It's little stuff, and I feel like such a "bridezilla" but it's my wedding, and shouldn't it be how I want? The main issue is shoes. I am a short person and both of my bridesmaids are tall. I said that I wanted them to have short shoes that way if I got tall shoes they wouldn't overshadow me. One bridesmaid has been a doll and understands, but the other talked me into paying for shoes that are taller than the ones that I got. I was trying to be fair, but it just keeps bugging me. (I'm not making them pay a penny for this stuff either) Do you think that I'm being unreasonable?
2007-04-18 10:49:21 · 31 answers · asked by Mommy to Boys 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks for all the great comments! Too bad I can't take the shoes back, they've been dyed to match the dresses...! Oh well, from now on it's what I want.... She is also being picky about how her hair gets done, but I think I'll put my foot down here. I want it straight with a matching headband.... she wants an updo....
2007-04-18 11:09:52 · update #1
I don't think you're being unreasonable. You're being REALLY nice, which is a breath of fresh air! I don't necessarily suggest pulling the "it's MY day and I will do what I want!" attitude out, because she seems to have that too. Maybe jokingly tell her that she can make you wear whatever you want at her wedding, and kindly explain what you want and why you want it. Ask why she wants an updo - does she want to look stunning herself? There's no problem with that (looking stunning) - and you're sure she'll look great with straightened hair. She can get an updo later. Tell her you have a specific image in mind for the wedding and you don't think you're being tyrannical by asking this.
Be as nice and reasonable as you can with her. Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming marraige!
2007-04-18 12:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by a gal and her dog 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's YOUR wedding day...Not hers. She may either be trying to live through you (in which case, she probably doesn't see what she's doing), get some great shoes out of the deal, or simply trying to make suggestions.
It's not "bridezilla" of you to want to choose the shoes...that's very normal...especially if YOU are paying for them....if you'd left it up to them to pay for, then you may ask something like "black, strappy, 1" heel" and leave it up to them to find a shoe that fits their budget and your vision.
You should try telling her that you are going to by "these" shoes, and if she wants the high-heels, SHE can buy them and wear them anywhere...except at your wedding. :)
You should politely remind her who's wedding it is and therefore, who makes decisions. I have a really pushy friend that I deliberately didn't ask to be a bridesmaid because I know she has terrible taste and would be personally offended if I didn't use her "suggestions (demands)". I just didn't want the drama.
I mean, try not to sweat the small stuff, but ultimately it's your day and you're planning and paying for it.
2007-04-18 11:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by Angela H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the shoes back and buy the ones you want. Yes this is your wedding, do what you want. Listen to their advice, thank them for their opinions but do what you want. It's your day. Don't worry about anyone overshadowing you, it's not possible - all eyes are on the bride. Smile true beauty comes from within and shines through.
2007-04-18 10:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Pixel 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's to bad you got suckered into those shoes - especially since you are paying. From now on, put your foot down. You don't need to be bridezilla, but that doesn't mean you can't say no once in a while:)
2007-04-18 14:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way. Its YOUR wedding! Be assertive. I'm short too & i'd have my friends as bridesmaids (if i was lucky enough to get married) & as they are taller than me, I'd insist they wear flat shoes. If this friend doesn't understand that its your big day then she isn't the right choice as bridesmaid. All the best for your special day! :)
2007-04-18 10:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you wanted them to wear smaller shoes. Plus you wearing bigger (more uncomfortable) shoes does not make sense as the bride you are going to be moving a lot.
Plus you're paying for it. Most bridesmaids are not that lucky
2007-04-18 10:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by lashlao1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your day - you are entitled to evrything the way you want , despite what your push bridesmaid thinks. You can try and take their comments on board but, in the end, it's you who makes the final decision. It isn't unresonable for you to be able to enjoy your big day, the worst thing to do is to feel guilty
Good luck and enjoy your big day!
xx
2007-04-19 01:52:14 · answer #7 · answered by poshpanda:-) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. You don't have to make a HUGE deal out of it, but it is a privelege and an honour that you invited her to be a part of your wedding (not to mention that you are paying for their outfits!). It's your wedding, not hers. You should wear what you want to wear, decorate how you want to decorate, etc. It's your special day! Celebrate it the way you want to. If she continues to pester you, simply say, "I'm happy with the choice I made. I'm not changing my mind." Leave it at that. Don't give in to her.
Congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful wedding!
XOXO,
Laurie
2007-04-18 10:54:09 · answer #8 · answered by Laurie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. It is your wedding and you have the right to have it the way you want it. Tell her," I thought about it and this is what I want. I'm not changing my mind." You have to be firm and not let her push you around.
I have never heard of the bride paying for the bridesmaids' outfits. They should pay for their own.
2007-04-18 10:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in two weddings recently and neither bride told me how I should do my hair. The shoes I can understand, but the hair? I think that's taking it too far. They know how they look best, and they should be able to feel comfortable at your wedding. As for them overshadowing you, I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone will know who the bride is!
2007-04-19 12:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋