I need some cheering up from anyone willing to help?

Question

I am going through a really really rough time in my life. I won't list the things that have happened and still happen because thats not why I am here right now. But things have gotten so bad lately that every morning I wake up I hope and wish that today is the day that something happens to me that will be the death of me. I would like to think I'm not the suicidal type, but unfortunatly that seems to be the only option I have left anymore. I don't have many people to talk to and the one person who I have spoken about this to didn't really help me much.

So I am out of options at this point and I am feeling lost and hopeless. This has been going on for a long time (about 5 years I would say), I don't know what to do. I am scared of taking pills for this because I have had some bad experiences with anti-depressants in my past.

So if anyone has any ideas or helpful insight, I am all ears at this point.

Please do not tell me to get drunk or high. Thats a temporary solution.

I am not a religious person. I actually do not believe that "God" has only good intentions for us. That belief comes from some of my problems if your wondering. But thank you for the answers so far.

Thank you for the answers so far. But I refuse to turn to God for help. He has given me no reason to turn to him in the past so why now?

Answer 1

I have had severe, chronic depression, too. Hope with a sound basis is what helped me hang on, until I could finally understand the cause. I'd like to share what helped me...

A Cry for Help...
http://watchtower.org/e/20000915/article_01.htm

Why So Much Suffering and Injustice?
http://watchtower.org/e/pr/index.htm?article=article_06.htm

If this seems to fit you:

Understanding Mood Disorders
- Tormented Minds
- Living With a Mood Disorder
- Hope for Sufferers
*- How Others Can Help
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/1/8/article_01.htm

*these* can be shared with people you'd like to have help you.

*When Someone You Love Has a Mental Disorder
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/9/8/article_01.htm

You CAN Fight Pessimism
- Battling Pessimism
- Positive, Goal-Oriented Thinking
http://watchtower.org/e/20040422/article_03.htm

How to Maintain a Healthy Mental Outlook
http://watchtower.org/e/19990708/article_03.htm

Why Take a Walk?
- Walking Is Good Medicine
http://watchtower.org/e/20040222/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20050522/article_01.htm

How to Find Real Happiness
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2001/3/1/article_02.htm

Does God Really Care About Us?
- An Earth Free From Suffering http://watchtower.org/library/dg/index.htm?article=article_01.htm

Please don't judge God by what people who >claim< to represent him have done, or for what time & unforseen occurance has brought you!
http://watchtower.org/library/pr/article_04.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/kn37/article_01.htm

Alone but Not Lonely :
- What You Can Do About Loneliness http://watchtower.org/e/20040608/diagram_01.htm

(For more info, or, when a link is modified.) http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm

Answer 2

If you've taken antidepressants before, I'm generalizing, but you would have had some sort of depressive disorder before, yes? Was that fully resolved despite the difficulties you encountered with the medication? I don't usually like to tell people that they should take medicine because, often, most problems can be sorted out without going through numb emotions. However, if you are suicidal, you should certainly see a psychologist or a psychiatrist, perhaps a different physician to the one that prescribed you the medication the last time in order to obtain an objective view on the matter. You should talk to friends and close ones to seek their support so that you are not alone while you are going through this tough time. The important thing is that you are still reaching out, even if it is though cyberspace, and perhaps that is the first step to finding a solution. I hope I have provided you with consolation and help. Take care.

Answer 3

Hi Gizmo, :)

It sounds like you're depressed for sure, but the reason may not be one that requires medication, and then again it might.

If it's been a while since you've taken medications, you might want to give it another shot. A lot of changes have been made and some improvements made in the medication corner. I'm not pushing them on you, just saying put it on a "shelf" somewhere as something you can reconsider if you need to. Okay, enough about the meds...

It sounds as if you're saying that for a unreasonably substancial period of time, things have been going bad, deteriorating, or at least that is so in your estimation. Well, I have to say I dont know anyone who wouldn't become depressed, and lack the desire to try after so many disappointments. This is often called "situational depression" because the depression is caused by the circumstances/situations in your life, and if those situations improve, or if your perception of them does, the depression often lifts. Seems you could definitely use a change of fortune.

It could help just to have a therapist/councellor to talk things over with. Someone who is trained to listen to not only what you're saying, but to recognize the emotions in what you say and to help you put it in order and turn it around. One thing is that by talking it helps our brain process information. Factual vs abstract parts of our brains are controlled by different lobes and these two sections often have difficulty meeting in the middle. Speech and actually talking about the "event" seems to help those two lobes process the factual, with the abstract--the part that reasons, analyzes and helps produce solutions.

It might also help to find things of which you have more control of the outcome. I do not mean manipulating or being a control freak, but perhaps find things where the odds of the result being in your favor are greater.

My email and IM are available. If you would like to talk sometime.

Answer 4

I have no idea what kind of things have happened in your life, but as long as you are alive, things can improve. You need to be proactive in finding help. A suicide hotline might help until you can get to a counselor of some sort. You can find someone to listen to you and help you if you keep trying. Please do not give up on life. Think about how your loved ones would feel if you committed suicide. They would feel guilty that they did not know you were having such problems. It would haunt them forever and would also set a precedence for others that know you. If you have had bad experiences with anti-depressants, let the dr know that, so they will not prescribe the same medication/dosage as before. I have been clinically depressed since the age of 12 or 13 and recently began taking Cymbalta and it works great. There is help for you, keep trying. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

I know exactly what you are going threw. I have been on anti-depressants for approximately 4 years. Let me tell you the first medication they gave me had some side effects, but my doctor was able to get me on a medication which works for me. At this stage I am still on a medication and I know it will be a long road ahead. But you do need to have someone in whom you can confide. If not a close friend, maybe a coworker or a church member. If there is no one else, get closer to God and talk to him. He is always listening. Focus on the good thinks in your life. You say you are out of options. Clearly you still have options. Try to get away from the things that are making you feel so low. Remember that everyday that you wake up is a Good Thing not a bad one. Everyday that you ask for help is a Good Thing for it clearly shows you want to live. Remember to fight for your life! You have been fighting for at least the last 5 years. Don't let anyone or anything beat you. Overcome you fears and your opponents. God brought us into this world for a purpose. Obviously you have not fulfilled your purpose. Find out what this purpose is and fulfill it to the max.

Remember, there is a saying which goes something like this. "God only sends us what we can bare". I don't know you but I know you can do it. If you need some one else to talk to you. You can always email me and I will respond.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 6

gizmo,
well first, you are not alone. Many members here, including me, are suffering with you.
I know what depression is like. you said suicide seems like the only option, but there are so many other options, you just have to have your head up and your eyes open to see them. sounds like you are drowning with your head underwater and you need to get your head above water to see all your survival options. medication can help you do that.

One thing you might want to remember is that the only thing certain is change. So this feeling you have is bound to change.
And, feelings are not facts. you can't put too much weight on your feelings, but rather, look at the facts surrounding the reasons for those feelings. try to separate the facts from the feelings.
But you should see a counselor. There are really good ones who's purpose in life is to help people with things like this. to teach you coping skills and stuff.
I have found group therapy to be much easier than one on one. Then after the group, if you like the counselor, you can ask him off to the side if he would counsel you or if he can recommend a counselor he thinks could help.
good luck.

Answer 7

My Taekwondo instructor always had a useful saying for us, and when I was particularly upset and depressed once, he said to remember that in life it is always true that "This too will pass." Remember that the universe has a way of balancing itself, suffering cannot go on forever without being balanced by later happiness. Its going to be difficult, I'm not going to lie to you. But I promise that if you don't let depression get to you, that it will get better.

Now, I admit that that was pretty general, useless advice so here's some that might help you at the moment:

1.Take up guitar. Whenever I feel sad, or depressed, I can always sit down and start strumming out my favorite song, which usually is very relaxing and soothing. Music penetrates deep into the subconscious, and can do more good than anti-depressants, doctors, psychologists and other modern quick-fixes.
2. Exercise more. Studies show that exercise stimulates muscles to produce a chemical in the brain that not only grows brain cells, but is a natural antidepressant. Whether its a temporary solution or not depends on your determination to keep in shape. When I am in shape, and especially after a soccer match, I feel extremely content and happy.

I hope that helps, I'm only sorry I was unable to help more. You're welcome to email me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck!

Answer 8

It looks like a lot of the good answers are taken, so here are a few things I'd like to add. Some may sound silly, but they come from my personal experience and I swear to you they helped me overcome my depression.

1. If you've only spoken to one person about this then you are certainly not out of options. There are a lot good people just in your town that would be glad to help you and that one person you've talked to does not represent them. Just look at all the answers you've gotten so far. Nobody here knows you and we've taken time out of our day for you, just because we wanted to. What, you think we did this for the points?

2. Quit any and all vices you might have. You don't seem to be into alcohol and drugs, but there's also cigarettes, junk food and sugary snacks, etc. Coffee was a big one for me. Some of these are uppers, others are downers, but they're all just not good for you. Take care of your body and you'll start feeling better--mentally and physically, and you'll look better too, which never hurts.

2. Get out of bed and get some exercise into your daily routine, and do it outside of the house and away from the places that are hostile to your psyche. Try anything and everything from jogging to cycling to kayaking to climbing, anything that takes you outdoors, puts you in a zone or some kind of meditative and serene state of mind. I recommend doing this with a group; join a club or just go somewhere where there are a lot of people doing the same thing.

3. Sign up for art classes at your local community college. I love Ceramics, but you might be more interested in drawing, painting, glass-making, or some kind of music class. Art classes are good places to meet good people and you can learn to make something beautiful with your own two hands. Even if it's not beautiful to others, it will be beautiful to you.

4. Try to stay away from the things that are bring you down. The above things will help, but also be mindful of the things you're subjecting yourself to that are adding to your depression. If the news puts you in a bad mood then don't tune in; if you can't stand Celine Dion then stay away from her Vegas show and your local soft music station... you get my drift. Don't give anything or anyone permission to hurt you; they're not even worthy of your attention, so walk away.

5. Do good things. Be courteous to others. Be a gentleman. Be a good son, or boyfriend, or cousin, or father, or stranger. Do these things and enjoy the karmic reward, even if it’s as simple as a warm feeling that comes with being kind to others.

And more thing: you sound like a smart guy. You advised us not to suggest getting drunk or high because they're just temporary solutions, and that's exactly what those are. Well, here's my strongest suggestion to you, don't even consider the possibility of suicide. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You're gonna be fine in time, and life will always have its ups and downs. Get through the downs, enjoy the ups when they come, and open your eyes to the wonders that surround you even now.

Answer 9

I can't say that I ever got to a stage of not wanting to live, how could I with 3 kids at home and me only to support them. But let just say it was really had to get out of bed at 5am every morning to work those 3 job's. I didn't think I had anyone to discuss this with until my brother in law said to me stop feeling guilty for things you cant change in others, you can only be responsible for the things you do and how you deal with your life. Most people said to me your a tough cookie you'll be right but I was really caking my dacks. It took like forever to turn my life around. Cant remember how many times I fell over, dusted my knee's and kept going. My kids are mostly grown, 31 to 20 so far 2 of them are going great guns the youngest has some issues that we are dealing with. But you know she will grow through this and be stronger for it. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Not the word's I should be using I guess. It's true though why would you want to die and not know what's around that corner. I'm sure glad I do. Who would have been there for my kids, how messed up they would be if I took that selfish out. Have I cheered you up yet. Sorry if that's not the case.
How I helped myself was to truly understand me, why was it that I found myself in that black hole. I didn't want to feel like that anymore so I read many self help books etc, and crawled out inch by inch.

Answer 10

I would recommend you to visit a psychologist, which -in my opinion- is something that every smart person should do, but that's something different.. 5 years it's not just a difficult period: if you don't do something about it it can become a permanent situation! A psychologist won't find you any solutions, but he will make you able to find solutions by your own and also be make you a stronger character that won't need anybody to cheer you up for so serious problems! 5 years it's a long time and you probably don't even remember anymore how nice life can be but l can assure you that this is gonna change!Believe me, therapy takes some time but it's totally worth it!