Am I wrong for this?

Question

I asked a question not to long ago about my baby's daddy not coming to see his daughter's like he should. I was told by many of you that I was doing the right thing by not letting him walk in and out of their lives. Now, my question is this: He called and asked if he could have them I said yeah but you have to pick them up at my sister's house (Which is right down the street) he says no I didn't have kids with her I tell him I don't want him to know where I live and he states I have to let him know. I don't think I do. We don't get alone and if he finds out where I live he will cause much trouble for me what do I do? Am I wrong for not telling him?

Also while the PPO was on him we had a court order saying that his cousin was the only one to pick them one but didn't say only until the PPO was experienced does his cousin still have to pick them up until we get the order changed?

Also he doesn't pay child support he doesn't have to and I have had a PPO on him before because he was a treat to my home will that help me keep him from finding out where I live?

Answer 1

At this point you're probably saying to yourself "A freekin gun would have been cheaper".

It's all the BS that you have to encounter because at first he didn't want to see the kids, now he does, and a week later he doesn't unless he gets things his way. He's sounds like a very controlling person who's jerking you around!!

Unfortunately he has a right to know, even if you were to remarry and move out of state. The court sets the visitation but in most cases both parties need to compromise a little.
These court decisions are not easy on anyone except the attorneys.

I know for sure is that Virginia laws and Kentucky laws are different when it involves kids, child support, visitation, etc.

You'll get through this but you both need to put the kids first. Let's face it, even though this guy is a jerk, he is the only father the kids have. They didn't ask for this life but always seem to be the ones who suffer especially if they have to grow up listening to this crap.
Good luck sugar britches.

Answer 2

If telling the children's father where you live would cause problems for you, then you should go get an order stating that he can not be at your home. Maybe a restraining order would work. There is no reason why you can't meet him in a public place to exchange the kids. If you have an order that says his cousin must pick up the children, untill you get that changed, his cousin should still have to pick them up. I wouldn't change that unless the courts informed me to do so.
You may have to eventually let him know where you live (because that is his children too), but you need to find out from the court first. Let them know that he causes you problems and that he dirupts your life. They may not require you to tell him. Tell him that you will let him know where you live, but the first time he causes problems, you will get a restraining order. Maybe that will scare him up a little. But I would first check with the courts. They will be able to help you out and let you know the laws on this where you live. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

Try another compromise, meet at a local kid friendly place where there will be other people around, a McDonalds, Chuck E Cheese, or even a park. Make an arrangement for the same thing when he is due to drop the children off, when he does do not go straight home, go out to dinner with your kids or stop by a friends house to visit for a while. Also please be aware of what his plans are, where is he taking the kids while he has them, and what time does he plan on having them back. Make it know you do expect him to be on time, get a pay as you go cell phone for him to contact you in case of an emergency.

Answer 4

Honey, you don't have to let him know where you live unless there is a court order stating that he is to be aware of the where the children are residing. I would document EVERYTHING he says and does. Document the date and time of each interaction with him and if it was by phone or in person. This will save you in the future and make him look like a fool! If you believe he is a danger or a threat to you and/or your children I would file a restraining order. He needs to grow up and realize that he is a father. I'm sorry that you and your children have to deal with someone so immature. Good luck to you all.

Answer 5

I know where I live (in Alaska) my sister had to let her ex-husband know where she lived, since that is where his child was living. The visitation court order was for him to pick up and return the child there at her home. He also had to let her know where the child was staying when he was with him.

It may be different in your state or you may not even have a visitation order.

You are not wrong for not letting him know where you live. If you are forced to tell him through the courts then you can deal with that then but I wouldn't tell him voluntarily. If you explain to the courts what the problem is they can have visitation pick up done at your sisters house.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Actually unless it you have a restraining order, or a court order stating that he not to know where you live then you do have to let him know where you live. You can meet him anywhere you want to meet him. He does have every right to know where you live as long as you have children together. If you don't have custodial papers then you probably should have some drawn up. They will state where he can pick the kids up.

Answer 7

No, I don't think you have to tell him where you live. If he's uncomfortable going to your sisters house then meet him at a fast food parking lot such as Burger King, this way you're both on neutral territory.

Answer 8

by law in most staes if he pays support you have to let him know where you live.

in any case if he's that much of a problem i wouldn't tell him

and if he really cared about the baby he would go by your terms, i think your right for doing what your doing

Answer 9

I would meet him in a public place for visits. Like a fast food restaurant or something. This way no one else is involved with it.

Answer 10

tell him that you live with your uncle for now that you don't have your own house, tell him to meet you there if he agrees fine go to your uncle place with the kids and let him come meet you there to take the children.