advice, any help would be great :)?

Question

Before I go to bed, help me! haha
I went out with a guy for about 6 months, first boyfriend, and I was his first girlfriend.
Six months into the relationship things weren't working out.
We didn't talk much for a about 2 months, and then one day he messages me saying he misses me and he still loves me.
We started going back out again for a while,
and then I introduced my best friend(he's bi) to him and he falls for him, and I found out he was gay :(
I don't even know how to feel.
But now he's single, and we have become best of friends.
We were getting really close again, and I told him that my feelings have never changed for him, and he was not interested, he said he "felt bad"
We talk every day and it is so awkward talking to someone you love knowing he has no feelings for you :(
I just need some advice on how to get over it, and just let go :(
Without completely cutting him out of my life
How long does it take to get over someone?
Any ideas that will help me keep my mind off him?

Answer 1

I understand that it's heartbreaking to know that you loved someone who didn't loved you.
But remember that he have the right to his own feelings, in other words, you can't force him to love you back.
But I think it's great that you can still talk to him, so keep treating him only as a friend.
It's normal that you take time to get over him, but believe me, you will when you found someone else better than him.
I'll say that he's not worth your time,I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. Just think about the people who cared for you instead. Good luck!

Answer 2

If you don't want him out of your life, then you need to start thinking about getting over loving him. That's made harder by not wanting him out of your life. But look at it this way, when I was hurt by a woman the same way you are hurting because of him, I was glad to be around her, instead of being completely cut off, which is really hard. So look at your time together as a let yourself down easy type thing, and start practicing the belief that you can still love anyone and not be IN LOVEwith them.

Answer 3

You've got an interesting issue here. Many people ask about "getting over" someone. Tough to do. Have to start with re-introducing yourself to yourself. Remember how great you are. Accept yourself without judgment. The fact that someone else no longer feels about you the way they used to doesn't mean that you have suddenly become diseased. You are still you, always were and always will be. And you're great. Remember that. So, if you can learn to truly love and accept yourself then you'll find that you can be happy with yourself, you don't need another person to validate you. And you will choose as friends, or partners, only those who truly honor you. And you will accept them, without judgment, as you accept yourself. Do not become attached to the outcome.

Answer 4

It's never easy to get over someone, but at least you found out the truth and he is now being honest. He sounds like a good friend don't lose the friendship he may even help you find the man of your dreams. Or at least let you know which ones are good and which ones are bad.

Answer 5

Dear britt,

Since he was ur first bf it is gonna be really hard for u to get over him but don’t worry.. we all go through these situations. My friend always says, “what doesn’t kill u makes u stronger”… and I have learned that in a hrad way. I have gone through many hopeless relationships and I have gotten dumped a couple of times but I am still alive :D and u’ll survive like I did lol ...By the way, he shouldn’t feel bad for u, he should feel bad for himself for missing out on a girl like u. if u really like him then try to keep in touch with him but try to think of him as a close friend NOT a boyfriend. It won't take u too long to forget about him. just keep ur mind busy with other things.The best way to forget about him is to date another guy but if ur not ready to start another relationship with someone else then try hanging out with ur girl friends more often and just have fun. Ur ex bf is not worth ur time.


good luck :) <3

Answer 6

It's not going to be easy to just forget about your feelings for him, especially when the two of you are good friends. There's no advice that I or anyone else could give you to remedy this situation over night. It will be hard to stop having these feelings, even though it seems it shouldn't since he's "unattainable" but eventually they will morph into the type of love feelings you have for a very good friend. Just keep your chin up and your mind open to new prospects.

Answer 7

I was in a similar relationship. For three years I "loved" this girl unlike any I had ever before, but she just wanted to be friends. It ate me apart inside for the longest time, until I met my current girlfriend. After falling completely in love with who is now my girlfriend, I realized that what I had for the other girl was nothing but an infatuation. If I hadn't met her, I'd probably still be head-over-heels in "love" with the other girl, but now it's easy for me to accept her as another one of my friends.

(Ironic twist to the whole situation, a few months ago the girl that I had had the infatuation on wrote to me a letter confessing her love for me.... it killed me to reject her as she had me, but I had no choice... not only was I in a relationship with a girl that I love dearly, but my feelings for the other girl had basically died (well, more like faded) away.)

Now, to the point: It won't be easy, and there's no predicting how long it will take; you'll probably need someone to cpme into your life and show you what love really is, and there's no way to determine how long that will take. Just try to repress your feelings as much as possible for the time being and remind yourself that it's entirely hormonal.

Answer 8

you don't need to cut him out of your life forever,
just for now. Don't talk to him for awhile.

it's the best for you, and don't feel bad that you won't be talking to him for a few weeks...it's not a punishment, it's a healing procedure.
It sucks, and it hurts, and you'll want to talk to him...
but once you become sufficient enough to live without him, his presence in your life will be an pleasant addition as opposed to someone you depend on.
he won't be your leading man anymore, he'll be a side character. and that's what you need, because you need to realize that you'll never have him the way you want him. you need to be open to finding other people and you can't do that if you're still in love with him.

now get some sleep!

Answer 9

Try to find a real man -- you almost make it sound like he is the only one in the world ... LOL

There are a lot of men out there worth thinking about -- let the dead bury the dead.

Stop thinking that you can change him because you cannot -- read good books and start living life again

Answer 10

Find someone new. Don't worry about Mr. Right, look for Mr. Right Now. Just find someone new. You can still be friends with the first guy....but have a bf in the meantime. Eventually, you won't see the first guy as a sexual object anymore.