my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost a month now, were having a great time hanging out and such, but in the beginning i was really nervous. whenever he would try and hold my hand or move in to kiss me, i would always push it away by instinct. since then i have become more comfortable, but tonight before he left, he told me he thought i was still awkward, being with him i assume. i really care about him and dont want to push him away. im doing my best to be more comfortable, but im starting to second guess myself, wondering if i am even "good" enough for him. he is used to girls with alot higher self esteems then myself, i feel hopeless as to what to do. i know i care alot about him and i dont want him to leave me.. should i worry?
2007-04-18 19:50:59 · 10 answers · asked by lizzyb 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hes my 2nd bf, first was a pretty bad experience. and im 18 =P i should know better by now..
2007-04-18 19:57:02 · update #1
thanks everyone for your answers, they really help me feel alot better. i texted him and im gonna talk to him tomorrow =)
2007-04-18 20:15:45 · update #2
get courageous and enjoy him! ask him what he meant, maby it'll help you feel comfortable.
don't regret his other higher self esteem girls, you are someone he picked to be with ! so that's a good thing!
If you knew what he meant you can learn not to be awkward,
trust your good enough for him because he is with you.
when i started dating girls I was awkward but enjoying it,
so when i was told i was still awkward i said how am i awkward? she told me and i thought okay i'm going to be couragious because going out with her is something good.
Now i'm fine and we are still together and it made me realize by asking how i was awkward we can share with eachother !
and you are good enough for him because he picked you!
he picked YOU ! so don't worry and enjoy him
2007-04-18 20:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be afraid to lose anyone. Especially since you have only been togther for one month. If he really likes you, he will try to make you feel comfortable and safe. Being comfortable with someone takes time, it is not something done overnight. And another thing to think about, is he doing anything to make you uncomfortable when he is around? The answer could be no, but you need to look at things objectively that early in a relationship.
2007-04-19 02:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by Ride seeker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well yes actually, because your relationship will not work if one of you feels unsure. if u feel uncomfortable then talk to him, tell him that u need time to adjust to the relationship and tell him that there is a chance for it to work, both of u just needs to take it slow, no need to hurry. and if this guy really likes u, u know that he will give u more time.
never ever question yourself cos u know deep inside that your good enoughh for anybody, and if its not this one, u could try and push a little more or let go of him and find a new guy.
and its a good thing u have the effort to change for this guy, its a good start in realizing that something must be done to save the relationship.
just talk about it and try to make him comfortable and yourself of course. think that this guy is special and u dont need to be shy or anything. i know your heart will pick the right choice of words and actions.
good luck!!
xoxo
2007-04-19 03:13:00 · answer #3 · answered by vipurr_073 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to figure out what makes you instinctively push him away or not be comfortable. Are you really young and is this your first boyfriend?
Self esteem and confidence is the best thing a woman can have in attracting men.
2007-04-19 02:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel like you are not good enough for any man, it don't matter the money they make, the car they drive, the girls they have gone out with, that don't make the man, what is inside is what makes the man. So think of it this way, you are to good for him girl. If you like him and are comfortable with him then more forward with things if not then explain it to him, if he cares about you then he will understand and take it slow.
2007-04-19 02:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Garrison 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it at all. "Almost" a month is less then three weeks. A very short period of time for someone to be even thinking about intamacy. It sounds like a toatal cliche, but it is so true. If it is meant to be, he will be patient and kind to you until you're comfortable. If he bails, he's NOT the guy for you.
2007-04-19 03:02:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss this with him. Never put yourself down. Realize that if he did not care for you, he would be somewhere else. Obviously he thinks that you are good enough for him. Try showing him a bit more affection, and opening up to him about how you feel.
2007-04-19 02:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to first figure out why you act that way with him. Is your self esteem low? Are you insecure? You need to get yourself together and be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. If you continue to doubt yourself and push him away, he will get tired and leave.
2007-04-19 03:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm… not really sure wht to say about it.. are u sure hez not using you? Do u really think he loves you? I feel what your doing is rite.. maybe ur jus not ready for what hez asking.. but is he worth giving what it takes? Think about it.. I personally feel what ur doing is right..
2007-04-19 02:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him your not quite ready if he's a nice enough guy and really loves you he will wait
2007-04-19 02:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋