I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. I love him but im just not IN LOVE with him anymore. We do live together as well..So, here are the details for my question:
I recently started talking to a guy online. I did not have the intention of it being anything other than talking, neither did he. Well, a couple nights ago he told me he was falling for me and I feel the same..He lives in Virginia and he wants to come up and see me in a couple weeks. The only problem is since we were only talking in the beginning I didnt tell him that I have a bf. Now im afraid to. I love my bf but I feel something that ive never felt for this guy. What would you do? Opinions would be appreciated as well, just be respectful!
Oh, and before anyone asks, im 19.
Thank you!
2007-04-20 00:14:27 · 32 answers · asked by michakitty87 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that the fact that you showed interest in getting to know this new guy shows that your relationship with your bf was already failing. If you don't love him, leave him and let him find someone who truly loves him.
2007-04-20 00:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by Velouria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a couple of problems here. The first is that you have a bf but are now considering the possibility of a relationship with someone else. It's best to let the bf know that things are going downhill and you need to decide how to end it.
The second problem is the online thing. When we are online, we can be anyone or anything we want to be and we always present ourself in the best possible way. Who knows? I could be a drooling 300 pound pervert. Beware of the risks. If you decide to meet this guy, do so in a very public place. Bring a friend, who is willing to be in on the conspiracy. She would also be willing to leave you alone if things seem right.
Do not. Repeat. Do not, go anywhere else to "talk" or "be by yourselves" or up to his room to "have a drink". Your life, your health, your relationship with bf, and your own self respect are at risk.
2007-04-20 00:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here is a serious and respectful answer for you. I'm not passing judgement, just speaking from experience. When people are ONLINE, they can be whomever they wish to be. An ONLINE relationship should always be considered extremely HIGH RISK. It is very easy for people to play charades and recreate themselves into a very loving, desireable, worthy person...even when they really aren't. You are just getting a small snippet of who this person is...not the big picture. People who indulge in ONLINE relationships have difficulty making connections to people in person...that is generally why they pursue relationships ONLINE. Usually it is when the relationship moves OFF LINE that cracks appear in the person's veneer because they have lost their smoke screen and usually aren't very good actors (at least not for long). There are other reasons these type things are high risk...personal saftey would be another concern. No matter how much you believe that you have serious feelings for this person, what you are really "in love with" is the FANTASY of this person that you have created in your mind. Real love takes a long time to create and there is no way to KNOW someone in such a short period of time. You might need to give yourself a break from your current relationship to sort things out for yourself before engaging in any other relationship.
2007-04-20 00:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by mzadamz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We'll you R only 19. Sounds like your with your bf for secutiry reasons. I think you should rethink you relationship w/ your bf, if you are not in love move out and support yourself. NO, I think it's a bad idea to go to Virginia to meet a guy you met on-line b/c you lied to him from the get go and he will hang this over your head if & when you decide to start a relationship with him. Remember when chatting on line honesty is the best policy.
2007-04-20 00:34:54 · answer #4 · answered by Virgo Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are cheating emotionally on your bf. Have the decency to break up with him before this other relationship goes any further. Your bf deserves better than a woman who cheats on him. Do the right thing by him.
And then be sure to tell the new on-line guy that you neglected to tell him you have a bf while carrying on an on-line relationship with him. I'm sure he'll appreciate knowing he's falling for a girl who cheats.
2007-04-20 00:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-03 07:11:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a big fan of meeting anyone on the Internet in person, but that is my deal. If you really like the new guy and you feel you are falling for him, tell him the truth, now and get it over with. You withheld information that makes you look scandalous, and that is not good. As for your current boyfriend, if you don't LOVE him, move on, and let him get on with his life. This situation is similar to keeping one cookie in the cookie jar just in case. How would you feel if your boyfriend met someone on the Internet and was talking to them the way you are talking to "Internet" guy. He met up with her, and then you found out about it. Scandalous. Don't play games with people that care about you, because you never want to the one getting cheated on, because it sucks!
2007-04-20 00:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, this is a sticky situation and you'll be playing with fire. Heres the deal. Id suggest to this other guy that if he likes you/loves you so much to WAIT. Wait til the lease is up. Wait until you can break things off with your b/f in a less volatile way. That way the break up doesnt become about "someone else" and stays about your true feelings. If you met him online im sure he can wait just a bit more.
2007-04-20 00:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sanctum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have any respect and caring for your boyfriend, you'll tell the guy from the internet to never mind about it. He can't come up.
Imagine if from your boyfriend's point of view. He is chatting with some chick who lives a distance away. He tells you that they're just friends, but he's gonna leave this weekend to hang out with her. What would YOU think?
If you can't honestly tell him what's going on, you need to rethink your relationship. If you're going to lie to him about what's happening when this guy shows up, you've got problems. You're 19. You're gonna like a lot of guys. But while you're involved with one, you need to respect that and not be involved in others.
What would I do? Break it off with the guy on the computer. Or break up with my boyfriend. YOu can't have both.
2007-04-20 00:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, break it off with the boyfriend... find another place to live... go ahead and tell the online guy the truth, give him time to absorb the fact that you omitted the information. Once you're living on your own, THEN, if online guy is still interested, then by all means pursue it...!
Don't make things more complicated than they need to be, relationships and life are hard enough as it is.
2007-04-20 00:18:16 · answer #10 · answered by PrettyMama982 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you don't love ur bf yes u should leave him and let him know and get out of the relationship. also u should let ur chatter bf know that u r in a relationship and living with him.be careful because realy u do not know this guy other than online. he could be a pyscho for all u know then again he could be the one u been looking for. get to know him better with photo's and maybe using a cam to see wot he is really like. good luk hope u find happyness.
2007-04-20 00:26:40 · answer #11 · answered by donna111 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋