddler starting to be interior of you you received't sense so in charge about the area. Plus, your children in basic terms isn't too far aside in age and that could be a plus.
2016-10-18 02:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the direct approach by explaining why he won't be able.
Although you may just let nature and his intelligence take its course and he may come to that conclusion himself.
As difficult as it may be he may have so many positive things to do that they will overshadow his not driving. Good luck
2007-04-20 02:04:24 · answer #11 · answered by Bill R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋