in law problems ? :(?

Question

we ve been married 2 months and we thousands of miles away from both our families. the other day my father in law, while talkin to me made a comment that my father is not cultured enuf. all i can remember now is the rage i felt and i just told him thats the way my dad is and i cant do anything abt it. after this i spent the whole night crying and my hubby consoled me. later when i wanted to talk abt it he blamed everything on me and my father. and i was just shocked anyways we agreed not to talk abt it. what if he brings it up again ? he says my dad said rude things to him and i know for sure that he is lying since my dad never spoke to him in my absence. how can he do this ? i donno how to react at all..

am 100% sure that my dad dint say anything, he is a very quiet person and hardly speaks at all.. him saying insulting things abt anybody is impossible.

Answer 1

Seeing that you are not around your dad, you can't know that he didn't say rude things to your...would that be your father-in-law or husband?

The best thing to do is drop it, otherwise it will just cause problems. You want your husband to take your fathers side in this, however that is unrealistic and selfish. He needs to side with his father unless confronted with real facts. Even then the best thing for him to do would be stay neutral. If the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn't be happy if your husband expected you to side against your father now would you?

Answer 2

I can tell you that if you don't clear the air this issue will simmer beneath the surface and grow bigger and bigger until when something very innocent happens you blow up. One night after dinner ask your husband if the two of you can have an adult conversation, sit at the kitchen table, no interruptions (no phones, cell phones, tv, NOTHING). If possible write down everything you want to tell him beforehand so that you don't get emotional and forget some of it and it sounds stupid. Also first tell him that you can't have this issue between you two. Call him on his lie and his calling your father rude names. That's unacceptable in any marriage (the spouse whose parent it is can be frustrated with their family and the only spouse can politely agree) but unless there is major issues one spouse should never put down the other spouses' family (it's very similar to a direct insult). Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 3

Yuck! Well you can't control what other people think or say. If your father in law mentions something again just tell him that your dad is your dad and you love him and would appreciate him not making comments about him. I wouldn't get worked up about it, as far as I'm concerned all in laws are pains! If you feel like talking about it with your husband I think that you should be able to without him getting upset or him saying its your or your dads fault. Your husband and you are partners now and on the same team, not his family versus your family and maybe you should remind him of that. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I wouldn`t bother reacting to such stupidity. In laws always think they have a better lifestyle. Your husband may have to step up to the plate and tell your father inlaw to butt out. My husband had to finally put the breaks on his father, ( the pervert), and I`ve had silence ever since..