My ex dumped me 2 months ago, and I'm still in love with him and I need to know how to move on.?

Question

He dumped me because he wasn't in love with me, but I was in love with him, and still am. After about a month of not speaking, we decided to continue sleeping together because we both were still attracted to each other, and I was needy and wanted comfort. Now we can't anymore because he doesn't feel right about it and I know its the right thing to do and we shouldn't have started doing it in the first place, but I miss his friendship and we also work together which makes it even harder. I just need some advice on how to move on from this, theres pretty much no current chance of getting back together with him, but I'm still in love with him. How can I make my way to being happy again?

Answer 1

The natural way back is to grieve as long as you have to. At some point healing begins, probably not as fast as you'd like. Trying to short-circuit the process with alcohol, a fling, sweets, or other distractions is unwise because unresolved grief will sabotage you in the future. I don't buy the "think happy thoughts" line, but a support system makes the process a lot easier.

Getting a transfer or a new job would probably help also.

Answer 2

I know first hand that you don't want to hear this but its true. Time heals all wounds.

My husband and I just divorced a few months ago for very different reasons and we both still loved each other very much but we could no longer be together. It's been a struggle keeping myself busy to occupy my time. I am still constantly thinking about him even now. The pain is still there and still great but it is dulling.

I haven't actually seen him in those couple months unlike you having to work with yours. That has made it easier for me. I'm not sure what to tell you about your work situation except would it be possible to move to another department?

I have kept myself busy with friends and online. I also got lost in the Left Behind series which was extremely helpful.

I don't recommend trying not to think about him but try to forgive the situation and the result of of your relationship with him and be thankful for the good memories you can take with you and treasure.

Forgiveness is key to moving on, though. Even if neither of you wronged the other you can end up resenting the way it turned out which will create bitterness. Bitterness sticks with you for a very long time. That's why you gotta forgive in order to move on. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Get out more. The problem with such as this is that you probably dumped your friends in his favour, most girls / ladies do! So get out again with your friends and enjoy life. You'll never forget but you will find someone else just like he will. As for working, yes this will be a problem in the short term. Its never a good idea to date / marry anyone you work with. Just try to ignore him and stay clear of him. I hope you soon get to be happy again, I'm sure you will. My daughter went through a similar thing ( I hope not the sleeping together!!) and she came out of it stronger and a better person .. best of luck and every happiness for the future.

GatorBait: you should have sold the poem first before publishing! Good work!!

Answer 4

The moving on part is difficult.(even though I haven't been in a relationship) But based on the people I know(and barely knew) you should first cut the communication between you. Then, stop thinking about him because thinking of him might even deepen your feelings for him. Engage in different kinds of stuff like sports, having fun with your friends and the like. Soon you'll find yourself not needing him anymore.

Answer 5

Hey, I have troubles moving on from my last relationship too. It has been 2 mths but I still find it difficult...

Is it possible to get a new job? You need to distance yourself away from him and just ignore him. Delete all his contacts, throw away all the things he gave you (I just did all of those yesterday as a form of closure.)

Talk to your friends about how you feel, keep yourself busy, focus on the negative aspects of the relationship to convince yourself that he's not worth your love.

If you wanna talk about it, u can email me at [e-mail]

I know how it feels when the other party says he doesn't love you anymore. I've been through it myself...Be strong, you can make yourself happy again, you just need to be patient.

Answer 6

Find a better job or move across town if you have to, but you MUST move on. There are plenty other "fish in the sea." You are wasting time concentrating on him when he is using you. You wrote, "How can I make my way to being happy again?" and that tells me you are NOT happy now. So ... for your own happiness, don't focus on him (yes, you CAN control your thoughts!) but focus on the guy you want to meet (qualities you want the new guy to have, and certainly, who thinks you are a queen and treats you like one). If you believe in prayer, hit it every time you think about it ... brushing your teeth, waiting in the lunch line, sitting in rush hour, getting ready for bed, etc. BTW, intercourse without love is the worst thing a lady can do. It attaches us to the guy and messes with our minds. Good luck, Sweetie. YOU CAN DO IT !!! THINK POSITIVE!

Answer 7

That sleeping together business - being "sexual friends" never works. The answer : BGNO - big girls night out. Go out with your friends that you've been neglecting and let them sympathise with you and ***** and moan about him. Don't pick up, you'll feel cheap in the morning.

You can't say biatch on YA ? We must be in America !

You can't even do a pretend version word of a female dog !

Answer 8

well first go rent a movie then go home and watch it and eat Ice-cream and sweets until your bloated and then jump up and down till you get tierd then go take a nice warm bubble bath and put on some comfy p.j's and go to sleep while playing soft music with your blinds open and in the morning drink some coffee and you'll feel as good as new!!!! Hope you get over this guy!!!!

Answer 9

get busy,join a sports club,hang out with friends,explore your talent,read books that will uplift your spirits and most especially draw yourself nearer to GOD,pray every now and then to help you deal with your current situation and comfort you to handle all your pains

Answer 10

I WROTE THIS POEM AND IT HELPED ME!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A poem for a break up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I asked him if he loved me
He used to say "Yes."
Then he said "Guess"
Now he says "Less".
What do you do
When the one who loves you
Won't confess?

For him, I built
Castles in the air.
But my broken dreams
Won't repair.
Am I blessed
Or is my life a mess?

How do I find the motivation
To pull myself out of a bed
He's no longer in
And dress myself for myself.
And force my day to begin?

Am I allowing this man
To hold me back?---
But not back so far
To the point I was before,
Before he stormed into my life
Proclaming his love for me.

But now I know "Less" and " Guess"
Aren't his best.
And he didn't love me
As much as I do
Or as much as he loved himself.

Yes, I'm blessed,
WITHOUT HIM!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAINTRAIN