I was arranging some clothes in my sister in laws closet and suddenly found some magazines and CDs. The magazines were eroti*c mags and once I checked the cd, it was an ****** one too. She is very young (physically and mentally still looks under-developed) and should not be watching all this..
I found a semi dressed photo of her in the CD as well. Is she sick? Does she need to go to a doctor?? She also has some not-so-appropiate lingerie.
What should I do? Should I show all this to my husband or my MIL? Should I scold her myself? I have done nothing till now and have replaced all of it as I found it.
2007-04-20 00:36:49 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is below 18. And she and I are not the best of friends....so talking to her directly may be difficult....!
2007-04-20 00:42:29 · update #1
She is only 15.
The p*orn is 'standard' stuff but isnt she too young to watch even standard por*no?
I am most worried about the semi nu*de pic of hers that I found - who took it? Why? Who else has a copy...?
2007-04-20 00:46:24 · update #2
Just to be clear: I WAS NOT snooping and was simply putting her washed clothes in her closet
2007-04-20 00:48:12 · update #3
I wouldn't be worried about it. It's natural for her to be curious. If it's just standard **** & nothing sick, then just let her go. It's normal. If it's beastiality or something like that then reconsider your options, but imagine how you'd feel if someone was questioning you about personal stuff like that. She had it in the closet so she'll be wanting to know how you came across it, & you'll end up being the biggest ***** in the world! I'd just let her go if it's nothing abnormal. She obviously knows what it's about & enjoys it. She'll be fine...
2007-04-20 00:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by kyls 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
At her age it's natural to be curious about sex and anything sex related. Especially since society pushes it in our face every day. You say she "should not be watching all this" but why shouldn't she? When you were 15 were you curious? When I was her age I got my sex education from a series of books called "The Happy Hooker". It was very informative and taught me a lot. I grew up in a family (of 8 kids) where sex was never discussed. In my parents generation sex was looked at as something dirty and only done when you want to have kids. Sex is a natural part of life and we all have to stop being afraid of it. It's the fear that causes the problems that kids get into.
This is a different day and time. What you found is most likely innocent curiosity and I wouldn't worry about it and I wouldn't say anything to anyone. She deserves her privacy. If, in addition to what you found, you see other evidence that she might be acting on some of what she's looking at, it's important that she be safe.
If you have reason to believe she might be doing anything that will be harmful to her (i.e. having unprotected sex), talk to her. Her first reaction will be anger because she'll feel like you were snooping. You can overcome that by being open and non-judgmental and by reassuring her you won't say anything. You say you don't have a close relationship. This is an opportunity for you to fix that. Approach her in a non-judgmental way and let her know you will respect her privacy but that you only want to make sure she's taking all the necessary precautions. If you create an environment where she feels she can approach you and not be judged she will be less likely to get into the kind of trouble you're worried about.
2007-04-20 01:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not report to MIL, it may backfire. U may tell your husband, only if he is the gentle and sympathetic type. A sister in law has the potential to make your life miserable in the long term, so watch your moves, the MIL and maybe even the husband will support her.
2007-04-20 01:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to your husband, and live it up to him.
She will turn 16 in a year. I do not know the back ground but it is like "community guideline".
Both will be disturbing to me. But nothing much can be done to day about such thing except keep an eye on the stuff.
2007-04-20 10:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? Why were you rearranging her closet? My first inclination is to tell you to stay away from other people's belongings and mind your own business. But, if she is under 18, I would consider going to your husband and telling him what I found and let him decide what to do since he knows his family dynamics better than you. If she's 18 or older she has the right to do what she wants, wether you approve or not. And if you do talk to someone, you'd have to explain why you were in her closet.
2007-04-20 00:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT scold her yourself. Depending on how young she is, 15 or younger, it would likely be a good idea to discreetly bring it to your MILs attention. If she's too harsh on her however and not as inquiring and trying to understand it could backlash, but still acceptable punishment may be due.
2007-04-20 00:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by B Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you were not putting her clothes away you were going through her things. No matter she is to young for all of this. Also where are her parents? You are not her mother so I would tell her mother to put her clothes away so she finds it and deals with her daughter as I am sure this behavior did not just start now.
2007-04-20 03:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has got to be a joke, right?
what were you doing arrangine clothes in her closet?
when you found a cd, why did you watch it?
was the lingerie hanging in the closet?
not sure watching the cd was part of hanging her clothes in her closet, seems like there was a little more to it than that..but, if she is 15, it should be addressed..
she is not headed in a good direction, i would talk to her brother, maybe he can speak to her, but she is going to get angry, cause, how will he know what is on that cd?
i do think you crossed the line on this one...
2007-04-20 00:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
There are some private side to any personality. It is for her to sort it out, unless things are weird warranting a psychological treatment. Give her a long rope. May be you can seek the help of her friends.
2007-04-20 00:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-13 00:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋