I just found out that I am pregnant. I am 19 yrs old and my bf is 21. Right now I live on campus at college but when school ends me and my boyfriend wants to move in together. I dont want to go back to live with my mom when school is over b/c she already has SOOO much stress. She is a single parent who takes care of my 6 yr. old sister, 16 yr. old sister, 25 yr. old brother, and 13 yr. old cousin. She works alot to keep up with bills. When I tell her im pregnant she is naturally gonna get more stressed, so I want to reassure her that if I move in with my boyfriend she wont have any extra load. I know alot of ppl. will say to stay at home so I can get help financially but my mom doesnt even have money to help me. I dont want her to have any added stress. My boyfriend really wants us to move in together b/c he wants to be a part of my pregnancy and the baby's life. We feel that we need to fully take responsibilities for our actions.
2007-04-18 15:59:24 · 10 answers · asked by uhdiamond 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If we move in toghether my bf and his brother will pay rent so that I can concentrate on school and save for the baby, so thats not a problem. I will not have help with babysitting at home neither, b/c my mom always has trouble finding a babysitter for my 6 yr. old sister when she has to work 16 hrs. So basically living w/ my mom wont be much help (I wont say none) but I will probably be more stress for her being pregnant.
We have been together for almost 9 mths. Also, he pretty much lives in my apartment with me already so we are already used to living with each other. But if the living arrangements dont work out then I will move in w/ my mom. But I feel like I need to be very responsible for my actions right now and not causing my mom extra stress.
2007-04-18 16:00:45 · update #1
Honestly, it sounds like you ARE concerned about what's best for your baby which is a GOOD thing.
However, a baby is NEVER a good enough reason to rush into marriage/living together. It hardly ever works and then when you end up breaking up, it's even more painful for the child.
Part of being a good parent involves setting a good example for your children because they WILL do what you DO not always what you SAY. If you guys want to be together, I think you should get married before you live together. But that is a choice that only you and your bf know if you're ready.
About your mom, she sounds like an awesome mother. Sounds like she does it all~ a real go getter. I know you don't want to be a burden, but coming from a mother of two, I can tell you that mother's NEVER consider their children a burden. If you need the help right now, believe me, she'll be able to find the time for you. Pay her back by BEING responsible. Don't just spongue, work as much as you are able to with the conditions of your pregnancy, help around the house, babysit your younger siblings, things like that will help her a TON and she will truly appreciate you.
The best to you and your little one on the way!
Sarah
2007-04-18 16:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by McLovin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just get married? You are having his baby right? I was you once, and I'll tell you now from experience, it doesn't work out. I have a 8 yr old with the man I was with since I was 12...where is he now? Married to someone with no kids, and living a great life... minus our kid.
Moving in together is a huge mistake... get on medicaid, foodstamps and be able to hold your own. Don't listen to what anyone says this is a test for you as well. Never put your all into a man who may or may not be there forever. A baby won't keep him there... I promise you that.
2007-04-18 16:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by ACG 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, get married; that will take more stress off your mom. Second; do not put any more of a load on your mom than she already has (she should also kick out the 25 year old unless he is paying for 1/2 the rent and bills). You need to live with your boyfriend. If you're old enough to make a baby, you're old enough to take care of it and not dump anything else on your mom. Stay in school, too. Don't become a statistic. good luck.
2007-04-18 16:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you've already thought about this a lot, so I say go ahead and move in with him. You have a back-up plan, which is good. You also should check with the state for medical and possibly daycare assistance when the baby is born. You might qualify for nearly free daycare while you attend school/work. Be sure to check up on this.
Good luck.
2007-04-18 16:29:46 · answer #4 · answered by DJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do in the following order 1= get married 2= move in
Good luck
2007-04-18 16:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would recommend getting married. If you love each other, which I am assuming you do since you are having his baby, then just get married now. Why wait.
2007-04-18 16:11:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ask your mother and beg her and inform her you in no way get to speak in your boyfriend. or simply say you'll in no way do whatever else thats dangerous. see kif that works if it doesnt, e mail or write him. however your great factor to do could be to invite your mother for you cell again.
2016-09-05 17:05:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he is the baby's dad, yes move in and GET MARRIED
it will help
raising a baby is stressful
good luck
2007-04-18 16:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get wedded!
2007-04-18 16:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not fornicate please-- go to church- raise yourself higher in life, if you love each other then get married,
2007-04-18 16:11:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋