How to get out of going to wedding?

Question

Friends of my husbands and I are getting married this Saturday. My husband is a groomsman. I RSVP that we would both be going but being that we live in a small town and everyone we know and trust to watch our kids is going to the wedding (I dont have any family here and my parents in law are going to even though they don't really know the couple but were invited for some reason), we weren't able to find child care for our kids, 2 years old and 10 years old. My husband called the groom and he said we could bring the kids but I dont feel comfortable with doing that. My 10 year old would be ok and probably have a good time but my 2 year old will make it miserable for me since I know he wont sit still and be quite for the ceremony and Ill be running all over with him at the recpetion (Im 6 months pregnant to boot). I've been trying to talk to my husband about this but he keeps insisting I go, even trying to guilt me into going.

He doesnt get that I would LOVE to go if we had someone to watch the kids. How to relay to him that it isnt fair for me or the bride and groom if we take the kids to the wedding? Or do you think I should go?

My mother in law isnt helping because she keeps telling him that Im being silly and just trying to get out of the wedding which Im not.

Answer 1

You know your kids better than anyone on Yahoo answers. As a bride to be, I would be most appreciative of any mother who would be willing to recognize that her child is a pain in the butt, who could potentially cause a lot of problems at my wedding, and opt instead to stay home to take care of that child. If I was you I would stick to my guns on this one. If you cannot find someone you trust to watch the little one, stay home with your children, and wish your husband a lovely evening.

Answer 2

Well, if you really can't find a babysitter, I think you should bring the kids. This close to the wedding, they have already paid for you to be there. As long as they are absolutely sure of what they're getting into by having your children as guests, then I don't think it will be a problem. If you truly feel like this is a bad idea, because of your youngest child's age and your pregnancy, then just explain to the couple the situation and I am sure they will understand. If you do take your children, is there anyone at the wedding who would be willing to help you chase after your 2 year old? First, I would see if there is anyone you can trust to sit them for the night. Maybe a close neighbor or if you belong to a church, someone from there could be willing to help out. I know that this has probably not been much help, but the decision comes down to what you feel is best. If you are not up to this, then you should stay home. If you think you can handle it for one night, then go.

Answer 3

First of all, if your friends have told you it would be all right to bring your children, then take them at their word and do just that. (I would make sure your hubby checked with the BRIDE though, you and I both know how men are about these things...LOL)

However, as a mother of 2 kids who are now teenagers, I can fully remember those wonderful years when they were 2. No, I didn't enjoy taking them out in public then either. And I certainly wouldn't want to chase a 2 year old around a wedding reception while 6 months pregnant. So I completely understand where you're coming from on this one.

It sounds like it's important to your husband that you be there though, so it sounds to me as though you may just have to suck it up and go. Sometimes we do things for our spouses simply because they want us to, not because we really want to do them. Look at it as doing a nice thing for your hubby. Maybe compromise on this one, tell him you'll go to the wedding and reception, but you want to leave when YOU say you've had enough. Maybe even take 2 cars, since he'll probably have to be there early anyway--that's a thought.

Hopefully also, since your in laws and close friends will all be at this wedding, everyone can take turns chasing your 2 year old. I wouldn't bank on it, I can't tell you how many events I went to when our children were little when I was told "Oh, we'll help with the kids!" and then I wound up doing it all anyway. Hopefully that WON'T happen to you.

So I think you should go, I don't think your husband would make such a big deal about it if he didn't think it was important, at least my husband wouldn't. And usually I find, when I wind up going to stuff like this in spite of myself, I have a pretty good time and am glad I went when it's all over.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I'd do in your situation: NOT GO.

And if your MIL and husband throw fits, tell them to their faces that they're being selfish and spoiled.
You are pregnant, and you won't have your husband by your side to help with the little one...he's IN the wedding party as well as will be at the head table, so who will help YOU??!
Its obvious that the MIL couldn't give less of a sh!t about you, your feelings OR your condition.

Do what YOU think is best. Just send your regrets to the bride and/or groom. I'm positive that the bride and groom would understand...and frankly THEY are the only two who should matter.

If I were you, I'd tell your MIL and husband to get stuffed!

Answer 5

Why dont you try out someone new and have them over a day or 2 in advance to get to know them and for them to get to know your house and your kids. That way you will feel better about leaving the kids with a new person.
Just go for a few hours, the crucial hours, the wedding and first hour or 2 of the reception, you dont have to be gone all day!
Good Luck

Answer 6

I assume they know you have a toddler. If there weren't going to be bunches of of children running around or they thought it was an issue they would have said so. So you really don;t have to worry about yours.

But you being very pregnanct and too tired to handle the event is a legitimate reason to not want to drag your kids around all night and keep after them.

Could you compromise? Haul the kids over to the ceremony and then tell your hubby that if he wants you there for the reception he has to be responsible for them there?

Or volunteer just to bring the kids and yourself briefly over for the reception? Just long enough to eat, say hi, and then go?

Answer 7

This is one of those rare occasions where the truth is the best excuse. Your explanation of your reasons for not attending the wedding are very legitimate. It is a shame your husband and mother in law do not leave it alone and let you do it the way you wish. They should feel grateful to have such a smart conscientious daughter in law/ wife.

Answer 8

i think that if the invites said "adults only" then you could stay home with the kids but if it didnt and like you said everyone you know is going to be there then why not take the kids to the wedding.

are other people taking their kids? maybe your 2 yr old will have other kdis to play with at the reception

Answer 9

I would go. The groom said it would be ok to bring the kids.

You could always leave the reception early if you are getting too worn out.

Find out if there are other kids your kids age going, perhaps they can play together.

Answer 10

have you considered your staying home or even outdoors for the ceremony itself and then you and kids attending the reception? at the reception where it is more relaxed the kids can be entertained with coloring books dancing and games? if there are going to be other kids and especially a teenager perhaps you could pay them a few bucks to entertain them so you can enjoy yourself.