In Christianity, when are you supposed to forgive? What does forgiveness mean? How does it tie in with justice

Question

Do we forgive everyone? Or only people who are repentant? Why does it matter if we forgive or not (seeing as we aren't God)? Does it mean we let the forgiven person treat us badly again, and then we just forgive - again? Or do we need to incorporate justice, penalties/punishments and retribution into our concept of forgiveness?
Can we just be angry at people who deserve our anger (ie. they don't seek to change their life, or they are not repentant/acknowledging their guilt)? Or are we not allowed to be angry? Please tell me what you think!

Answer 1

Good question. This will help me deal with what's going on in my heart now...

If you don't forgive someone the anger, resentment, whatever you want to call it eats at you - not the person you are angry at. Better to forgive than let it gnaw at you.

Friends visited us late one night. She got mad over a made up agenda in her mind, walked out and drove home w/o her husband - 60 miles away. We had plans to spend the next day with them. Since it was so late he decided to stay and participate in our plans. We drove him home the next night. The following day she e-mails me asking for forgiveness. I'd already forgiven her. I find out a week later that she didn't talk to her husband for several days after that - still upset at him over her failings. THAT got me angry. How dare she ask for my forgiveness when she's not willing to foregive. It's been eating at me for days. So what good does my anger do? Nothing but eat at me.

I know, sounds petty over what other peoples problems are, but when it comes to forgivenes, if you don't forgive it eats at your heart & not at the person who did you wrong.

I think I better let it go & forgive her for this, too. But what about our friendship? I'd really not rather deal with this happening again. But if she doesn't allow Christ to change her it will happen again in one form or another. What about Christ's friendship with me? Have I let Him down before? Yes. Does He still reach out to me? Yes. Might I let Him down again? It's possible. He's not willing to let me go so I guess I shouldn't be willing to let her go but be a good example to her.

That's just one example. In cases where physical abuse is concerned I would say forgiveness is a must but returning to more abuse is foolish. As a temple of God you need to protect your body from known evil.

In cases where the person is not repentant you still need to forgive them, but if their friendship is destructive to you (interfers with your relationship with God or the other person has no desire to change) then you don't need to continue the friendship. Telling them why would be a good idea so it can open the possibility of change to them. (Somewhere in the NT there is an instance where the apostle says to give someone over to the devil for a time....)

The Bible does say "Be angry and sin not." So anger that is not a type of self-righteous indignation is OK, but be careful that it doesn't bring you low.

Thank you for letting me work out my anger and foregiveness issues. I feel better now. :)

Answer 2

we forgive and don't resent. we uphold justice by giving the punishment one deserves. er...how do i put this. we need to forgive them and help them by meting out punishment which lets them see in another light and perhaps repent. in a way we are not allowed to be angry. as in its a must to love and forgive but its not like we'll go to hell if we get angry. god will forgive us when we get angry and resentful against one another. we do not need to let the forgiven person treat us badly. i'm sure there's other ways you can stand up to the person. just walk away. don't feel resentful or angry. for remember, vengeance is the lord's.

Answer 3

Everyone has been wronged, offended, and sinned against at some point in life. How are we to respond when such offenses occur? According to the Bible, we are to forgive. Ephesians 4:32 declares, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Similarly, Colossians 3:13 proclaims, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” The key in both Scriptures is that we are to forgive others, as God as forgiven us. Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven!

Forgiveness would be simple if we only had to grant it to those who come asking for it in sorrow and repentance. The Bible tells us that we are to forgive those who sin against us, without condition. Refusing to truly forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and anger – none of which should be the traits of a Christian. In the Lord's Prayer, we ask God to forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who sin against us (Matthew 6:12). Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” In light of other Scriptures that speak of God’s forgiveness, Matthew 6:14-15 is best understood to be saying that people who refuse to forgive others have likely not truly experienced God’s forgiveness themselves.

Whenever we miss the mark by disobeying one of God's commands, we sin against Him. Whenever we wrong another person, we not only sin against them, but also against God. When we take a look at the enormity of God's mercy to forgive us of ALL of our transgressions, we realize that we do not have the right to withhold this grace from others. We have sinned against God infinitely more than any person can sin against us. If God forgives us of so much, how can we refuse to forgive others for so little? Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18:23-35 is a powerful illustration of this truth. God promises that when we come to Him asking for forgiveness, He freely grants it (1 John 1:9). The forgiveness we extend should know no bounds, in the same way that God's forgiveness is limitless (Luke 17:3-4).

Recommended Resource: The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness by John MacArthur.

Answer 4

The point of forgiving others is treated on HP:
Forgiveness or Not Do we have to forgive under all circumstances?

Direct Link: http://bythebible.page.tl/Forgiveness-or-Not.htm

Answer 5

I think its okay to get mad, if its justified, such as when Jesus got mad at the money changers. We are to forgive, let go of our anger, but people are still subject to governmental laws. If a person commits a crime, we can forgive them, but they still have to face the penalty in court. There are consequences of what we do in this world, regardless of who forgives us. Ultimate forgiveness is His to give, not ours.

Answer 6

Forgiveness should come at all times.....no matter how hard it is to do.

Remember....."Vengence is Mine says the Lord".....
We should leave that stuff to Him. He is just and perfect....we are not.