I recently started seeing this guy (24) who moved here in january..we work together...and i really care about him, but he perplexes me so much. we pretty much spend every night together and stuff, but then sometimes he'll say he's got some stuff to do...and then i freak out because i feel like he doesnt care about me...and i dont know if you guys know what facebook is, but through there i added his cousin (a girl) that he's close to as a friend. I started talking to her and she said she would ask him about me (cuz he hadnt mentioned me yet, which was bad news for me already) and when she asked him about me, he said "nahh...tell me about your new dude" (she also recently started dating someone)...now, this kind of offended me? Would you be offended? He tells me he cares about me a lot, and is serious about me, but these things really get to me. why does he not want to talk about me? Is there a valid reason for this? what questions should i ask him?! please help!
2007-04-18 07:22:47 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
people at work and mutual friends know we are dating (he calls me his girlfriend) i know im not just a booty call...i just want to know what to do about this whole situation with his cousin and everything...
2007-04-18 07:29:27 · update #1
Not sure how recently is 'recent', but my personal opinion is that you need to chill out a little.
You say he spends 'pretty much every night' with you, but you are insecure when he says he has stuff to do? That's crazy. You can't spend every second together, and I'll tell you something else. Guys don't like girls long that don't have their own thing going on. How about YOU TELL HIM one night you have something else to do. Don't make it so easy and don't be so available to him. You just started seeing him recently and you are already letting him know that you are around anytime he wants. That is a bad, bad idea.
As far as his cousin - he may just be a private person. I can't be sure, but I'm guessing you aren't near 24 years old, or you wouldn't be having her pump him for information.
My advice: Grow up a little and it wouldn't hurt to keep him on his toes a little. Nobody (guys or girls) want somebody around ALL the time. When someone is around ALL the time, you never even get a chance to miss them - how would you know how much you liked them or didn't?
2007-04-18 07:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay not to spend every night together. Healthy relationships are built on trust and it's good for couples to be comfortable being apart once in awhile. People do have other interests in their lives usually. However, that's a little strange that he doesn't want to discuss you w/his cousin. Then again, maybe he's just a really private guy and doesn't want everyone pressuring him about marriage and stuff. It seems like he does care about you if he's willing to spend that much time w/you, so yeah, I would be offended too about the not talking about you but just wait and see what happens before you make any judgements about what he's thinking. He could just be unsure about commitment. You could ask his cousin to ask him why he won't talk about you w/her.
2007-04-18 14:29:17 · answer #2 · answered by Smiles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will drive him away if you insist on spending every day and night with him! If he has something else to do, he should so it. I mean, you already see him at work everyday. Lots of guys don't talk about their relationships. My boyfriend never says anything about me, partly out of respect for my privacy. Don't fall into the "myspace trap" where you start stalking his page either. Jealousy is not attractive. Get a hold of yourself and just ASK him what he thinks about your relationship. Are you his girlfriend? What does he want for the future? etc. good luck = )
2007-04-18 14:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by lei 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is very reserved about his personal business - then that is ok... you are freaking out for no reason...
If he is NOT very reserved, and likes to discuss things in the open with fam and friends - then he just does not want to talk about you... which I do not understand because he's with you all the time!!!...
I don't know what else to tell you... but you should not be playing games with "gossip" and "do me this favor" with his family... it just does not look good on you...
Good Luck
2007-04-18 14:31:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need to clarify your relationship, (fyi dating coworkers is a big no no off the bat) secondly how does he view you? as a gf or a booty call. if he hasnt takled about his family to you i would take this as a hijnt that hes hiding something and prolly dating other peopel as well as you. try not to be so clingy. give him some space, and ask him to come clean so you arent left waiting and wondering.
2007-04-18 14:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be taking things slow. That is actually the best way to build a solid relationship. I know it is hard on you, but be patient. If he is right for you, things will work out.
2007-04-18 14:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be offended too, he doesn't seem as into the relationship as you are, I would be pissed if I were in your shoes. She ask him straight up, you deserve to know why he's hiding you. Honesty is the best policy and it sounds like he's not being honest with you like you are to him.
You may have to move on dear...good luck!!
2007-04-18 14:31:59 · answer #7 · answered by ♥RaCheL♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.
Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation ...
She is speaking in a cheery voice "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye."
She hangs up the telephone, and her lover asks, "Who was that? Oh, she replies, that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having with you on his fishing trip.
2007-04-18 14:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by Deli Ozy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Read the book "He's Just Not That Into You" - if you are o.k. with being a friend with benefits continue in the relationship. If not, move on.
2007-04-18 14:26:34 · answer #9 · answered by molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously afraid to commit, especially to family members who might spread the word. Be wary of this guy.
2007-04-18 14:28:02 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋