We aren't necessarily thinking about an infant, perhaps preschool or school age child(ren). My son is very adamant that he does not want this to happen and it is tugging at my heart. He is a very good boy and doesn't ordinarily whine or otherwise complain, so I know he is sincere when he expresses to me how sad he feels just at the thought of adoption. What advice do you have? Do we continue with our plans and help our bio-son with his emotions, or do we just forget the whole idea and be a happy, 3 person family?
2007-04-18 10:45:21 · 10 answers · asked by kidskidlet 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Wow! I remember a boss of mine still had resentment in her 30s of her parents taking in foster kids when she was about your son's age. She really felt less than.
When your son is 16 or so, and focused outside the family more, he'll probably feel differently, and waiting might be all you need to do. He still needs you so much and a young child will cut deeply into your time for him.
In addition, let's face it, if you adopt a kid older than infancy, the odds are overwhelming that you will be adopting a troubled child or a special needs child whose needs will overwhelm your household and change your life forever. That's beautiful thing to be willing to do, but do you have the right to enlist your son in that?
2007-04-18 10:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well he is afraid of getting pushed aside for this new child -- a lot of only children do this -- if you really want to adopt then I would sit him down and try and work out his fears and problems with it and show him how it will help the adopted child, your son is old enough to learn what children in foster care goes through in life. Also involve him in the process have him help choose who he would like to join the family and ask for his opinion in things -- but the thing to remember is, is that he really is afraid to lose what he has with you and his father.
2007-04-18 11:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did evaluate adoption and have accompanied. so a good distance as adoption being so undesirable for the youngster my son has out lived his diagnosis (bio mom beat him into his recent situation) and is a satisfied little boy. he will continually be my infant. My daughter grew to become right into a preemie and left on the well-being center, She is a alluring clever and form person. i understand she would have the ability to make the international she touches a miles better place. She is satisfied and wanted. i've got faith each and every newborn might desire to be wanted, respected, and notably else enjoyed. I even have great infants.they're advantageous human beings. the traditional make certain newborn conflicts do ensue yet no longer something important. My infants do understand they're accompanied and are mushy with it.
2016-12-29 07:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family adopted a girl from china when I was about your son's age. It was a little different because I already had two brothers, and the girl was only 1 year old. But having a little sister will prepare your son for being a dad.
here are some books that could change your son's outlook on adoption:
http://www.amazon.com/Best-Childrens-Books-About-Adoption/lm/2F98ZLQGA80SQ
2007-04-18 10:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if adoption make you happy go for it.Your son had already adjust to being the only child so he might feel left out.Let him know that no matter what happens you still love him the same.Remember if you do plan to adopt please reassure him that you will still love him also.I think he probably think that you do not love him enough.Talk to him and find out why he doesn't want a sister or brother.
2007-04-18 11:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a three person family!! You're son will hate the adopted kid you get and it will sincerely break ur heart.
2007-04-18 10:53:35 · answer #6 · answered by ANGEL 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there are sooo many children in this world that do not have parents, hes lucky to have both of you! have you tried to explain to him that some children are not that lucky? and the age range that you are considering? how involved is he in the discussions? try to get him more involved, maybe become a foster parent...then adopt, just to see how things go. good luck!
2007-04-18 10:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by desiree_jade410 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would not bring another child into an enviroment where they will not feel loved and wanted by all family members.its not fair to the new child or your son or you and your husband.please rethink this before you make a huge mistake.
2007-04-18 10:52:57 · answer #8 · answered by dixie58 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Has he said why he doesn't want you to adopt? Until you know the reason behind it, you can't address the issue.
2007-04-18 16:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by Sylvan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say stop at one. if you and your spouse love one antoher and have a healthy family situation going on then stop and take it in. Enjoy it.
2007-04-18 10:54:27 · answer #10 · answered by eb 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋