I asked him, are you sure you want me as a girlfriend since we have more differences than similarities? he then tells me why would you doubt the relationship & even when we do fight and work things out either we could break up or we could get married-I don't know about anyonelse but if you know that theres more differences than similarities, why would you go on with that person? that to me is just wasting time and emotions..& I'm not sure if I should give this guy a chance, I'm 21 he's 23, he's got a lot of things I want in a guy except one thing.Emotionally wise I am more of the guy compared to him, meaning I am so blunt that at times I know he's upset and he'll even ask me to change my choice of words.(which happened tonite) He also thinks that I don't care for him but he has no idea, just because I don't get jealous like most girls or call him like most girls. But I wish he'd realize maybe that's what makes me different from his other chicks so do I leave him now while I can or try?
2007-04-18 17:07:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh & i'm a pre-med student, so i barely have time to bs, and i know he's going to want me to move back to nyc to be near him. me going up there every other weekend i'd prefer. maybe i'm weird but i want a relationship where we're faithful but i only wanna see him like once a week or twice because i have so much stuff going on with my life & i'd like some time to myself and time for my friends and family too, he's really flirty, he claims naturally but who knows. but i gotta admit im pretty flirty too. is this a relationship that sounds like it could work? im a bartender with more girl friends and hes the party guy with lots of girl friends. for a guy like him, i've noticed he's pretty insecure which i don't like. and i wanna tell him but im scared. and if i do see that he isn't for me how do i tell him without being so scared? he somehow knew that i'm one of those people who quietly avoid guys when im not interested... ughh im so lost help )=
2007-04-18 17:14:54 · update #1
Thanks everyone! (=
I feel better lol... I'm just going to tell him that I wanna be friends because I really do... not like me.lol..and if he truly cares for me than he'd rather have me as a friend then nothin at all...
thanks again everyoneee (=
2007-04-18 17:23:33 · update #2
If you don't feel it's worth sticking around to sort through these differences in personality then there's no point in remaining in the relationship. If you do in fact have strong feelings for the guy then why not give it a try?
Explain to him that you do care about him, but your not the type to get jealous and that could lead into the fact that you have trust in him which is highly important in a relationship. Also explain that talking on the phone isn't as much your thing....maybe you would prefer to talk with him in person.
As far as your choice in words....I don't know what it is you said, but it doesn't hurt to make an effort as you probably don't want to offend or hurt anyone.
2007-04-18 17:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by Lwood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok theres many differant types of relationship's. What you to is need to sit down and talk about limit's. What he does or you do that bother each other to work them out. If this man has all the qualities you want in a man theres no reason to toss it out because of one thing. Differances are what make's us who we are and what we can bring to a relationship. If ya both agreed all the time that could be very boring. Theres nothing wrong with being blunt and not jealous, just show's security in who u are and openess. What does your heart tell you? Do you want him? Can't ask anyone else if you should leave him. All I can offer you is this, if in the morning next week or a month from now he wasn't with you how would you feel? Better knowing one thing stopped you or worse knowing all his good qualities got away.
2007-04-18 17:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by ViXeN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave this guy you want a real man not a drama queen. Plus you guys have more differences than similarities as you stated your not compatible . You want to be married to a person that is compatible with you. If you up and marry this man you could end up having a life of hell. Your 21 don't through your life away on a over emotional man who wants to control you. Your better than that honey. Leave Mr. Nutcase where you found him.
2007-04-18 17:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by diva22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have your head together and are wise for your youth. The decision you have almost figured out, but you may need someone to bounce it off of so here is my thoughts. Women are more mature then men even at and early young age. Men think differently than women do. Women tend to think more with their brain and men think more with their heart on their sleeve and the middle of their pants. Trust me, you will be happier with someone who you are attracted to and has the most things in common. He may just be someone who helps you see what you don't want so you can know what you do want. No one can make the decision for you but I'm sure you are going to make the right choice for you. Best way to tell is write down the qualities they have shown you;the things you like and don't like. If the bad outweigh the good. Hummm say good bye babe!
Rev. TomCat
2007-04-18 17:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by Rev. TomCat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are questioning many things. If you want a strong guy in your life, he doesn't sound like he's the one for you. Though some relationships are very successful with such differences. It takes two special people to make them work. It's your call! Good luck!
2007-04-18 17:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by daffodil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mature emotionally secure couples can disagree with politics or any other subject for that matter. However if either of you can't respect and accept each others opinions then you have an underlining problem that goes much deeper than any one subject such as politics.
2016-05-18 21:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's a matter of opposite views or similar views..i'm just getting the feeling from your question that you're just "not that into him". it sounds like you're ready to move on and maybe that is not a bad thing. you are young - maybe you need to experience more in the way of relationships.
p.s. i'm not into being clingy and calling guys like "most girls" either - so i know what you mean.
2007-04-18 17:14:37 · answer #7 · answered by shyanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters if your too similar it wont work out, it just doesnt work your egos will clash and end up breaking up. Perhaps it may be a good time to work out what braught you together and work from there.
This may sound strange but if your acting more like a guy then him then he may be less attracted to that (just a personal opinion, I like my girls mainly girlie :P).
You could perhaps be more sensitive to him, perhaps that is what he seeks?
2007-04-18 17:17:07 · answer #8 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like your pretty Mature and he is not hhhmmm no matter... to different or to the same maturity and trust needs to be grown at a steady pace in the relationship... looks to be still playing the High School Game....
2007-04-18 17:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by maddogcrog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really comes down to if ur happy and if u can see urself in the future with this guy...as far as him being sensitive...i would think thats just a minor set back...after a while, he may lighten up about u not calling as much, etc...but r u happy????...if ur not, don't continue...are u ready to settle down??...if ur not, don't continue...the differences you 2 have, u may grow together down the road...and may realize u have more similar than before, but then again...u may not...so...the questions really is...r u happy with this guy...hope this helps a bit...good luck....
2007-04-18 17:12:35 · answer #10 · answered by ro19_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋