Coping with sexual urges?

Question

I'm reaching that age where everything is about sex. How do religious guys cope with their sexual urges. And I dont mean masturbation or anything. Like I want to go home with her, but I find it harder and harder to say goodnight.

I'm Catholic so Catholic responses are best.

Answer 1

You should read the book "Every Man's Battle." My husband read it in college and says it is a very good resource for young Christian men, who are trying to avoid succumbing to temptation.

Answer 2

Straight answer to the first bit; options:
1. Repression
"I don't have those urges, I'm in control."
Also known as "who are you kidding", or denial. Bound to come out sooner or later. Like just living with it and doing nothing about the issue. Eventually you will slip up. BIG TIME.

2. Suppression
"Must... resist.... must... not... - .... Oh Damn!"
Good example is people who have perverted tendencies, becoming men of the cloth. The urges come out sideways. (and the rest becomes front-page news)

3. Sublimination
Be aware, deal with the issues and use the benefits.
The sexual engine that drives us is actually the prime source of energy God gave us. If you use the energy wisely, you can accomplish so much more. (this is why a lot of sportspeople abstain from sex before the big day.) Be upright, and avoid situations where you will be tempted. Talk it over with your girl and set some ground rules.

I know it's not a Catholic book, but a really good one which helped me on this is by John Dickson, called "Hanging in There", particularly chapter 9. I hope it helps.

I'll be praying for you.

Answer 3

A Catholic response would be: don't use protection, and make sure to confess your sin to the priest. 50 'Hail Marys' will cover it. This isn't what the Bible says though. Self control is a virtue you must cultivate. Pray to God for strength to resist temptation. A big part of remaining chaste is not putting yourself in situations where immorality could even happen. "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?" says Jeremiah 17:9. Don't trust yourself to do what is right when you're 'in the moment.' Almost no one can. As old-fashioned and lame as it sounds, get a chaperone.