depressed..?

Question

i am lately depressed. i am not understanding the meaning of life. my daughter died two years ago.. and now i really dont care about anything.. except my other daughter who is 9.. i carry alot of guilt about the shoulda coulda's with my deceased daughter.. but now i dont feel like doing anything.. i mean is all we are suppose to do is work and pay bills,taxes.. then die?? I get so sick of working and then coming home and going to bed and doing it all again so that i can make someone else rich and pay bills and for what.. i will be dead and wont even know what i have done.. in 50 years no one will remember what i am doing this year.. what is the meaning of life? does anyone have a good movie, book or anything to help me understand? [e-mail]
thank you for all your help.. i just want to be happy again..

Answer 1

We all get depressed.... all of us. And at times, it indeed all does seem meaningless. I'd offer you a religion, but I'm atheist, so that is no help for you. Tho I did not loose a daughter, I lost my best friend, my ex husband in a tragic accident that never should have happened, and his parents lost their only son. There is a Chinese proverb that says, "Gray hair should never bury black", and surely that has to be correct.

Exercise works, releasing those beta endorphins.

We who are sad, tend to isolate ourselves, and that can't be good. You may find some really neat friends in things that you like to do, if you have the energy when you come home from work -- symphony, photography club, lapidary clubs, volunteering at an Assistance League, or a hospital, or a Humane Society, as well as lots of things I didn't even mention. ...... lots of churches have lots of groups.... Episcopals especially. And you might get into your doc's office and get on some anti-depressants.... they do work, and you won't be on them forever. And I'd suggest you get a dog.... they listen to us all, and are never judgmental.... adult dogs are everywhere for adoption....

Good luck, hon

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about what you're going through but I can definitely empathize.
One thing that helped me was a change in religion. My former religion just didn't make sense to me and redefining my values and morals helped a lot. It doesn't mean switch religions, it's just a suggestion. Do what makes sense to you.
Another thing is every once in awhile doing something spontaneous. It gives that replay button a rest for the day and you get to do something exciting even if it's just randomly walking into a spa or going to a basketball game or something.
Just some things that helped me. Try not to think too much of the future. I really am sorry about what you're going through and I do hope things get better.
By the way, a great movie to watch is "What Dreams May Come."

Answer 3

Please read all of this, I realize that it is far fetched but I promise you it is true, I'll send you a copy of the medical records if you don't believe it.

Sir or Madam

I have personally experienced death when I was seven and found the hard way that I was allergic to nicotine by spending a day with my aunt who smokes like a train. I do not know the age of your deceased daughter but I can tell you that she comes around you often, those that have past away are the lucky ones, when I died just as when your daughter died, I simply shed my physical body and began to exist as a pure consiousness, energy if you will and I was happy to be free, do not fear death and do not mourn your daughters passing, if you wish to speak to her then speak and she will hear, if you wish to see her then look at photos and best of all if you wish to hear her voice carry a recorder with you that is always running, you will find that she speaks to you often and wishes that you could hear it. the human ear is not a perfect device so use a recorder and crank the volume when you play it back.

Answer 4

The meaning of life in my definition- to enjoy yourself and make others happy.

If you want an improved life, try new things- go places, experience things you normally wouldn't do. Bring your daughter along. You'll have lots of fun, and you won't be focusing on your deceased daughter. Maybe enjoying yourself will pull you out of this rut.

You can also try to help others. Do some volunteer work. Help families or single parents go through what you did. Maybe help some people out who are in the position.

Also, you may want to talk to a therapist if you can afford it. That can do you a lot of good, and make you realize life isn't meant to be squandered feeling sorry for yourself.

I hope this helps, and good luck.

Answer 5

Sorry for your loss. Since you didn't mention a husband, I am assuming you do not have a spouse to help you through this. You really have to find some outlet to get back on track and feeling good about yourself and life. If that means some therapy, by all means, do it. Sign up for something fun, meet new people, get your daughter involved. This has to be so difficult for her. There are plenty of self help books out there and though I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to read them, I think you need to re-immerse yourself back into life.

Answer 6

First of all DO NOT POST YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS ON HERE
that just invites spammers and other idiots to fill up your mail box ...
Second the problem you have can not be solved here you need to talk to someone who handles this kind of thing.. there are support groups and you need to find one .
Stop blaming yourself for everything .. We can't predict the future and as sad as it is death is part of life ..
I'm sorry you lost your daughter but remember you have an obligation to the other daughter so get that head up straighten yourself up and stop it ..
Yo will always have her in your heart and that's all you can do .....
You can question yourself over shoulda coulda right up to the point of where you push the other daughter right out of the picture .. find someone to talk to but not on here ..
sorry for being so blunt .. I do feel for you but sympathy won't help you over this situation .. it willl only prolong it ..

Answer 7

the death of a child is a depressing episode in your life, the pain from that loss will be with you forever, but the sting will abate with time. You do have another daughter, and if for no other reason, you are needed, and you have a job to do. She did not ask to be born, you decided that, you are responsible now for raising her up as best you can. I suggest you might benefit from seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist.

Answer 8

first of all...i am so sorry to hear about the death of your daughter..wow..that is an aweful and difficult thing to endure.

You do have a 9 yr old that needs your love and attention and i really think you should give her the attention she needs. why don't you go get your self diagnosed for depression and take medication? that might help.

get some therapy for you and your daughter. I really think it's important in the grieving process.

Answer 9

Okay, but what about your 9 year old daughter? Don't you think she needs your love and care? The best I could say to you now is keep talking about your feelings, maybe with a preacher, priest or a doctor. Good luck and please focus on your one remaining daughter.

Answer 10

I feel for you. In 2005 I lost my three best freinds to gang violence. I fell into a depression that I thought I would never escape...
I've read books, I've talked to people, I've bottled up... and after it all I've learned that getting out of it is something that you do individually. I got out of my depression after reading a quote in a book about love- "We are happiest when we aren't thinking about ourselves." I don't know why this quote helped me, and I don't know if it'll help you, but reading it and letting it melt into my psyche made the sun rise again. God speed.