me and my bf of 2yrs, 3 months are in a long distance realationship and are each others first love and are still pretty young.
anyways, he calls me every night at 9. he called tonight and we were talking, and im like, "i'm not controling am i?" (my friend just broke up w/his gf because she was too controling) so i asked if i was, because if i was, i want to change that.
he tells me that yes, i am controling and we started fighting about a bunch of things i do wrong and that i don't give him enough space....which i had no clue he felt this way because hes never told me or brought it up. so hes telling me i don't give him enough space, i do this and that and i ask him, if i do all this, why haven't you told me so i can work on it and i can change it ya know? hes like well, you would have gotten mad. then he tells me part of him wants to experience other things and realtionships and that we may need a break.
2007-04-18 16:40:49 · 10 answers · asked by heartbroken</3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im thinkin, im not giving you a break, i am not gonna wait to see if you find someone you like better so you can dump me ya know and hes like let me think about things, im really confused, and he says it may have nothing to do with our realtionship, that it may be just all the stress hes under. well i gave him till tomorrow night and i have no idea what to do. he just loaded all this on me and never said he was unhappy with certain things before this. i was cryin and all upset and i asked him if he would be upset if we broke up and he said yeah, but wasn't sure if he'd cry right away. and i just don't understand if im so needy or controling why it hasn't been a problem before and why im the only one who does wrong, but he didn't bring up all hes done to me. then
2007-04-18 16:47:00 · update #1
he has the nerve to say that nobody gave him the chance in realtionships before me and he fell in love with me before he could experience different things. that not other girls have been noticing him lately, he wonders what else is out there. and it makes me feel like hes only with me because im all he could get at the time, which i know in my heart is untrue, but of course thats what i think because if he has me he shouldn't have to experience anything else. so, hes thinkin about all this tonight and tomorrow and then gonna let me know. i love him so much and i have no idea of what to do. especially since i had no idea he felt this way till now and its so unfair this is happening. i really need some help. i don't know what to do....
please don't leave rude comments..thanks in advance.
2007-04-18 16:51:53 · update #2
to justafriend, the calling at 9 is because of HIM, not ME. he decided that, i had no say in it thank you very much...
2007-04-18 16:57:24 · update #3
Look i've been reading thru all ur additional details. You sound like a great girl. Your so focused one making him happy. It should be a 2 way street. It could be a chance hes making excuses to get a break. Usually if a guy felt that way there would be signs of him being ticked about being controlled. All i can say is just see what happens. If u guys do break up then its gonna be a tough road for you. Wish i could help you out more but its kinda hard to one here. Your gonna need your friends to be there for you cause its gonna be hard if you guys break up. My friend Danielle has been there and it took her awhile to get over her BF. Just remember that it was partly his fault for lack of communication.
2007-04-18 17:09:03 · answer #1 · answered by JaYjAy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful what you ask for...you may just get it.
You asked, you didn't have to ask, you wanted to know, and then you got mad at him for telling you what you wanted to know. I would break up with you too.
I'm sure he felt that you required a 9:00 pm call every day to check up on him. That is clearly controlling and not giving enough space. It's hitting you in the face and you still don't get it. The problem was always there, it's not like it just came up. He didn't want to tell you because he knew you would react the way you did. That is what control freaks do when they can't control a situation. He is not wrong in wanting what he does, you have created a situation where he has to break free.
You have no one to blame but yourself. Next time give the poor guy some space.
2007-04-18 23:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to have to tell you this but he's been thinking about seeing other people before this argument. He's using the fight you guys had as an excuse to get out of the relationship. And I say let him. Let's face it, long distance relationships rarely work out and if you guys are sill young then yeah, he wants to be with other girls. Don't let it bother you though. It happens. Good Luck
2007-04-18 23:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Shelly E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he wants a break...you probably should give it to him...because theres no point in making him stay with you...cuz than he will be like your forcing him. he is not willing in the relationship, because he wants to. and is that what you want?...if he really loves you or like you. he will come back...if not...than he just wasn't worth it. its partly his fault for not saying anything. it might be hard since you guys been together for awhile. but he can find so many things wrong with you. does that mean he likes you for who you are. either that or first love and he is scared, since you guys are still pretty young. just give him the break and take it from there. it is hard and sad...but the only way you can see what happen.
2007-04-18 23:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by SS3_GrL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im going through the same thing with my boyfriend, but i havent asked him if i was controlling, but we are taking a break and Im giving him some space... Just make sure your boyfriend knows that you love him and that your there for him and respect his need for space.
2007-04-18 23:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by Jessy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Kady Dump him and find a guy how well love you for who you are. I love every thing about my girl friend and would not change a thing. Dump him you deserve some one that can treat you nice and communicate in a way not to make you mad.
2007-04-18 23:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by kiss4u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first step you should do is to see if your relationship is going to be okay then if its going pretty rough you should problem break up with him and find someone else.
2007-04-18 23:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by melissa R. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant understand why you even bother with him....Also being long distance, isnt this space enough...I would forget about this guy and move on...
2007-04-19 00:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not sure of the exact question but it sounds like he is personally distancing himself for less hurt during and after the breakup. i'm sorry but that's just what it sounds like to me. i don't know if i helped you or not but again i'm sorry
2007-04-18 23:50:23 · answer #9 · answered by rickys_lil_mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okey, so, what is your question?
maybe he wants to experience other guys and u cant change that
2007-04-18 23:46:22 · answer #10 · answered by vulu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋