we're having our wedding in a memorial hall. we have caterers coming in for the dinner but we need to work out the drinks situation. half of our family drink and half don't is it rude to ask for byo drinks or should we provide the beverages?
2007-04-18 10:22:15 · 37 answers · asked by Louiebaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Rude? No. It is your wedding, and you do not NEED to provide anything. You could just as easily be doing a Cake and Punch reception without a full meal or caterers. There is no reason why you Must provide alcohol to your guests.
I would suggest not going with BYOB or Cash bar...but those are options, if that is what you choose.Cash bar is affordable, but it can be insulting to guests.
As a Bride-to-be, planning a wedding on a budget, I'm going with a limited bar. We are buying champagne, red,white and blush wine, kegs of beer and having one signature drink. Our wedding is Beach themed, so we will probably go with a fun rum "umbrella drink".
Buying the wines and champagne/sparkling wine by the case, avoiding having a huge variety of liquor, and still providing the option to have drinks is a more affordable but still classy option.
2007-04-18 13:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should compromise by having a cash bar instead. This way, those who drink will purchase their own drinks and those who do not, won't. If you provide water, juices, sodas and other non-alcoholic beverages and allow your guests to purchase their own alcoholic beverages, it may take some of the financial burden off of your shoulders. I don't think there's anything wrong with not providing alcohol at your wedding. Afterall, it is YOUR wedding. Anyone who attends should really be there to help celebrate your day and not for free drinks. That's the bottom line.
2007-04-19 03:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by thekellyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No. It is perfectly acceptable to have an acohol free wedding as long as other refreshments are offered. Manyt people are doing this out of respect of those family members who may not approve of or have issues with alcohol. That being said - if you are nto serving alcohol, then there is NO alcohol. Asking guests to BYO is very rude - either provide it yourself or cut it out entirely - but do not ask guests to bring their own.
A nice compromise - offer wine with the meal and have that be the only alcohol, or have a limited bar, open only after the dinner, etc.
2007-04-18 14:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's rude to have a cash bar at a wedding, that's like asking the guests to pay for their share of the wedding. But it's not rude to choose to not have alcohol, my brother and his wife did that for their wedding, for several reasons. 1 was the high cost of alcohol, and the other was the many family members who don't drink at all. Generally, a bar will charge you per person, regardless if they drink or not, so you're basically paying for twice as much for 1/2 the people. Just remember, you don't have to have alcohol to have a good time, and if people do, they've got problems.
2007-04-18 13:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can have fun at a wedding without alcohol. Just provide sodas and coffee and stuff.
Or, ask the caterer about paying per drink (as opposed to per person). If only half are drinking, it may be more economical. Dont do a cash bar, it is sooo tacky.
2007-04-19 07:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first question to ask yourself is do you want liquor at all. If the answer is yes, then it is appropriate ettiquette to provide the drinks. Depending on your budget you can make it open bar (all drinks - crack out your life savings), just beer and wine on you (not as expensive and you can set a time limit ie 2 hours). Or have a bar available but they pay for own drinks.
If you have a casual at home wedding than do what you like.
Remember its your wedding not your family's and its your choice. Just remember the more freely the liquor flows the more likely someone will get stupid so choose carefully! We had a open beer and wine bar but some guests stuck us with their mixed drinks. So make sure your bartender knows your wishes and doesnt get conned by anyone.
Good luck.
2007-04-18 18:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by Bree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to do BYO drinks. However it is perfectly acceptable to not provide alcohol. You can serve coffee, teas, sodas, etc... Alcohol is quite expensive and out of many peoples' budgets. It is never to be expected at a wedding. If you'd like, provide champagne and sparkling cider for the toast only.
2007-04-18 10:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by ubiquitous_mr_lovegrove 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You can choose to provide alcohol at the wedding, or choose not to provide alcohol at all, and just have soft drinks. But it would be rude to expect your guests to "BYO". If you invite someone to a function, you should provide their food and drink.
2007-04-21 19:45:02 · answer #8 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is totally acceptable to ask people to bring their own alcohol. As far as the soft drinks go, i think that should be supplied. On you invitations just add the sign BYOA, (B is a bit hard for a wedding) , and say "soft drinks are supplied".
Good luck and many happy returns for the big day!!!!
2007-04-19 00:05:54 · answer #9 · answered by Purity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to provide any alcohol at your wedding should you choose not to.
What I did was pay $500 to my banquet hall (ballroom at the hotel), and we have a bar for the evening. Once it hit $500, they informed me and the bar then turned to a cash bar. You can provide unlimited soda and juice, but if you want to be careful with the alcohol, you can set a minimum or none at all.
When we gave my brother a party, the hall we held it at did not allow alcohol in the party rooms since they had a bar separate in the facility- so everyone was expected to buy their own drinks.
Good luck with your decision.
2007-04-18 10:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋