Has anyone ever received a wedding invitation that did not offer the option of bringing a guest?

Question

Personally I think this means that I am a B level guest. How do I bow out gracefully?.....what would you do?

Personally I think this means that I am a B level guest. How do I bow out gracefully?.....what would you do? I should add that we are in our late 30's , this is not new to any of us. oh and i am not single.

these are ALL great answers. thank you so much for all the input thus far!

Answer 1

Call up the couple...ask them point blank if you can bring your significant other. If they say no...then simply say that you are sorry, but wouldn't feel right about attending without them, let them know that you appreciate the invitaion and best of luck to them. It is their wedding and they don't have to allow you to bring a guest, but at the same time...you don't have to attend.
I feel you though because if I went to a wedding and did not bring my husband, he would be personally offended and then there would be a whole other issue, ya know. It is a little weird, but all kinds of things are no longer traditional with weddings.

Answer 2

No don't bow out! I'd be surprised if there were that many people who were allowed to bring a guest. Usually it's for numbers only. My family have about 100 people so it would be impossible to allow guests as well. Don't take it personally. If there are others who were allowed guests then the inviters would have considered people that they knew were close to them or if they had to go alone.

Go and enjoy the wedding and I am sure it was nothing personal, just the amount of people they could pay for (weddings are bloody expensive you know).

Answer 3

yes and what that mean is the place where they are holding the wedding has a limet as to how many people can be there. It do not mean you are a B rated guest. It just mean they had to make sure only so many people came. If you dont want to go just say I am sorry I dont feel comtperble going alone.

I got to send out wedding invites saying the same thing for the same reason. My room only holds 100 people And I have to make 5 people come alone.... BUT there single to began with

Answer 4

What it means is that the bride and groom are trying to have the best wedding they can on the budget they can afford. Caterers charge by the plate. Often times it's around $50 a plate at that. Selecting only your closest friends and asking only them to come means you can have more of those friends on your budget and/or offer them a better reception. "Bring a Guest" can make the difference between the $10 a plate "we think it's chicken" per person and the $30 good meal and a real band rather than a radio in the corner.

Answer 5

I wouldn't take it personally. After just having our own wedding, and paying for it ourselves, I understand (not necessarily condone) the idea behind it. The couple that has invited you to their wedding is on a tight budget, and cannot afford to pay the added expense for a guest. They want YOU to come to the wedding. They have probably done this to every "single" person who is invited. If the couple is very close to you, you could always ask them about it. If you really feel like a second class guest, don't go, but I would try to find out the scoop before I didn't go.

Answer 6

I hope the people we're sending ours to dont feel like B graders NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes people (especially if on a tight budget) only invite close family & friends & cant really afford to pay for people they dont know. Maybe just feel honoured that they invited you knowing they wanted you there :o)
I recieved an invite a few years ago to a wedding without the option of bringing a guest & I had such a great time meeting new people, some I still know today.

Answer 7

I really don't understand why you think the bride and groom would want some random stranger they don't know attending their big day. As many people pointed out, weddings are expensive and sometimes cousins were left out due to space. If they couldn't invite the whole family, why should the bride and groom splurge on dinner for a random date that you may not even be seeing a month from now?

I found it outrageously tacky for my own wedding that a few invited people added a line to their response card to include that they were bringing several out of town guests!! If you have guests in town don't go--but dont assume you can tack on multiple people onto an invite and that the bride and groom should suck it up.

It's their big day and they should be able to share it with people they are close to. Not be blackmailed by friends who wish to use it as a cheap date night. Would you go out to dinner with that same bride and groom, invite a date and bolt leaving them to pay the bill for your dinner? Adding on people that don't know the couple to an invite addressed to you is the same thing.

But yes, if having a few hours without a date in order to celebrate your friends marriage is so upsetting to you, by all means RSVP that you have other plans that night.

Answer 8

I would not take offense to that at all. I am planning a wedding and we have invited 140 people with over 40 of them as single family members and friends. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and at $75 per plate, we just cannot afford to add an extra 40 people...That's $3,000!

In the beginning, I really felt awkward about not inviting guests but it just wasn't an option for us. We decided to allow guests for anyone who is engaged or lived with a significant other. My single friends understand our situation and I am so glad that they will be there on our day.

Answer 9

Many couples cut Guests from their wedding to save money. Weddings are expensive, remember.

If someone is married, engaged, living with a significant other or in a serious relationship, it's considered rude not to invite the significant other. But if someone is single or if you're just dating around/not in a serious relationship, it is not an etiquette faux-pas to invite them solo.

So I highly doubt you are a "B level guest." If you're declining only based on this, please reconsider, because I doubt it was a snub to you. But if it's a case where you won't know anyone other than the newlyweds, then I don't blame you for declining the invitation.

Answer 10

That's not true at all... you aren't necessarily a "B" list guest because you were not invited to bring a guest with you.

All of my guests at my wedding that were 18+ were invited to be a guest. However, I know for a fact that there are many ways that people determine their guest list, and there are many factors which determine whether guests of guests are allowed. Three of the most popular:

#1) Room capacity may not allow for every guest to bring a guest. The choice many people have is to either not you to bring a casual date OR not invite you at all. Most people would prefer to have you there and forego the casual date option.

#2) Weddings are EXPENSIVE. To allow someone to bring a casual date can get pricey. Therefore, a lot of brides/grooms only invite people to bring a guest if they are in a serious relationship, living with their partner, engaged or married. Otherwise, people have a tendancy to just invite "anyone" just to bring a guest.

#3) Flat out cost. If someone can afford to pay for 100 guests and they are at their limit, then unfortunately casual dates aren't allowed. Period. If I had to choose between inviting my friends without dates or not at all, I would invite them without their dates!

You will understand this someday if you get married. Again, I'm allowing everyone to bring guests because I have the budget for it, but if I didn't then I wouldn't.