Cant stay in the same room as dad?

Question

For some reason i cant stand my dad! When he is in the same room i have to go. We have no relationship whats so ever and i dont know why. I dont even remember the last time we spoke. I am not really close to any of my family but we do speak. But my dad doesnt seem to like me and seems to do things to really annoy me. When i was little i was scared of him but now i am not. Do you think thats why i dont like him? I really have no idea, its weird. I just have this hated feeling towards him. I have been wondering if there is something but my mind wont let me know what it is..is that possible? I am not really sure what i mean lol but i hope someone can help me understand..

My dad has never shown any love for me. My two sisters and brother get on with him really well. I have never felt wanted in my family anyway but my dad just seems really cold towards me. For the person who said they wished to know my age i just turned 16 and this has been going on for years. I went threw a rough time and things happend, my dad pretty much said either he left or i did. Obviously know one went but it felt like someone had put a knife threw my heart when i over heard him say that to my mum. I think i am answering my own question and think i just feel really unwanted and its annoyed me so much i started hating him?!

Answer 1

Maybe you should do some things with him. Why are you annoyed? Is it because he doesn't spend time with you? Doesn't care? Talk to him about it.

Answer 2

U should not ever have to see him again if U don't want to. Never face him alone. It is his loss because he was so mean and cruel. People like him are not worth the time of day. I hope U find a very caring and loving man some day and have a good home life that U create on your own. A lot of men are insensitive, but not all. The good ones are out there is U look diligently. Dating services that screen applicates are a start. As soon as U do start dating someone make sure U meet their families. That will tell U about them, even if the family they came from is rough U will understand their nature better. Also run by your dates with sincere friends who can help U sort out what is what. Be careful and good luck with your future. Forget the bad dad.

Answer 3

My Dad used to sniff because of an irritation in his nose. Most likely an allergy but he never accepted what a cinch it would be to have the doctor find out what he was allergic to, so he just sniffed instead. This drove myself and my sister steadily mad: it seemed so thoughtless and uncaring. If your father is like mine, he has a need to assert himself, as lord and master of the household kind of thing...yet my father loved and still loves us very much and this is just his way.
Now I am in a parallel universe. I live in a shared house and the new tennant is a younger man. Note, I was there first! In our house, when the washing machine is filling;it stops the water for the kitchen sink. Hence, if you believe the water is off when it stops flowing, you'd be wrong. As soon as the machine stops filling, the sink tap comes on full blast! Anyway, not for the first time, I did this and Lovely Young Man hears the noise of the water gushing and rebukes me for it. So, I leave the house telling him Stop Being Such An Old Woman!!! {and if I had got hit by a bus that day, those could well have been my last words to him: so always be careful what you say to those dear to you!!}. Anyway, I think your relationship with your dad sounds normal enough to me: I doubt he dislikes you. More likely he doesn't know what to say to you and he may be insecure in his role as your father and may need some encouragement to interact with you. I was uncomfortable being an uncle for a long while: my sister would bring my baby nephew in to see me and I just felt awed by the responsibility of taking on this role. It may be down to you to draw your father into conversation. Sometimes we think too deeply for our own good. Just begin by greeting your father as he gets back from work, for example and I doubt he will ignore you. He is, after all, your father. Email me if you wish but I am no expert: I only know myself and my own insecurities. I can talk to you all you want but how much it will help is another matter...

Answer 4

I was exactly the same way you are right now. It is like when they walk in the room you get this wierd hatred tingly feeling. Lilke you cant take it. Its like youll be watching television enjoying the program and he walks in and sits down and all of a sudden the show wasnt as good as you thought. Ha. I know exactly what you mean. I tell you it gets better. I am older now, and almost out of the house. Once you move out the relationship will get better. Im not saying you wll become best friends buy you will notice a difference. Another thing that helps to is forgiveness, even if you dont know what for. Forgive him n your heart for all the wrong that you think he has done to you. It works trust me.

Answer 5

Sounds like you like your dad just as much as i like mine!

My dads been a w@nker all my life. He beat my mum, which sent her into depression and alcoholism, which caused her death when i was 9. He never seems to care about what i'm doing or what i'm feeling. He never speaks to me, but i make the effort to call him now and again (you never know when you might need help from his wallet, so its best to keep on his good side) but all i ever get is him winging that he hasn't spoken to me for ages! Hes never short of a criticism, and everything i do is always wrong.I avoid him as much as i can, because he never has a nice word to say to me.

It sounds like you just have a gut feeling about your dad. He hasn't done anything to make you hate him, you just do. Trust your gut feeling, its usually right. Remember though, there may come a time when you need his help (can't afford the rent ect) and then you'll wish you had made a bit more of an effort.

Answer 6

I had the exact same problem, my dad and i just didn't get on, when we lived together we either didnt acknowlege eachother or argued and fought. I just could not stand him being in same room and i didn't even know why sometimes he wasnt even doing anything annoying. I think there was just a lot of resentment there because of how he was and he used to scare me because he got very angry sometimes. When i moved out of my parents i ended up only seeing him at family gatherings, he never asked how i was or suggested visiting. I did get upset by this but kind of accepted it. Unfortunately he died about 18 months ago and i ended up breaking down to my mum telling her how i felt and she told me some lovely things he had done for me like money i thought my mum had given me for my home was from him and that he always asking how i was and he was upset about our relationship just like me but he just couldn't talk to me about it, it seems silly now and i wish i would have just talked to him. Sorry for rambling guess what im trying to say is talk to him about it or talk to someone else like another family member..whats the worst that could happen? Hope things work out. x

Answer 7

I wish i knew how old you are. Until you are able to move out and pay for your own life, you owe him respect. Unless he has abused you , I suggest you make some effort to communicate whether you want to or not since after your teenage years you may realize that you did appreciate what he did for you which now is not easy to understand. How about this? go up and say ' can we talk sometime" and he will either say 'yes how about now 'or' sure maybe later....' then when you get to talk, just ask him how his life is going, if everything is ok and tell him thanks for all he did for you and that you dont say that enough. It may be weird for you but I bet the outcome will be good....

Answer 8

Are you a teenager? It would explain lots. Not that it's your fault or anything, but teenagers are not at all tolerant, and you will be quick to judge and quick to dismiss. As you've gotten older, you've grown less tolerant of his indifferent attitude to you.

But you only have 2 choices, do nothing or do something..

If there is anyone else to talk to, like a mum, I would do so. You need to get outside perspective on the situation and try to figure out who, if anyone, is in the wrong.

If you have spent years pushing him away, then not everyone has outstanding parenting skills, as to resolve things, and maybe it will take an effort by you to open up and let him in.

Answer 9

Most likely, your father is not, a loving type of person. Some people shouldn't marry and have children, as they have no love in their hearts for their kids.
See how he acts with others, does he have many friends? How to other people react to him?
He might just be cold fish. He may not have wanted children, and wasn't happy when you were born.
How sad is that, not to love your own daughter, and all the things he could have had, and shared with her growing up. Especially with all the love a daughter could have given him.
It's his loss, and I feel sorry for you, and if you aren't close to your family, it could be all his fault, seeing he is the leader of your pack.
Lets hope, when you finally, leave home you will find someone, who loves you and you can love back.
Good Luck hon. :)

Answer 10

Ifelt like this about my dad for a while . it was when i was going through puberty . there was no real reason for it i was just more aware thet i was female and that he was male and in my personal space . now i have kids of my own he still really annoys me most of the time because anything i say has no importance to him but i do love him dearly .

Answer 11

What happened to break down your relationship with your dad? It's going to always be this way until you get to the root of the problem. You may feel like you don't love him now, but trust me if God were to take his life you would have nothing but regrets and so would he. LIFE IS TOO SHORT!