i am dating this girl and after three months while we were joking about our ex stories i asked her if she ever did it (did not say the word sex), she did not really want to say and she was okay that night..but the next day she said she was offended...don't understand women:(( she did not even reply to my e-mails even though i told her the purpose was not meant to offend her...
2007-04-18 12:19:45 · 22 answers · asked by danny lsh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well to know a woman you need examine eveerything your going to say and do before you say it or do it because to them they just hear and see what they want. But it shoudln't have affended her. But she might think she's all there but probably sin't. But just give it a couple of days and she'll climb off her high horse and talk with you again.
2007-04-18 12:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question probably made her uncomfortable. After 3 months of dating, I believe it is a reasonable question, but you never know, she may have been molested. 1 in 4 women have reported being molested, that means that many more have been but haven't reported it. She may be embarrassed about it. If she hadn't ever "did it" she probably would have just said "no". You obviously hit a nerve, seriously! Why else would she overreact like that?
I, personally, think that it was a perfectly justified question. Did you ask her what she thought you were implying? Is she very religious? You can't control how people react to things, just be yourself. I'm sorry that didn't work out, but I don't think you are out-of-line asking something like that. I hope you find someone who is a little easier to read next time.
2007-04-18 12:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by Sara B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well asking someone if they'd ever had sex before is a pretty big thing, so she probably felt shocked. also, the way you asked her if she'd ever 'done it' after joking around about ex stories, that might've made her feel like you were making a joke of it, and not taking the subject of sex seriously enough.
tell her you're really sorry, and try to be sincere about it, because she probably thought that you were asking her a very serious, personal question in a very upfront jokey sort of way. she may have found that offensive.
is it really important to you to know that she's had sex before? if it is important, ask her in a way that shows you care about her, and that you're being sensitive towards her. I'm sure itll all work out, just tell her youre sorry and that you didnt mean to be insincere about something like that. good luck.
2007-04-18 12:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by helena b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Davecorps stuff is good. I agree, if 3 months without sex and no answer to your question, she's probably a virgin (or wishes she was), is really insulted and thinks you're low.
Your only way back in might be if you knew somebody with STDs and were sure glad that was never going to happen to you, her possible lack of experience becomes valuable for a good reason again.
Otherwise you really blew it because she thinks you're looking for a virgin or a ho for the "wrong" reasons.
I like the stuff about being the cue.
2007-04-18 13:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by James 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, forget e-mails and phone calls - be a man and talk to her in person.
Second, what I've learned about with women is they act crrrrazy. When they do, be calm, but look at them like they're acting crazy - they usually stop. People take a lot of cues from their environment - BE those cues.
If she doesn't calm down, then she's not someone compatible with you anyway.
And btw - when a girl want to avoid the question, don't push it, it usually means NO, but any answer can brand her as a prude or a **** - she can't win.
You guys are probably not out of high school - from her maturity level and your question, so relax - things change in college.
2007-04-18 12:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by thedavecorp 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, I don't think she should be offended. It's a normal relationship question to ask. Just like the question of how many people they've had sex with. But she has every right not to answer that question. It just doesn't seem like something to get offended about.
2007-04-18 12:24:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girls are natually are not as open about sex. But she prob just felt like you were only in for sex, but overwise shes just shy, Some popel find it a reallly private question, which is normally just embaressement incase your answer was something diffrent.
2007-04-18 12:25:34 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its kind of rude question, because its private. If you are ready to sleep together its reasonable to ask, because you want to watch out for STDs but its not something you start a pleasant chat with.
2007-04-18 12:26:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on the girls personality..... some would be glad to tell you but others could get a little offended because maybe they consider it to be a more personal thing.... I guess
2007-04-18 12:23:23 · answer #9 · answered by what? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this could be a few things. She could be under menstrual cycle and take offense to things easily. Or she had a bad passed and does not want to talk about it. Do not force her into anything she doesnt want to talk about it ends up in a bad direction =/
2007-04-18 12:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by Shiju T 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋