Boyfriend unusally close with other male friend?

Question

My bf of 1 1/2 years became friends with ths kid about 3 months ago. I've always been hesitant toawrds this kid, (he rides street bikes w/o helmets, left his gf for another girl but still tries to hookup with his ex saying hell come back if they have sex, doesnt have any family/relationship values etc.) But my bf is obsessed with him. Now he wants to get a street bike, cut his hair like him, dresses like him, talks like him, go out to dinner with him, ditches his family, and changed his attitude and way he treats me when hes with him with the whole "bros before hoes" vibe, but when w/ me or family alone is who ive always known him as. If it were any other relationship, I would have been out in a snap, but in this past september a best friend (best guy/friend/person i ever knew) we both had died in car accident. It was so hard to go thru cuz it was his only real close friend.I would hate to tellhim not to be friends w/ this guy but scared hes turning into someone else. what do i do?

Answer 1

I lost one when I was 18 years old. The fact is your his best friends right now, and your failing your position. This new kid isn't a geniune good friend. He can't, he isn't to himself. And if your boyfriend is picking this guy because of a reaction to the lost of another, its time for you to step in, and slap him in the back of the head for being stupid. I mean did your friend you lost, think this stuff was a good idea? Did he encourge loose morals, and a complete lack of maturity? Make sure your friend doesn't forget what his old friend represent'd.... and also be weary this is not a good sign of a fully develop social ego, which makes me get the feeling that you guys don't spend to much time talking about feelings (I don't me love) that you guys have about things. If you did, he would have a hard time feeling that he is actual in a geniune relationship with this other guy.... and he wouldn't be going off the deep end like this.... chances are, sad to say, he is being more honest to his new friend, then you..... about the way he feels about the world. And this past tradgy is pulling you guys apart. You have to go thru a series of steps before your over a lose the huge, it takes a lot of time, and I get the impression your friend might be still in denial about how much he truely lost when it happen'd, and what it is he has to do in himself, to make it right.... nothings ever simple, if it was, us humans would get bored real fast.... but it looks like he is going for the old emotionless, distrationed fill'd lifestyle that mtv's been teaching people, not good.... shows he is running form something, its up to you too slow him down and make him confront what that is.... Took me about 2 months before my homeboy wasn't the top typic on my mind, and I finaly accepted it and let the rage/anger/pain go.... its different for different people, but you know things have gone well when your moving foward, instead of moving backwards.... stop him....