his sister just got seperated from her husband and is living with us now with her three kids, my mother-in-low's attitude has changed towards me, there is no room in our house, i feel frustrated, my life has changed entirely, i dont want to hurt anyone.. but i want my peace of mind too, i want my own place.
2007-04-18 18:37:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't mean this to sound cold, but really, you need to be telling this to your husband and not to us. Set aside some time, perhaps go out for a cup or coffee or a meal, and tell him how it makes you feel to be a hostess to your sister-in-law and her children.
This is your house, yours and his, and the two of you make the rules. While it's one thing to allow your sister-in-law to stay for a few days while she finds other housing, it's another to have to share your house, your kitchen, etc, for an indeterminate amount of time.
Lay it all out for your husband, but use "I" as much as you can. Don't say, for example, she's driving me crazy, but say, I need my space and my peace.
Most men will acknowledge that a big part of their job as a husband and father is to protect their wife and children. This is your husband's family, and he needs to step in and "protect" you in this matter. The two of you need to set rules and deadlines, but he has to deliver them and enforce them. He has to be your ally in this.
2007-04-18 19:02:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sitting down and telling hubby can be tricky. Before you do that, and you should do it, write him a letter. Letters can be smooth in addressing issues that can be sabotaged when spoken. Once the letter has been written, read it and make sure you addressed all your issues. Re read it one more time just to be positive your approach can't be misconstrued to mean something entirely different. Now, put the letter somewhere he will be able to read it while away from you or family members. Possibly at work or lunch. This will give him time to absorb the issues a little before you discuss them with him in person. He will have a little time to try to come up with a resolve before he goes over the issues with you. Your marriage will be better if you had your own place. The sex will definitely improve, not that it is bad now, but it will still improve. Woo Hoo! The only attitudes that you or your hubby will have to deal with is each others. Cooking and cleaning just for two! Being responsible for just two. I am sorry to bring this up but you mentioned "our house" , it is not our house, it is the mother in laws house and she had enough room for who ever she wants to bring in, get it? Good, now get out on your own and love it! Good luck.
2007-04-19 02:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by MJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that since the sister is there to be with his mom now, it is time for you and he to find your own place. Tell him that it would be nice for the two of you to have some privacy. Suggest some nice intimate moments that you could share together in a place of your own. Tell him that the stress is going to start affecting your marriage, and you want to solve that problem before it gets bad. Tell him that you love his mom and sister, and would like to visit often, but you really need a place to call your home.
2007-04-19 01:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's time for a heart to heart talk with your husband...let him know that you are more than willing to help his family, for a short period of time, until they can get back on their feet, but you really would appreciate having your privacy, your home with your husband....maybe if all they need is a little money to rent a place, you can lend it to them, so that it doesn't take too long, if you know what I mean....just explain that the house is too small and its overwhelming....I am sure he will understand and agree with you, and he will do his best to make this happen. Good Luck
2007-04-19 01:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just do it! Don't even think about it..JUST DO IT!
Get your own apartment! Come room with me haha! i just got out of a situation where i lost who i was because i got too caught up in my boyfriend. I followed my gut feeling, and no matter how hard i want to run back i make myself suffer cuz i know it will be worth it in the long run.
2007-04-19 02:08:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mandi R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your husband and be honest. You have to explain that the 2 of you are married and need your own space. Make sure he knows how you feel, but don't put all the blame on his family. Own your feelings.
2007-04-19 01:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by dkquantumsingularity 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You deserve your own place. Your husband needs to step up to plate. Your his family now.
2007-04-19 01:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by USMarine Dad 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sit down and talk with your husband. let him know how you feel and that if the sister can't find a new place, you certainly can and will.
2007-04-19 01:41:11 · answer #8 · answered by roansaga 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋