I dislike this girl very much, but, I am nice to her at work to keep the peace. She thinks I like her especially now since I got engaged and she thinks we're "the same". Now she has invited me to her wedding and I don't want to go! We work in a small place and I have to see her every day. How can I politely decline without it being obvious that I just don't want to go. It's coming up this summer so I need to think fast. Say I'm going on vacation??
2007-04-18 07:38:49 · 31 answers · asked by really marine 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
There is no need to give an excuse. Simply decline the invitation. If she presses you for a reason tell her you have another commitment that day and leave it at that.
2007-04-18 07:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let her know now that you won't be able to attend. If you don't want to tell her the truth, tell her an important family event is being held the same day. Don't say you're going on vacation. Someone else at work may tell her you were at work while she was off.
I would still send a small gift. Also since you seem to not want to tell her the truth and hurt her feeling, be prepared to get invited to a shower.
2007-04-18 10:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by J M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the people who have said you can decline to go, you don't have to give a reason, but if pressed, then say you have a previous committment on that day.
But in the interest of office harmony, I would most definitely send a gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, but not cheap either. You should put some thought into what she might need or like. Whether you like her or not.
2007-04-18 08:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by meg3f 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To keep the peace, sorry to all the "honesty is the best policy" people, but you can't tell her the truth. Tell her you're going on vacation or relatives are coming into town that week (what are the odds? lol). AND, most important, remember what you tell her, because she will ask you about it later. (Don't say trip? What trip?) As others have said, definitely send a gift. After her wedding, you can ask how it was and say your relatives/trip was cancelled last minute and you were sorry to have missed her wedding. Honesty has a very large place in life, but here ain't it.
2007-04-18 07:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by Dose of Reality 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Respond "Thank you very much for the invitation. I am sorry I cannot attend, I have other plans."
Your "plans" could be staying home - your plans are your personal business and you don't have to discuss them with her.
You have enough time to plan something anyway- you could be out of town (go to the next town to go shopping, or spend time with relatives)
You may still need to send a card and and maybe a gift (especially if she gets something for you).
2007-04-18 09:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lizzie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When the invitation comes in the mail or lands on your desk, return the RSVP card and check the "I won't be attending" box. If she asks why, tell her that you have a family function to attend. No further explanation is necessary.
Good for you on keeping the peace at work.
2007-04-18 11:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by westcoastnelsons 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to go if you don't want to. Your best bet to do so gracefully is to do it with plenty of time before hand. If she presses your for a reason then say there's a family matter that's going to prevent you from going. The key is to do it before she pays for your plate at the reception. Alternatively you can tell her you can go to the ceremony but not the reception (which might be a nice compromise since you have to see her every day). She'll be happy and you won't have to interact with her.
Be prepared when you start planning your wedding. You will get all sorts of 'helpful' advice from her.
2007-04-18 07:46:39 · answer #7 · answered by LX V 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Other that saying one of your relatives just died (like 2 days before her wedding and tell her on the phone, maybe cry a little) I don't see how you are going to be able to say no without offending her. You have to understand this is the biggest moment of her life and she expects you to understand that. It's lame I know and it sucks to have to be polite to people we don't even like, but anything you say will be taken the wrong way and it will create tension in your work place, if you say you are going on vacation she will think "well, cancel you vacation".
I think you should just go, I mean, it's free food and you could have fun, it's not like you have to be by her side the whole night, ask her if you can bring a couple of friends and make the party about you, not her.
2007-04-18 07:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Simply decline. Buy a nice card and something small from the registry and give that to her with your regrets of not being able to attend.
2007-04-18 09:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by raynne_iceni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just decline and say you already had plans that day.
And joke around how fast your calendar fills up. Sorry you won't make it.
And then send a card, so you can get out of the present giving to.
2007-04-18 07:46:02 · answer #10 · answered by Rhi 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋